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Morning addicts, no need to caffeinate.
Internet whiners, put away your hate.
For today is a very special date!

It's the anniversary of the birth of our own Iris Deflowers.
She popped out of the womb with innate Photoshop powers.
And for our entertainment, she's worked hours and hours.

Any image you need, Iris can create it.
Looking at her portfolio, even Trent would have to admit
That our genius Iris...well, she is THE SHIT.

Not only that, but she's a loyal and brilliant friend.
On her wise counsel you can always depend,
Until about 15 years from now, when Trent says the world will end.

But thoughts of doomsday we will downplay.
Iris, I hope you're having a wonderful day.
I think it's time for an online soiree!



Posted by maise in maise_bites | Permalink


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I'm not clever enough to give birthday wishes in anything other than prose. Happy birthday Iris, have a good one <3

Posted by: RainbowVomit | May 8, 2007 8:17:59 AM

Happy B-day Iris. Too many people I know are born in May. I think I'm going to go bankrupt buying gifts.

Posted by: Tessah | May 8, 2007 8:40:07 AM

Thanks Maise! I'll remain a loyal friend and confidant 'til (in Trent's future) I get thrown in the clink. Then, you know, you might want to keep highly classified material to yourself. I don't think Trent's recent exploration of European torture museums was just to be touristy. I think he may have been doing research for future endeavors. Hmm...

I love my birthday cake but I'm a little concerned about him hovering over it like that. Dierdre may have a thing for collecting Trent's hair in her mouth but I'd rather not be picking it out of my frosting when his furry ass starts shedding. And that reminds me...someone else we know will be having a birthday here shortly. Wonder who that could be?

Posted by: Iris | May 8, 2007 10:03:38 AM

Happy B-Day, Iris!

Posted by: Angelman | May 8, 2007 10:23:20 AM

Happy Birthday, I!!!!!!

And, um, why did Trent shit a cake?

Posted by: Gabriel | May 8, 2007 10:24:32 AM

Is this your personal Year Zero birthday? Is that why there are no candles on the cake?

Posted by: JR | May 8, 2007 10:25:08 AM

That's Trent? I thought that was Violater-era Dave Gahan.

Posted by: JR | May 8, 2007 10:26:38 AM

Trent shat a cake because that is what he does when he feels festive. DUH.

Posted by: maise | May 8, 2007 10:27:37 AM

"Let me take you on a trip
Gonna show you my shit
And I'll wish you happy birthday

Let my intestines do the talking
And then you can do the frosting
Gonna show you the cake in my shit."

-Trent Gahan, "Cake In My Shit", from his hit record Violated

Posted by: Gabriel | May 8, 2007 10:41:06 AM

God, I had that album on cassette back in the day.

Posted by: maise | May 8, 2007 10:44:04 AM

And who could forget, "Your own/predigested baker/Someone to eat your cake/and have it too."

The Johnny Cash cover was pretty cool as well.

Posted by: maise | May 8, 2007 10:54:26 AM

Gabriel, once again, you RULE.

Posted by: JR | May 8, 2007 11:08:04 AM

I dunno, I was thinking that it looked like he was about to shit on the cake. I'm not sure if he (or anyone) has the intestinal fortitude to evacuate an entire cake. I mean, unless he's like that guy in that Palahniuk short story "Guts".

Depending on how you look at the pic, he might just be wanking on the cake.

Posted by: RainbowVomit | May 8, 2007 11:18:09 AM

I once saw Gabriel evacuate not only a cake from his bowels, but an entire table, complete with place settings and party favors.

Currently Absorbing: The Fragile

This shit is BORING. Why does Trent hate his fans, or at the very least, want them in a coma?

Posted by: Angelman | May 8, 2007 11:26:46 AM

He's not wanking on it, Angelman; he's writing "Happy Birthday" in icing. Can't you see the little tube in his right hand?

Posted by: JR | May 8, 2007 11:31:27 AM

Rainbowvomit made the wank comment, not the Angelman.

Posted by: Angelman | May 8, 2007 11:35:49 AM

The Fragile has so much good shit on it, I don't even know where to begin. Definitely an underrated album.

It has such range...from the howling despair of "The Wretched" to the delicate beauty of "La Mer" and the "Great Below" on Left. And so much on Right is just straight up sexy-danceable-angst, "Into the Void," "Please," "The Big Comedown."

People can intellectualize all they want, but when you're really feeling like shit and want to hear something GOOD, "The Fragile" is where you need to go.

Posted by: maise | May 8, 2007 11:37:28 AM

When I'm feeling blue, Maise, I like to go to Jumbo's Clown Room on Hollywood Blvd., but that's a different story.

Posted by: Gabriel | May 8, 2007 11:42:38 AM

I love The Fragile. I think, even if I wasn't such a colossal NINfag, it would still be among my favourite albums.

I keep trying to get my boyfriend to listen to it, but he keeps telling me he's too busy or he's really not that into NIN. One day I'll get him to listen to it. One day.

(Not that I can blame him for not being into NIN. For some reason, when he was in college a couple of years ago, everyone was suddenly listening to Head Like a Hole. Not PHM, no, just Head Like a Hole. Almost exclusively. For weeks. I like the song, but christ.)

Posted by: RainbowVomit | May 8, 2007 11:54:33 AM

Maise -

"underrated" is code for "it really sucks but I'm a fan of the band so instead of saying it sucks I will just call it underrated."

There are a couple of gems on it, but for a double album it is a lot of sleep-inducing filler. I needed to listen to Scream, Dracula, Scream by Rocket from the Crypt just to get a pulse.

When I am blue I just listen to Rigor Mortis' self-titled debut album. If that doesn't work, I make Gabriel listen to it and when his soul dies, THEN I am happy!

Posted by: Angelman | May 8, 2007 11:56:51 AM

Oh Angelman, unless it RAWKS with double devil horn hands, you're not going to be happy with it. And you can deny that all you want, but we both know it's true.

What confuses me is that a while ago, you said you liked The Fragile.

Posted by: maise | May 8, 2007 11:59:33 AM

Happy Birthday Iris!
Have a great day!
Do you think there are peanuts in Trent's shit cake? I hope not. I'm allergic to nuts.
Don't tell anyone but I just purchased The Year Zero and finally got to listen to it in it's entirety. So finally I get to join the party!

Posted by: Lavender | May 8, 2007 12:03:45 PM

I appreciate The Fragile, on a technical level - I mean - the work that went in to it is impressive. And, if I am being honest if I actually just "absorb it" rather than "listen to" it is a good album. But I don't think I'll ever be in the "mood" for it.

And I don't deny the rock/devil horns thing. I mean, I am capable of liking thoughtful slower music. I could listen to Depeche Mode for a month straight and be happy. But some of the NIN vibe makes me want to time travel back to skinny, whiney trent days and beat his ass for being such a pussy. I like the new trent better, I just hope for YZ 2 he really gets after it and rocks the shit.

Posted by: Angelman | May 8, 2007 12:04:46 PM

Angelman, once again, dude, you read my mind.

Posted by: JR | May 8, 2007 12:05:59 PM

Do you think there are peanuts in Trent's shit cake? I hope not. I'm allergic to nuts.
The little pedantic tosser in the back of my head would like to point out that peanuts are not nuts.

Oh, what am I talking about? I'm the pedantic tosser.

Posted by: RainbowVomit | May 8, 2007 12:09:34 PM

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