[Dear_Trent_#_35]

Dear Trent,

I know it's been forever since I last wrote, but don't think I don't love you the same as always. I totally, totally do. I hope you're having a nice break, baby, and I hope you're cooking up something beautiful for me in the new record department. As a longtime follower of your doings, I feel a little foolish for looking forward to such a thing in the near future, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, Sparklepants. Maybe I'm a fool, but I believe you when you say "shortly."

In the meantime, here are a few of the things I've been doing:

• Suffering a mortal illness, probably typhoid, that means all I do is lay in bed all day and cry.

• Dreaming about Nyquil, which isn't available in my neck of the woods, and that makes me cry harder. I bet you aren't allowed to take Nyquil, huh Trent? That's a pity. I'll bet there are literally SHELVES full of it in Los Angeles!

• Watching all 8 hours of The Thorn Birds in one day, and crying when Fee tells Meggie that Dane is dead, and then crying more when Meggie tells Archbishop Ralph that Dane was his son.

• Falling madly in love with Stephen Colbert. Trent? When we get married, you know how you've got to have a list of people whom, no matter what, you'd HAVE to sleep with if given the opportunity, and the other person would HAVE to forgive you? Stephen Colbert is on my list. I hope you'll be able to forgive me. If you wouldn't, I'd probably cry.

• Listening to Justin Timberlake and Bob Dylan's new records, which rule.

• Crying.

Trent, my dear? We miss you. We miss your sexy ways, and all the crying is really doing nothing for my looks. Come back soon.

Love,
Dierdre