[How_Dumb_Are_You_Fuckers, Part_Deux]

Well today brought a nin hotline announcement and subsequent topic posting on echoing the sound regarding the nine inch nails themed branding of the upcoming Game Shark Media Manager for PSP from Mad Catz Interactive.

In a nutshell, this application is something that you install on your PC (no Mac support mentioned) that lets you organize your media, games, files, etc., that you have on your PlayStation Portable. You know, kinda like what iTunes does for the iPod, but we’re talking about a Sony product here so of course you need a third party application to make real use of what’s a basic functionality. But I digress…

Apparently, consumers are going to be able to buy a Nine Inch Nails version of this product, which will feature prominent use of the NIN logo on the packaging, and feature some “exclusive” live footage with the device when you buy it.

Now, as the one intelligent ETS reader on those boards pointed out (his name is OsseusLabyrint; who knew??), Trent’s recently made comments about how lame Jimmy Page was for letting Cadillac use a Led Zeppelin tune in a Cadillac commercial (Trent's biting closing line was, “How much money does Led Zeppelin need?”) Well now, of course, we’ve got the NIN Branding tie in from Trenty McChange His Mind.

As much as I would love to bust into a major rant here about the utter hypocrisy of this, that some people would agree with, some disagree, and Dierdre would simply not care about because it’s not directly part of Trent’s music, I thought I’d address some of the ETSers statements/questions/concerns instead (though for the record, TRENT’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE):

1. This isn’t hypocritical of Trent at all; he did music for Quake (a/k/a Doom 2) That’s like the same thing, don’t you think, hmmmmm????

Yes, douche, he sure did. You know how that music was credited? Oh, let me check: MUSIC BY TRENT REZNOR, not Nine Inch Nails, fuckfaces! Was there a NIN logo on the packaging of the game? NO. Was it whoring out the identity of the band and using it to sell more product? NO. Would the average consumer have even KNOWN that NIN was involved with QUAKE? NO NO NO NO YOUR COCK IS SMALL NO.

So I guess it’s not the same thing, is it?

2. Sure, Trent complained about Bowie letting Microsoft use “Heroes” in an ad, but this isn’t the same thing as an Evil Corporation! Mad Catz is a homegrown, small, independent cool company!

Hey, ballsack – your frontal lobe called. It’s glad it left and it's never coming back. What Trent had said in a recent Kerrang interview was,

I constantly have to remind myself what the goal is. Should I say yes to that Microsoft commercial because I could use a new house? Or do I say no because this is something precious that would be tarnished if I did that… My feelings were hurt when I heard David Bowie's 'Heroes' on a fucking Microsoft commercial. It's like 'Why? Fuck!'"

Well maybe it’s just me, but I see NOTHING GODDAMNED WHAT SO FUCKING EVER in that quote about “Evil Big Bad Corporations” being a problem while “Fuzzy Bunny Independent Vendors” being a big thumbs up. Seems to me it was about the music being important, and not taking a paycheck if it would harm the nobility of the music. Well, when it comes to getting my Brand Spanking New PSP Complete With Nine Inch Nails Media Manager, I’m thinking the nobility of the music has been tarnished.

You may not think that, ETS readers, but that’s because you’re eating your own shit.

3. “Supporting games aint a sellout” [sic]. Trent and his crew have always been hard core gamers!

Okay, first things first. Did you read Queston #2? Are you eating your own shit? Okay good; now die.

Just because you numbskulls happen to be fans of the arena in which Reznor has decided to whore the NIN identity does not make it okay. I’m sure the 50 year old NIN fans out there would think it would be fucking AWESOME if Trent did start using his music to promote Viagra, as one of your suggested in some attempt to be “amusing”. There’s always going to be a crossover audience, jackhole, and not everybody is 14, lives with their parents, and spends all their time playing videogames. Most of us masturbate instead.

And just because Trent Fucking Reznor is a FAN of games himself does not make it alright, or “cool” for him to use the NIN logo in such a frivolous way! Hey, guess what – he drinks Beet juice! What about a NIN-branded juicer! What about a NIN-branded treadmill! Or, from the makers of Soloflex: the Happiness In Slavery Home Workout System? How’s that grab you? Sound good?

Actually, knowing you ETSers, it probably does.

Christ. I don’t even know why I’m so wired. I guess I should just sit back and be entertained by the sheer inane idiocy of the lot of you. But instead, I shall create:

How It Came To Pass
words by Gabriel

My father always said
Pregnant women
That did meth
Would have deficient children

For once that man was right

Zip, Bing, Secret Code, Smasho!
Fuck You.