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[Call_&_Response_#17: Our_Top_Ten_Closure_Moments]

I have been a NIN fan for years but only recently became a happy member of the lunatic fringe, so at first I didn’t really understand why everyone kept harping on and on and on about the DVD release of Closure. I mean, every time Trent interacted with his fans, someone was nagging him about it, and as far as I could tell, it was going to be tied up indefinitely in legal limbo. Since I wasn’t going to pay money for someone’s burned-out VHS copy on Ebay, I never gave it much thought, even though as I read more about it, I became intrigued.

But now it’s out there! And presuming that you have 12 gigs of free computer space and a Dual-Layer DVD burner, you can have your own copy! I have neither. But I do have our Iris, an awesome friend who went to great lengths to copy this for me and deliver it on New Year’s. So Iris and I had a delightful New Year’s Day brunch with my husband, our friend Sam, and one of my best friends, Padraig. (It was interesting to watch Padraig’s reactions since he has always been stubbornly impervious to Trent’s charms.)

The documentary itself took a while to grow on me, due to the ultra-ADHD editing style and the fact that everyone mumbles, mumbles, mumbles. But when I say “took a while to grow on me,” I’m talking about the amount of time it takes us from the beginning of the film to when we first see Downward Spiral-era Trent in all his destructively filthy hotness breaking his back and everyone else’s to give us all a good show. I’m not as poetic as Dierdre when it comes to praising all things Trent, but holy God, could a single man be any more fucking beautiful? At the EXACT SAME TIME that he sometimes winds up looking like a total ass? He is a fallen angel with a tortured soul at a never-ending frat party.

Dierdre has asked me to list my Top 10 favorite moments in Closure (as if you could narrow it down to only 10), and I’m asking you to join in! The good news is that if you can’t get a hold of your own copy right now, YouTube has a lot of footage available.

My Top Ten is in no particular order, btw…

1. Making a cameo appearance is Lou Reed, who appears to be channeling Phil Spector with plastic-framed glasses and an enormous perm. Lou and Trent mostly mumble at each other, but I love this moment because it led to Padraig and I having this exchange:

Padraig (upon seeing Lou Reed, jokingly): Is that Trent’s mother?
Me (sarcastically): Yeah, that’s his mom.
Padraig: Well, no wonder he’s upset.

2. All of “Down In It.” This is not normally my favorite NIN song, but this is probably the most entertaining performance in all of Closure, beginning with the moment that Trent licks his lips like some sort of feral animal. He is worshipfully petted by his fans, and then he firmly grabs his leather-clad ass with both hands and sloooooowly arches his back. Come to think of it, I’ve never seen anyone revel so completely in the touching of his/her own ass. It’s genius, and it just goes to show that Trent Reznor appreciates what the Good Lord gave him. As well he should. He then proceeds to attack some equipment and tackle full-bore into his bandmates. Holy shit, if my supervisor ever fucking clotheslined me and knocked me to the ground, I would fucking walk.

3. Obviously, the most fascinating moment for me personally was the few seconds when we got to see a very real and alive Maise lovingly play tug of war with her master and chew on his really long socks. The second that fictional ghost Maise laid eyes on real, living Maise in Closure, there was a tear in the time-space continuum.

4. The clips we see of the original MOTP video. OMFG, I nearly burst a blood vessel, I was laughing so hard. Gabriel is right…it *is* really retarded! I mean, are they supposed to be in a volcano or something? With demons? What the hell? I LOVE it. It only makes me wish that we could see the aborted EDIETS video.

5. Trent singing “Get Down, Make Love” live, after which, for a reason I cannot discern, he plaintively laments, “I feel so violated. My mom is in the audience!”

6. Trent discussing the rather alarming injuries he inflicts on Robin Finck (maimed finger) and Chris Vrenna (head injury) without much remorse. “This mike stand flew,” he explains, conveniently omitting the fact that he fucking THREW it directly in the path of his drummer.

7. The behind-the-scenes look at the “Closer” video…utterly fascinating, and Trent in a gimp mask is too hilarious.

8. Mr. Lifto abusing his genitals, only because it made Padraig shriek, “AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

9. Any time that Trent staggers across the stage clutching his head melodramatically during a song. This happens multiple times.

10. Band and crew throwing all manner of objects at an inoffensive “Exit” sign in a display of clichéd cock rock idiocy. The funny part about it, though, is that Trent is victorious (“Let the wookie win.”), and he is joyously carried aloft on everyone’s shoulders as though he just shot the goal that won the World Cup. There’s even a nice freeze frame just then. Happy Trent.

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Your friend cracks me up, maise. And I'm so glad you linked to YouTube, because it turns out I don't have enough room on my poor ol' compy to download even one "disc," and even though I own it on VHS, I want to see the extra stuff. Time to get an external hard drive.

