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2007.02.22

[Did_You_Guys_Hear_The_Latest?]

There's been a new Year Zero leak, and I found it--that's right! ME.

I was pouring myself a bowl of Lucky Charms this morning, and out of the box falls a thumb drive! The label read "pink hearts, orange stars, yellow moons, green clovers, blue diamonds and...hyperpower!." So I put it in my computer and found two files on it. The first was the song hyperpower!, and it's definitely a big departure for Trent. It doesn't really sound like the rest of the album; it's kind of...Eurotrash techno, you know? And it's not just Trent on the vocals...I think Oscar nominee and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson has lent her powerful voice to this song.

hyperpower!

[mechanical robot-sounding voice] hyperpower!, hyperpower!, hyperpower!
[Trent, spoken] Listen up, everybody. This here is THE SHIT.
[oonce, oonce, oonce, oonce]
[Jennifer Hudson] HYYYYYYPERRRRRRRRPOWERRRRRR!!!!!!!!
[Trent] Everybody dance, dance!
This is where the music really kicks in...
[Jennifer Hudson] HYYYYYYYYYYYYYPERRRRRRRRRRPOWWWWAHHHH!
[Trent] Feel the music, rock that body, shake that thing...yeah, it's hyperpower!
[Jennifer Hudson] HYYYYYYYYYYYYPERRRRRRRRRPOWWWWAAHHHHH!
[Trent] Get on the dance floor! Sweat, people, sweat!
[Jennifer Hudson] DRIPPING SWEAT!
[Trent] It's Year Zero, time to party! Nothing to lose now--dance dance!
[Jennifer Hudson] YEAR ZERO....WHOOOOAAAHH, IT'S YEAR ZERO!
[Trent] Don't drink the water, drink my sweat! Cause I'm hot for you, hot for you!
[Jennifer Hudson] HOT FOR YOU, BABY!!!!!
[Trent, spoken] Listen up, girl. Listen to my beats. Don't be scared now. It's just my Presence. It's growing, growing.
[Jennifer Hudson] GROWING, GROWING!
[Trent, spoken] Turn off the lights now...cause we're gonna dance...between the sheets. hyperpower!
[mechanical voice, trailing off] hyperpower! hyperpower! hyper...

Okay, so that's the song.

But the other file on the thumb drive gave me this creepy little recording. I can't really figure out who it's supposed to be or what it all means, but it's these two guys who seem to be planning a terrorist attack. Here's the transcript.

[Man #1] Do we have all the ammo?
[Man #2] Check.
[Man #1] Did you pack "the juice"?
[Man #2] Yeah, but my eyes started bleeding a little.
[Man #1] Put some Visine on that shit.
[Man #2] I did, man. Fuck, it hurt.
[Man #1] Well, I told your ass to be careful. You gotta be careful with the juice. You're lucky you didn't start bleeding out your ass.
[Man #2] Well, it's inevitable, isn't it?
[Man #1] That's all part of the mission.
[pause]
[Man #1] Those stupid fucking sheep...they won't even know what hit them at the Pierogi Festival.
[Man #2] At the what?
[Man #1] The Pierogi Festival.
[Man #2] What the fuck is that? I've never heard of that. Pee...?
[Man #1] Pierogis?
[Man #2] Yeah, those things. I've never heard of them.
[Man #1] You're shitting me.
[Man #2] No, dude.
[Man #1] Pierogis are awesome. They're like...these dumpling things. You boil 'em and fry 'em...and they're filled with, like, potato or cheese or sauerkraut or even fruit.
[Man #2] Really? Fruit?
[Man #1] Yeah. I've had plum and strawberry ones before. They're really good. I can't believe you've never heard of fucking pierogis.
[Man #2] No, I totally haven't.
[Man #1] Like, all of Eastern and Central Europe eats them.
[Man #2] Are we in Eastern or Central Fucking Europe?
[Man #1] No.
[pause]
[Man #2] Before we unleash hell, can I try some of the pierogis at the festival?
[Man #1] Yeah, sure.

