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2006.01.08

[International_David_Bowie_Day]

The world's awesomest rockstar turns 59 years old today...

Dbowie

And, gentle readers, he is still a total juggernaut of absolutely staggering genius. Yes, yes. Trent is totally awesome, but all I'm saying is this: ZIGGY FUCKING STARDUST, DUDES.

Happy Birthday to David Bowie...

...and David? Thanks for always being so nice to Trent.

Posted by Dierdre ~ in inside_dierdre | Permalink

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Comments

For the record, it's also Elvis's birthday today. January 8th was a great say for rock, man.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 8, 2006 6:46:51 AM

*day

Posted by: Kim | Jan 8, 2006 8:50:32 AM

I suppose I deserve that, after the whole "nitpicking" thing.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 8, 2006 10:03:02 AM

Just some helpful correcting. After all, the 8th of January being a great say for rock doesn't make much sense. Couldn't let people think you typed that on purpose.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 8, 2006 10:31:00 AM

Thank you, Dierdre, for acknowledging my one and only true religious holiday. :-)

Posted by: Buttercup | Jan 8, 2006 12:36:58 PM

That one was for you, sweets. Also, David Bowie Day must be acknowledged. How bitchin' is he in that picture?

I listened to Low and Aladdin Sane today, and seriously, the incredible artistic output of that man is truly unrivaled. I recently saw the DVD of his last tour, and it was pure, unmitigated excellent. Do they make 'em like that anymore?

There is just NO ONE who compares.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 8, 2006 2:09:38 PM

I just read that article Bowie wrote. Thaks for posting that, D

He is the fucking man.

Posted by: Nicole | Jan 8, 2006 7:12:32 PM

Now you're talking.

Posted by: Dom | Jan 8, 2006 8:47:12 PM

Bowie has the best concert stamina I've ever seen. We saw him a couple of years ago, and the man played EVERYTHING. Including "I'm Afraid of Americans." God bless him forever and ever.

Posted by: maise | Jan 8, 2006 8:57:57 PM

Btw, nice hyperbolic banner change, Gabe.

Look what happens when I leave for a couple of days.

Posted by: maise | Jan 8, 2006 9:02:43 PM

You know what I love about that article? It's the way Bowie skips over The Fragile like it never existed:

I cannot believe that Spiral was released over ten years ago now. It is absolutely time for him to bring on his new work.

I think it's because it's absolutely true that The Fragile is somehow deeply unequal to the task of following The Best Record Ever. Anyway, I just think it's interesting, the way Bowie just skips over it in his mind.

I love that little article, though. I love it that Trent gets his props from the coolest rockstar in the history of the world, but, who, more than that, is one of the greatest living artists we have in any medium. I wonder how Trent felt when he read it?

Good, I'd think.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 8, 2006 9:38:47 PM

I still don't get it. The Fragile is personally my favorite. TDS is good too, but I just don't like it as much.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 8, 2006 10:15:58 PM

Kim, I love The Fragile, too; don't get me wrong. It's just that, in my opinion, The Downward Spiral is just such a monumentally flawless record. It also tells a story that, without a next beat of transformation, is just a story of horror. The Fragile, while it was beautiful, was also often little more than a wordless abyss, and there's such a darkness in it that's so much more shattering and real than the willful narrative of destruction on Spiral.

In a way, that's the strength of The Fragile -- it's an unflinching record, and distressingly clear portrait of his failure to transform the harrowing journey he'd been on. It's full of recrimination, escapism, terror and most horribly, paralysis. He's said, in interviews last year, that when he listens to it now, he hears the fear in it, and knows he's about to go off the deep end. Obviously, I didn't know anything about his personal business when The Fragile came out, but I could hear that he was all wrong, and to me, it felt blunted, muddled, and sad. I could never understand why people saw optimism in it; I felt desperation. Just the sound of his VOICE on so many songs on that record just kills me. I could hardly stand to listen to it for years, and I am so happy that he seems like he's out of the woods now.

I listen to The Fragile all the time, these days, though, and I love it more than ever. I certainly listen to it more often that I do The Downward Spiral, which it seems to me must be taken whole, like medicine.

...But, hey! What's everyone's favorite David Bowie record? Mine's Low. I think it and Lodger might be David Bowie's The Fragile...

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 2:25:29 AM

Everything you said, those are the exact reasons why I love it. I never saw optimism in The Fragile. It shows me how he was, and, looking at him now, how he overcame it. It shows me how I am. But unlike him, I don't think I'll be able to pull myself out of this. I already know that to continue is to give up completely and end. I know that, and I just don't care enough anymore. Too little, too late, and all that rot.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 9, 2006 5:52:04 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. BOWIE! I remember being pretty young loving his music, was entranced by "Ziggy Stardust".

The Fragile is actually my favorite nin record. I include Still as an extension of The Fragile and love it as well.