Posted by: emerald527 | Jan 5, 2007 1:14:28 PM

Oh, and pardon the spamming, but one of my favorite moments is the infamous "two guys in charge: me and me" line. And the corn starch: "I don't know why they make us do this." Who, Trent, WHO makes you do this?

Posted by: emerald527 | Jan 5, 2007 1:20:38 PM

The wookies dont get the respect they deserve.

Posted by: Hannah | Jan 5, 2007 1:57:53 PM

Maise, you rule. Man, I love Trent.

Personally, my number one favorite moment in Closure is the part when, after a long segment where we watch the boys get all dolled up in fetish gear and cornstarch to the tune of Franks Zappa's "Broken Hearts Are For Assholes", they head out into the hallway and onto the stage. On the way, Trent says the most brilliant thing that has ever come out of his mouth: "let's tuck our dicks, become women, and make a show, 'cuz that's what we call Rock 'n' Roll."

I swear to God, there's a reason that man will always have my heart.

I'm also really partial to the part when he reaches right down into his leather hotpants to give himself a good grope during "Hurt". That shit is HOTT.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 5, 2007 11:56:21 PM

I would also like to point out that in this movie, Robin Finck is really attractive in his utter freakishness.

Iris informed me that during "Get Down, Make Love," the reason Trent feels violated is that Marilyn Manson apparently makes out with him and tackles him or something. (I would feel the same way, Trent.) I couldn't really tell what was going on when I first saw this because the camera's all jumpy, and I was really sleepy when I was watching it.

Posted by: maise | Jan 6, 2007 1:16:14 AM

My favorite non-Trent moments are adding up to be:

Danny Lohner cracking the biggest fucking crocodile tear you ever did see during the intro to “Something I Can Never Have”. Seriously it makes you go “awww” and then immediately after “HAHAHAHA!” Come on man. Pull yourself together. It just makes me want to burst out into song.

Don’t cry for me Danny Lohner...

I could go on but I’ll spare you all.

Next favorite moment is in the DVD extras when Trent is talking about injuries and how Rich sometimes gets hurt. I love how before Trent can even finish his sentence about unique scarification his boy throws down the beer, drops the hawt leather jacket, and rolls up the sleeve of his cute little turtleneck to show some onstage war wound (that was no doubt caused by a bandmate body slam or something).

I've got more stuff too but it'll have to wait 'til later.

Posted by: Iris | Jan 6, 2007 12:41:41 PM

You are right about the mumbling. It took me a long time to figure out what the hell David Bowie and Trent were saying when they are sitting on the couch. I love when they all crack up at the suggestion that Danny “Brad Pitt” Lohner might be movie star material if he could only read well enough to read a script. Danny does resemble Pitt from that era.

Posted by: Chrise | Jan 7, 2007 6:42:58 PM

Now it may be a little early to start naming off the least favorite parts since some VIPs of this site have yet to comment much but... I really hate the “A Warm Place” montage of clips of the band and Trent getting geared up, playing on stage, playing behind the scenes, up time, down time, and the works. That song is just so damned sad to me. Extremely beautiful but extremely sad. The whole thing seems like some sort of weird tribute that Trent & Co are no longer with us, that he died in some unknown place at some unknown show that never happened and we’re all just trying to remember the youth and vitality that he embodied. The slow-mo stutter shot of Trent at the end of it doesn’t help put that feeling at ease.

But maybe it’s supposed to signify something else. That maybe part of Trent did die. The man we see now pretty well has all his shit together so maybe in some overanalyzed, armchair psychology bullshit way he’s saying I’m not that fucked up guy anymore and never will be again, even though timelines tell us he was worse before he was better. I don’t know. I’m probably way off track seeing as how this snippet was part of the original “Closure” (if I’m wrong on this part someone let me know) and they wouldn’t have had any idea of how things were to turn out. Or it could be that they just made this section the way they did to say “hey man, the concert’s over, time to turn off the tube”. Dunno.

What I do know and am grateful for is that the days of being violated by MM are over or at least I dearly hope so. Everyone say it with me “EWW Gross!”

Posted by: Iris | Jan 7, 2007 8:59:35 PM

And complete random sidebar...a pretty good mash up.

Posted by: Iris | Jan 7, 2007 9:03:40 PM

HOW did you read my mind??? All my fav bits from Closure as well :) especially when he describes SO innocently how that mike stand 'flew' out of his hands. heehee

Posted by: Giftedsbytch | Jan 8, 2007 5:10:38 AM

The idea of The Master of Orchestrated Angst releasing a rap record chills my spine, and not in the good way.. As denial & gradual numbness sink in, I seek solace in examining Danny Lohner's neuroses. Between pseudo-crying and flexing his tattooed limbs, among other, uh, stuff, it appears he had a very emotional time on the Self Destruct Tour.