[static]

Then there's some Morse Code, which I really suck at, but I listened to it about 15 times and came up with this message: EAT MORE LUCKY CHARMS...THEY'RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUS.

There you have it. The newest Year Zero leak...and you heard it HERE first!

Posted by maise in maise_bites | Permalink

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Comments

Did somebody put some catnip in your Kibbles and Bits, or what, bitch?

Posted by: Gabriel | Feb 22, 2007 12:43:20 PM

Oh, and get this...when you put the song through a spectrograph, it creates this image and when you further analyze it with a stenograph, it links to this website.

Posted by: maise | Feb 22, 2007 12:53:39 PM

Maybe the morse code said: DONT TAKE SPACE CAKES FROM STRANGERS.

Posted by: Hannah | Feb 22, 2007 1:08:18 PM

Shhhh, Hannah, I'm trying to think.

Posted by: maise | Feb 22, 2007 1:54:15 PM

Hannah, are you legal yet?

Posted by: Gabriel | Feb 22, 2007 2:34:56 PM

Sorry, Gabriel. You dont make my heart burn like Aaron does.

Posted by: Hannah | Feb 22, 2007 2:44:42 PM

Honey, I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree where Aaron is concerned.

Posted by: maise | Feb 22, 2007 2:52:18 PM

Gabriel is sooooooooooo way hotter than Aaron. I've seen Gabriel's pic and Aaron's got nothing on that sexy man!

Posted by: Rebecca | Feb 22, 2007 3:46:06 PM

If you're wanting to gush about that man I might suggest another site, although it looks like they've given up there too.

Posted by: Iris | Feb 22, 2007 4:28:20 PM

HOLY SHIT TRENT! YOU WANNA WARN A GIRL BEFORE SHOWING HER THIS "PRESENCE" CLIP SHIT!?!?! I fucking squealed when that hand pops in the shot and now my co-workers suspect I may not be doing "official business".

Posted by: Iris | Feb 22, 2007 7:14:55 PM

You know what? I have no fucking clue what you people are on about. Aaron is hot, Gabriel is hot... What the fuck ever. I count two trees that are all wrong for barking up, and not one word about THE MAN WHO REALLY IS HOT, around whom this website supposedly revolves.

"Presense clip", Iris? Is there a link that should go with that? You lost me. Fucking Christ.

Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 22, 2007 9:28:14 PM

I believe Iris is referring to this?

Posted by: maise | Feb 22, 2007 10:15:07 PM

Yup. That's it Maise. Heebie jeebies man.

Posted by: Iris | Feb 23, 2007 9:59:23 AM

Get on board the YEAR ZERO train this very instant, or stop trying altogether, D.

Trust us on this. Anything else will just drive you mad.

Posted by: Gabriel | Feb 23, 2007 10:10:20 AM

Call me a dumb shit but what's this spooky video thing the teenyboppers hanging around various nin sites are talking about? Maybe I'm just an old fartass but I'm soooo not able to keep up with all this crazy whacky stuff.

Posted by: Prism | Feb 23, 2007 9:36:22 PM

Prism, I feel you. Gabriel, you fickle bitch, you better shut the fuck up. I'll get on the train at exactly the moment when it fucking stops at my station, Dig?

Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 24, 2007 2:45:10 AM

I'm out of the loop too about the video.

Posted by: Hannah | Feb 24, 2007 10:52:51 AM

Sooo glad I'm not the only one here.

Posted by: Prism | Feb 24, 2007 1:18:05 PM

How the times change, D. Didn't you used to criticize me for not accepting Trent's WITH_TEETH direction, discounting it in my yearning for the Trent of years past, and not allowing myself to be open to his new thoughts and ideas?

Well I guess the fisting glove is on the other hand now, isn't it?

ALL ABOARD! WOOT WOOT!

Posted by: Gabriel | Feb 24, 2007 1:22:17 PM

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