I had a hard time with The Fragile when it first came out because of personal reasons. I was not able to listen to it much after a few times and I could not go to shows from that tour. Then as I got to feeling better and re-aquatinted myself with the material, and the members of the band from that era, I fell in love with everything about it. When I finally sat down for my first viewing of AATCHB several years after it had released, I cried because it was so apparent between seeing Trent, and what he & the other guys had said in interviews how closely he was to doing himself in. To pull himself out of that place was awesome. With Teeth is special to me mostly because it represents Trent not continuing down a self destructive path. Trent is still Trent (as he's demonstrated over the past year), but he's alive & healthy.

Another aspect of The Fragile era for me....here enters Mr. Dillon.

Posted by: bex | Jan 9, 2006 6:28:41 AM

I loved the Fragile when it came out, but I found it to be quite a lot to digest. I never really appreciated "right" until my full-blown obsession of this year.

I guess "With Teeth" is the album that's closest to my heart because it's the one that showed up at just the right time and really spoke to me...it still does.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 7:11:07 AM

Kim, seriously: you are a teenaged girl. Trent was a 35 year old man, with 35 year old grown up man/rockstar angst. He's been down one too many paths that the likes of the rest of us will never, ever see. If you think that The Fragile shows you how you are, you are just being a self-indulgent, delusional drama queen.

Believe me, I know what depression is. I have been down that road hardcore. I am not dismissing your feelings, here, but a big part of fucking snapping out of it is not wallowing in self-pity. Your whole life is ahead of you. Soon you won't live in your parents' house, and you will be in college, and everything will change around you for the better. This is only now, Kim. It's not forever.

Too little too late IS rot, when you are 18 or 19 years old. Don't fucking eat it.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 9, 2006 7:39:11 AM

Oh, and my favorite David Bowie record is Ziggy Stardust & The Spiders From Mars. Freak out to a moonage daydream, oh yeah.

Posted by: jane | Jan 9, 2006 7:41:00 AM

Diamond Dogs.

Like Marilyn Manson, David Bowie has balls that Trent Reznor can only dream of sucking.

Posted by: Dom | Jan 9, 2006 7:49:25 AM

I actually think -- and I will catch extreme hell here, no doubt -- that Bowie's "Outside" record is his most underrated album, and one of his greatest pieces of work altogether. It definitely is my personal favorite; for whatever reasons, that record is the one that I feel actually speaks my language along every step of the way.

And Kim? Don't make me kick your ass. Believe you me -- I was about the most miserable bastard you can imagine while in high school. Violent anger, death-fantasy-laden depression, and plain just getting home from school and crying from time to time. No, I am not joking.

And then I was able to leave, and go to college, and discover who I was... on my own terms. Spread my wings, and find friends that helped my better understand myself. Jane is right on this one. So HANG THE FUCK IN THERE, my dear... or I will start writing poems to you. And you most certainly do not want that. We love you!

Posted by: Gabriel | Jan 9, 2006 8:15:31 AM

I am all about Ziggy Stardust-era Bowie and the glam rock days as well.

Kim, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Gabriel is so right. High school does suck...and as someone who frequently experiences depression, I know that it can make you hate life even when things wouldn't seem so bad to an outsider. I know that things may seem hopeless and endless to you now--school and the power struggles with your parents, but that will all change very, very soon. In about eight months, I presume that you'll be living in a dorm and making new friends and tasting real freedom for the first time. It's a WONDERFUL experience...hell, I just went back to my college town this past weekend to relive those fabulous days. Adult life only gets more complicated after you get out of college, so ENJOY it.

Hang in there...this too shall pass.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 8:46:28 AM

Oh, Kim. I relate to you on so many levels.

Junior/Senior year were the fragile years for me too. I felt so hopeless. It was the first time in my life were I truly wanted to die.

Thinking about it now, having the fragile in my cd player probably didn't help much. I agree that the lyrics can be weak at times but the instramental aspects are amazing. It was awesomely bizzar to hear music, not lyrics that sounded the way I was feeling. Mainly fear and despair.

It's a shitty time, I know. You have to suck it up and get through it. Once you do, you'll be so elated, and those last three weeks of high school are unforgettable. I fucking hated high school, but the weeks before graduation were some of the funnest I had.

Maise is right, dorm life is amazing. I'm begging you, don't fuck it up!!! Or you'll end up in community college like myself, which doesn't suck nearly as much as high school, but isn't nearly as fun as real college.

Gabe is right too, we do love you!

Posted by: Nicole | Jan 9, 2006 9:20:43 AM

I've been like this for way longer than just my teenage years. It only got worse when junior high and high school came around. This isn't just some teenaged angst. I've always hated myself and life, from the furthest back I can remember.

1) I was tormented by my peers from day one of kindergarten. Over 12 years of being told various degrading things, and you start to believe them. You start to be them.
a) You're fat.
b) You're ugly.
c) You're stupid.
d) You can't do it.
e) You're not good enough.
f) No one likes you.
g) No one wants to be your friend.

2) College is out of the question.
a) My family doesn't have the money to pay for it.
b) I don't have the energy or means to get a job, full time or part time, and actually keep it.
c) I don't have the grades to get scholarships.
d) There is no way I'm going to take out student loans - I'd rather not be in debt so early in life.
e) Financial Aid will only pay so much.