Posted by: flyrabbit | Jan 8, 2007 6:57:56 AM

I'm not entirely sure whether it's my favorite or least favorite, but "Dance Party U.S. fucking A." was certainly something. My retinas just shut themselves off less than half way in.

Posted by: Sarcelle | Jan 9, 2007 12:23:44 PM

i dont really know if any of have checked out the nin website, but theres a new pic up of Trent, Atticus and someone else....in the studio mixing the new album or something. lol. not my fav pic!!

god! u guys are so lucky to have been able to download "Closure". i have dial-up so im sure it will take YEARS to download..*sigh* you all suck. its not fair at all. aw well, just my luck.
but anywho..are there any interesting parts w/ Trent in Closure?
and oh yea!! Trent is growing out his hair again! nin.com

Posted by: rickireznor | Jan 9, 2007 10:36:23 PM

Just found your blog today while trying to find anything Trent has had to say in any interviews about Maybe Just Once, my favorite unreleased NIN track.

Anyway, yeah, I already had the VHS Closure and was coincidentally watching it in early December while working out on the elliptical, and then it gets 'leaked' onto the ninternetz. Woo! The Appendage feature wasn't on the VHS, so that was definitely the highlight for me (as well as the making of the Closer vid, I guess.)

I thought (and I could be totally wrong here) that the bit that made Trent feel so violated was that Robin Finck had his 'member' out flinging around, and Marilyn Manson runs up, squats down, and inserts said member into his mouth for a brief second. This was mentioned in MM's 1998 autobiography and I didn't know there had been any video evidence of it. MM has had to talk this one down for years, on everything from The O'Reilly Factor on Faux News to Fresh Air on NPR.

Posted by: arclight | Jan 10, 2007 6:57:01 AM

Okay, so this isn't really on topic, but I'm a mod and get to do these things:

This story is so entertainingly icky.

Marilyn, Brian...um, Dom...what the hell? Dita was so much more in your whole...idiom. Also, you can ditch the public makeup at any time now. Seriously.

Posted by: maise | Jan 10, 2007 9:16:01 AM

I cannot believe Manson has managed to fuck shit up with Dita Von Teese. That woman is so much more beautiful and talented than a hack like him deserved. It made HIM look good that she was willing to be seen with his lame ass. Marilyn Manson's life appears to be just one long series of people giving him WAY fucking more credit than he deserves, and then finding out that he is fucking retarded. I'm sure there will always be a nubile young starlet who wants to date a scary rock star, though.

It's all so tawdry. Thank god we never have to hear about Trent and his starlet brides.

Trent, seriously: spare us that, ok?

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 10, 2007 12:01:41 PM

And Evan Rachel Wood gave that hysterical performance in that one Green Day video...

Posted by: maise | Jan 10, 2007 12:24:05 PM

I realize that this isn't the Spiral, but since it's all over ETS anyway, does anyone have any thoughts about the new album title (Year Zero)? Wikipedia, while having but a brief article on it, says it's a political concept about introducing radical policies after a military takeover and compares it to Iraq. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about an obviously political album, but I'm optimistic!

Posted by: Sarcelle | Jan 10, 2007 5:36:32 PM

You know, I can't really say til I hear it. I guess it depends on whether it rocks (as I'm confident it will) or whether it's Trent's "Kilroy Was Here" (and really, who doesn't like "Mr. Roboto?")

Does it pass the Gabriel Hate Test, is what I want to know.

Posted by: maise | Jan 10, 2007 5:49:46 PM

I didn't notice any reference that the record would be political in nature. Where did you see that? TR's blog entry said, "it could be about the end of the world." He just loves to torture us doesn't he?

Posted by: Chrise | Jan 10, 2007 8:29:26 PM

Well, what with "Year Zero" referring to the seizure of Cambodia and has been compared to Iraq, I thought it would more likely be about that (annihilation of Cambodian/Iraqi culture = figurative end of the world) than a literal Book of Revelations-style apocalypse.

Posted by: Sarcelle | Jan 11, 2007 12:53:04 PM

Interesting idea, Sarcelle. New blog entry at the Spiral –“ It's not a hip/hop record, for fuck's sake.” Eh, I didn't think it would be. Something he mentioned in an interview...I can't remember, but it was about the music and the NIN brand. If the music isn’t characteristic of NIN, he would release it under another name. I believe that was the jist. So, I can’t see him doing a hip/hop records as NIN.

