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[-12 days BWTCEV]

Hey fuckers.

So you're probably wondering why we've been so quiet around here. Well, maybe you haven't; you've probably wondering what the fuck to make of the latest round of YEAR ZERO business, and reading Meathead's latest post and thinking of All The Funny That Could Have Been... and sadly wasn't. And hasn't been. Like, in ages. But we've covered his ass before, so let's not cover old territory.

Anyway, we've all been busy here getting things in order for the first offical Wearing These Chains European Vacation. In just 12 days, Dierdre, myself, Maise, and dear Iris will be convening in Europe, in a super secret location, to travel throughout distant lands, graffiti AIR Flags on important European monuments, and in general, get drunk on cheap beer and wine and shake our asses at totally faggy EuroDiscos.

In short, we're gonna kick it Purest Feeling-style.

As such, we've all been a bit distracted. But don't fear --- we will be reporting live from abroad, and who knows... we may even find a way to see everyone's favorite 400 lb. midget scream like a four year old on stage with his band of merry pranksters (assuming he doesn't cancel the rest of the shows like a total pussy because his wittle bittle baby voice is hurting him booFUCKINGhoo).

There is one thing I would like to draw to everyone's attention, however. Diredre, Maise, and I, would like to announce the formal addition of a new member to the WTC staff --- our very own Iris is now joining Wearing These Chains full time, and not only will this mean she will be flash random men throughout Europe as a token of her appreciation, it also means you're going to get to read more of her awesome posts and amazing artwork. So stay tuned kiddies -- you already know she's a genius one, and she's got some kick ass shit in store.

"But Gabriel," I hear you collectively ask, "Why haven't you updated the links section with a link to her About page so we can all learn more about her? What's wrong with you, you fucking lazy twat?"

And to that I can only say, Do You Really Need To Ask?

So enjoy crotchmonkeys -- A new era of WTC is about to dawn. You ain't seen shit, yet, bitches.

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink


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HUZZAH FOR IRIS!!!! -lavishes affection apon her-

Posted by: KittyKins | Mar 12, 2007 9:32:46 AM

I'm excitied.

Posted by: Rubicon | Mar 12, 2007 2:41:37 PM

Congrats on your upcoming European adventure, guys.

Posted by: hannah | Mar 12, 2007 4:38:27 PM

Big thanks going out to Maise and Dierdre. You guys are the coolest of the cool. The bee’s knees. Best thing since Ben & Jerry's. Seriously like huge thanks. Gabriel you'll get yours when you quit being such a lazy twat. Just how long am I going to have to wait on your ass anyways? Don't go pulling a Reznor on me either and tell me "soon".

As for the upcoming vacation, I've never been so super pumped about anything in my life...well maybe meeting Shirley Manson but that's a story for another day. Normally I don't agree with Gabriel when it comes to his pissing and moaning, because really does he do anything else, but this time I can say if Trent cancels our show I will hunt him down and kick. his. ass. Then of course go all fangirl and ask for his autograph. Somehow I don't think he'd be so keen to give it up after having his ass handed to him by a girl but whatever. Tuck your dicks boys and sign my litho!

For the readers, stay tuned. My first submission should be soon!

Posted by: Iris | Mar 12, 2007 4:38:46 PM

Seriously, Trent? Please take care of your throat. Because canceling our show would be like closing Wallyworld. It wouldn't be pretty, especially where Gabriel is concerned.

Posted by: maise | Mar 12, 2007 7:07:48 PM

I'm stoked for what's to come. Congrats to Iris! I hope to see some cool fan art soon!

Posted by: Heather | Mar 12, 2007 9:10:41 PM

What are you bitches talking about? Are you trying to jinx us?

And, Iris? You've been added to the roster for the following reason: YOU RULE. See you soon, bitch... IN EUROPE.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 12, 2007 10:54:14 PM

I feel so... lame.

Posted by: Hannah | Mar 13, 2007 1:34:25 PM

As you should.

Posted by: Iris | Mar 13, 2007 4:48:11 PM


Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 13, 2007 11:22:08 PM

Don't let the bitches grind you down, Hannah. If you want to send me a gnome statue, I will be happy to take pictures of it with us all throughout our travels.

Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 14, 2007 12:10:20 AM

And I'll flash my tits at it.

Posted by: Iris | Mar 14, 2007 5:37:47 AM

Perhaps we do need some kind of mascot.

Posted by: maise | Mar 14, 2007 5:38:42 AM

Might I suggest sporting a nifty pair of brand spanking new black & white sneakers?? You could spot those WHITE stripes from miles away..

Posted by: flyrabbit | Mar 14, 2007 6:26:26 AM

Jesus, those shoes are horrendous.

Posted by: maise | Mar 14, 2007 7:08:40 AM

I have shoes like that.

But they're filthy and falling apart.

I'm xxhobocorexx.

Posted by: RainbowVomit | Mar 14, 2007 9:33:02 AM

Might I suggest a 400lbs gorilla in chains?

Posted by: Iris | Mar 14, 2007 10:26:52 AM

Too bad we can't get a T-Rez action figure. ALternatively, maybe we can just buy a big rubber cock and name it "Rob Sheridan" and take it everywhere with us?

Did I just say that?

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 14, 2007 10:52:40 AM

I think you've got a winner.

Posted by: JR | Mar 14, 2007 1:55:19 PM

"Here's us with Rob in Vienna -- here's us with Rob by this bridge -- Here's Rob in my ass..."


Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 14, 2007 2:06:49 PM

The gnome would be an action figure of Aaron.

Posted by: hannah | Mar 14, 2007 2:49:38 PM


I thought a gnome would be much funnier.

Has nobody fucking seen goddamned Amelie around this joint?

Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 14, 2007 3:15:51 PM

Fine then. We can compromise...
Take a ferret with you. Name it "Dwarfy" or a gnomeish name.

Posted by: hannah | Mar 14, 2007 3:52:12 PM

If you even think of bringing a ferret I will sell it to some street vendor who will make shish kabobs out of it.

Posted by: Iris | Mar 14, 2007 4:02:50 PM

Hey that's mean! You shouldn't want to sell Gabriel!

Posted by: hannah | Mar 14, 2007 4:04:28 PM

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