3) Family life is fine at the moment.

Jane: Calling me self-indulgent and delusional was pushing it just a little too much. I am in no way delusional. I am perfectly rational, lucid, sober - whatever word you prefer to use. Self-indulgent people also don't ignore themselves for years and years in order to make sure that everyone else they care about is happy. Drama queen I can handle, self-indulgent and delusional, no. Kiss my fucking ass.

I don't know why I bother talking about it anymore. It's always the same stuff, over and over, and it doesn't and never will help. "It's not that bad. Once you get out of the house, once you go to college, it'll get better."

It is that bad. I'm not going to college. I probably won't even graduate. I can't get out of this house. It's not going to get any better, or if it will, it's not going to get better soon enough.

These meds aren't helping, or at least, the only thing they're doing is keeping the second breakdown at bay. I'm still depressed, I'm still upset, I'm still sad, I'm still angry. And the news my principal just called with two hours ago didn't help things.

Maybe I keep writing about it because people are finally listening and I need to get it out. I can't do it verbally, so I do it in writing. I can't speak about it because what's the point? I've been trying to get someone to listen for so long, and suddenly they want to know everything. Why now? Because the breakdown I had before school made me shove it in my mom's face that I'm not ok, that I've never been ok? It finally reached the breaking point, and I finally badgered for help. I'd asked several times before, and got the nice, overused "There's nothing wrong with you" response.

But all of a sudden, it's "Ok. Fine. You think you need help, here it is."

I've been trying for years to get someone to finally realize that I need help. To finally help me get the help I need. And now that I have it, I don't know what to do.

You see me now. You finally notice. It's too much, it's too late. I wanted help years ago, when it wasn't as bad as it is now. You wouldn't give it. Too little, too late.

I don't have the will or the energy to fight it anymore. I've tried and tried only to fail over and over again. I'm tired. I am fucking tired, and I can't do it. I won't do it. Yes, I've given up. Think of me what you will. I don't care enough to be bothered with it anymore.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 9, 2006 1:09:08 PM

Kim, hold up. PLEASE hang in there and PLEASE listen to what I've got to say because I have been in that same miserable boat.

When I was younger, sometimes random kids who didn't even know me would take time out of their day to inform me that I was ugly. I had people saying shit like that to me all the way through senior year of high school. I still think I'm ugly about 263 days out of the year...I just don't care as much. Because you see, once you get out of that world of high school bullshit, NO ONE has to make someone feel like shit to make themselves feel better. You get to college, and all of a sudden, everyone is about "live and let live." They're more into discovering who they are themselves than putting people down. And you won't have as much time to care about what other people think of you. You'll be too busy learning and socializing and figuring out what you want to do with your life. I mean, it's not like all of a sudden no one's shallow and mean anymore...it's just that they lock themselves away in frat and sorority houses and take their aggressions out on each other.

But you MUST go to college. My mom was super-poor back in those days. I mean, we had creditors calling every five minutes and not enough food in the house to eat and there was talk that she was going to lose the house. But skipping college was OUT OF THE QUESTION. Do NOT rob yourself of that experience out of a fear of student loans. I had student loans, and I paid them off about a year or two after I got out of grad school. If your parents really have no money, then you are eligible for all kinds of grants and loans. There's work-study...you can get an easy part-time job on campus to help you with living expenses. I worked in a library, and it was the best job I've ever had. TRUST ME on this. Call the student loan office of your preferred college or university immediately and talk to them about what you can do to cover the costs. Because you MUST do college--the sooner, the better. I'm sorry, but unless you're Trent, you're not going to get anywhere without a college degree. Don't be afraid of loans...you're going to have to deal with them all your life. Car loans, mortgages, credit card bills...get used to having them and get used to paying them off.

I know you don't have the energy. I know you feel hopeless. Because that's the depression talking to you, and I've been there more times than I care to think about. But you know what, you *can't* just give in to these impulses to lie there and feel hopeless. I have a friend who does, and believe me, his life is kind of a mess right now. It's one thing to be 18 and think, oh, I can't get a job. It's a whole other thing to be 27 and feel the same way. If you want to beat this, you have to FIGHT. You have to be tougher than everyone else. It's unfortunate that it has to be that way, but that's how it is. You have to tell those inner demons to shut the fuck up because you have shit to do. Don't tell me that you can't because I've been right where you are, and I know you can get through it.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 1:25:33 PM

When it takes all your energy just to crack your eyes open in the morning and face the fact that you're still alive and you still have to go through the motions, without breaking down and screaming for death, then tell me you know I can get through it.

When it's almost too much for you to handle, just sitting on your ass and doing nothing, then tell me you know I can get through it.

When you have panic attacks, anxiety attacks, constant fatigue, non-stop feelings of being worthless and inadequate, doubts about yourself and everything around you that you can't assuage... when you're ignored for years on end, then tell me you know I can get through it.

I appreciate your words, but no one seems to have the magic ones that will snap me out of this and make me care again.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 9, 2006 1:48:38 PM

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