Posted by: Chrise | Jan 11, 2007 5:37:13 PM

hmmmm. year zero. well, i don't like it. but that's not necessarily a bad thing. in fact, part of what i love about nin is that i usually don't like the new material at first, and only after getting acquainted with it do i get that "it couldn't have worked any other way" feel. if i like it immediately, that's a bad sign (i feel the same way about people).
with teeth was a good era, but it felt like an appetizer. it stood well enough on its own for a while, but would suffer from the prolonged solitude endured by other nin albums. i'm excited about the quick arrival of this next album (i envy trent's work ethic) - i feel that the appetizer has digested, i've had a few glasses of wine and i'm ready for something more challenging (which, from the sounds of it, is the intention for the new album). in other words, FUCKIN' EH! (i love canada (and parentheses))

Posted by: ali baba discount shoe | Jan 11, 2007 6:47:57 PM

If you're going to quote the man then quote the man.

"This is not a fucking hip hop record for fuck's sake.

It's just not the same if you take out the double profanity. FUCK! Fuckity-Fuck!

As a matter of fact his latest blog entry is downright long winded for his usual cryptic, three sentence contributions. Well fuck it. I'll go ahead and be the bean spiller this go 'round. It'll just end up popping up somewhere else anyways.

01/11/07 : that's what i get

While mixing, I spend most of my time NOT in the control room to allow myself some objectivity when it comes time to listen to the progress of a track. During that time, I'm working on the new set list, tour production, thinking about tracks that aren't being mixed yet, working on a few things NIN related I can't tell you about yet, finishing Saul's record, and occasionally checking in on you people online.

Let me clear a few things up so some of you don't kill yourselves (or maybe you now will). This is not a fucking hip hop record for fuck's sake. I imagine my referring to old Public Enemy records as an influence and the fact I'm working with Saul sparked that. To clarify what I meant by being influenced by Public Enemy: Hank Shocklee's Bomb Squad had a unique and highly influential way of constructing tracks - layers of samples and loops that combined together to form something chaotic and new. Do not expect Flavor Flav to appear here.

While we're at it, I wouldn't consider Saul's record to be labeled hip hop either. Certainly there is an influence there but his record reaches far beyond the confines of what I consider a dying genre.

As far as the sound and content of my new record, you'll see and hear soon enough. I am certain some of you will HATE it. I am also certain some of you will find it the best thing I've ever done. It is different in a number of ways and it is who I am now.
I am creating right now and I do not care what the record label or marketing people think about what I'm doing. I also do not care what the public think about what I'm doing. I certainly appreciate your patronage - and I HOPE you will get and enjoy what I'm working on, but I will not patronize you or pander to what you want. I assure you I am pouring every ounce of my life, heart and soul into this and it will be the best work I am capable of - and that's all I can do.

Current Mood: Confused
Currently Listening to: lots of whining

I am loving how he titled this latest entry. Nothing like finding uses for those pesky old song titles. Ooh, ooh I can't wait for the eminent post that tells us the "guilt free download" was all a "Terrible Lie". Worry little piggies, worry. And since when has Trent ever been worried about what music execs think? Did I miss the album remix With_Mass_Marketability? I really need to keep track of my Halos better.

Damn. That sounds kind of Gabriel-esque. Where you at Mr. Fickle Fan?

Posted by: Iris | Jan 11, 2007 8:05:04 PM

Sorry, iris -- I've been in the bathroom FUCKING BARFING ever since I read Michael Trent Carville's latest bit of blog shit.

I mean, they'll just give blogs to anybody with a keyboard these days, won't they? There should be rules, goddammit.

So, yeah, YEAR ZERO. If you add a fuck, you have YEAR FUCKING ZERO, which sounds both a) more active, and b) less like the unfilmed sequel to Strange Days.

Either way, this title SUCKS. It reeks of the kind of graphic novel shite that inspired crap like "Heroes" (if any of you like that show, you're fucking gay) and the whole Cambodian political aspect of it just makes it fucking worse.

I mean, seriously -- WE'VE ALL FUCKING SEEN CLOSURE. Does anybody think that scrawny 26-year-old midget was setting out to change the world? I don't think so.

Maybe it was TDS era Trent that wanted to change the world? Hmm... that must have been why he was a self-obsessed prick who beat down his fellow man at every possible instant, and spending the other half of his time drunk on tequila.

Maybe it was FRAGILE era Trent? Oh, but no, that was the guy busy picking out grains of cocaine out of the carpet. Hardly world-changing there.

OH YEAH -- I REMEMBER who that sounds like! It sounds like the FUCKING IDIOT who ruined "Right Where It Belongs" with pictures of Bush and slamming the war, even though it made NO fucking sense.

I hope Trent's record is good, but I think he's clearly lost his mind. 'Roids will do that.

And Flav may not be on the record, but I hear Barry Bonds guests on "That Stuff Ain't Mine".

Posted by: Gabriel | Jan 11, 2007 9:43:21 PM

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