« August 2006 | Main | October 2006 »

2006.09.22

[Absorbing: With_Teeth]

I guess we all know how *I* feel about Sparklepant's teeth, but it seems that not everyone feels the same way. Yesterday, in his usual, tiresome, drive-by fashion, that bitch Gabriel Miller probably thought he was gracing us with these comments. YAWN. Some things never change, and by "some things", I mean Gabriel's pissy bitchery. That's what comes of sexual frustration, people.

Let it be a lesson to you.

Personally, I love [With_Teeth]. I listened to that shit EVERY DAY for the better part of A YEAR, and it never stopped being awesome. I have to admit that at this point, its position in my constant playlist has given way to other things, but that's only because I'm waiting for Daddy to get home, if you know what I mean...

But, WHATEVS. This is as good a time as any to give the Teeth another spin, don't you think? The rules are as usual: do not just GO OFF HALF-COCKED, here. Give it a fresh listen, and give it your full attention, and then, post your thoughts here. At the same time, let's consider the question of why it's so damned hard to look another person in the eye and say, "No, seriously: NIN is my favorite," because, have you noticed? For those not already subject to the fucking tractor beam that is Trent Reznor's dog and pony show, it's a pretty fucking hard sell. Why do you think that is?

And, Gabriel? Why don't you go wallow in your many livejournal fansites and "deconstruct" some more NIN songs or something, instead taking a once bi-monthly dump on WTC to dress up your subjective, psychologically obvious/Oedipal assessments of Trent's records in the bullshit cloak of authoritative objectivity.

Goddamn, your act is old.

Posted by Dierdre ~ in absorbing | Permalink | Comments (105) | TrackBack

2006.09.14

[The_New_Goth_Times_Daily_Cross]

Hola, bitches and bitchettes. I was drinking some delicious coffee this morning, and I wondering how awesome I was, so I checked out my fansite, Gabriel's Whore, when I saw the latest bit of business dedicated to ME:

Crosswordgrid1

Yeah, that's right you little piggies, a fucking crossword puzzle, all about me. Sample questions?

2. Gabriel refers to the microphone Trank gave to him as _______.

and

9. Gabriel's height.

and

17. Gabriel's favorite subject after himself.

Yeah, that's fucking right -- who else has got a crossword about them? Click on the image to play and win, bitches.

And now when The Pastor refers to "Jesus hanging on his cross", we'll all know who he really means: ME.

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink | Comments (88) | TrackBack

2006.09.12

[Maise's_Gallery_of_Bad_Fan_Art: The_Home_and_Garden_Edition]

Do you guys know how much Iris fucking rocks? Iris rocks SO HARD that at her home, routine chores are performed with Trent and his art in mind.

All credit is due here to Iris's husband, x-9c@, for this landscaping masterpiece, "The_Downward_Mower."

[Yeah...that's his Christian name. What about it?]

Anyway. although our x-9c@ is only a casual listener of NIN, even he couldn't resist contributing to our bad fan art gallery. His preferred medium is, obviously, mower and grass.

Just wait til you see what happens when leaves need to be raked and snow shoveled at La Casa Iris!

The_downward_mower


Posted by maise in gallery_of_bad_fan_art | Permalink | Comments (14) | TrackBack

2006.09.09

[Your_Dirty_Old_Aunt_Maise]

It should be evident by now that I am, above all things, eternally devoted to Trent . But sometimes, y’all, I can’t help but think that, as far as canine companions and domesticated animals go, he’s pretty well moved on. There were Daisy May and Fuckchop and some weird hairless cat who might have been Fuckchop but maybe was Venus and who knows what else…maybe Trent also raises ferrets and lovebirds. And now he’s got the greyhound and is all into *rescuing* greyhounds, and truth be told, he probably doesn’t think about me all that much, since fate cruelly tore us apart too soon.

I love my Trent with a love that is pure and true—but that also is perceived as rather obscene and alarming by a lot of casual internet users. To them, all I can say is, a ghost dog has NEEDS. And maybe while Trent’s taking a much-needed vacation, just maybe it’s time that I make myself some lucky man’s best friend.

So every now and then, I’m planning to tell you about some of the people who could totally make me their bitch and for whom I would gladly sit, stay, and roll over. (But not ‘play dead’…I find that somewhat insulting under the circumstances.)

And to make things extra DRRRTY, I’m going to start off with James and Oliver Phelps.

Hott_weasley_twins

That’s right. The motherfucking Weasley twins.

Now, I know what you’re thinking… “Aaaaah, no! Make it stop! Make it stop!” It’s the fact that they’re in the Harry Potter films, isn’t it? Oh, starting with Goblet of Fire, I struggled in the movie theater, boys and girls. I felt so unspeakably shameful and perverted because I realized that, goddamn, the Weasley Twins are HOTT. But I would like to point out right now that, unlike Gabriel, my tastes are 100% legal. These fine young actors are currently 20 years old. So although I couldn’t buy them a drink in this country, if they wanted to double-team my golden ass, there is not a state in the Union that would forbid it. Well, leaving aside the issue of necrophiliac bestiality, that is.

Oh, has God made a more perfect creature than the 20-year-old man? He is not typically weighed down by life’s cares, and he is perpetually horny. I also kind of like ‘em somewhat gullible and wide-eyed at that age, but I’m sure that the Weasley Twins, in real life, are very intelligent and sensitive young men. But not too weepy, you know? I’m so not into guys who burst into tears all the time…I would never know what to do with a constantly crying man. So yeah. Naïve, cheerful—yet stoic, and HORNY…that would be my perfect 20 year old man.

Which Phelps boy is which? I have no fucking idea. Does it matter? They’re like ginger-haired Ewan McGregors in the making, and there are TWO of them! In the immortal words of all those Coors commercials, “AND TWINS!” And on top of everything, they’ve got those accents! So one of them could read me the phone book while the other one saddles up and rides me to the Valhalla that I am very familiar with. Or maybe I’d have one do the dishes and other forms of tidying up while the other one plays my favorite game, “Smack me with a rolled-up newspaper.” Because you know, I don’t think I’d really be all that into two perpetually horny young men all up on me at all hours of the day. I remember back when I myself was a 20-year-old woman, the 20-year-old man in my life kind of irritated the shit out of me that way. But time passes and hormones fluctuate, my friends, and now I’m singing a different tune. I want to spend hours brushing the longish, flaming red hair of my twin love slaves. I can’t pick just one…and I can’t really distinguish between the two…so I want to be the BITCH of both James and Oliver Phelps.

Yeah. I said it.

Posted by maise in maise_bites | Permalink | Comments (113) | TrackBack

2006.09.08

[Oh_the_Hu-Man-On-Manity!]

I justify this next post, which, technically, has NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with Trent Reznor because of how His Majesty once directed us to "Stay gay".

Plus, Gabriel is gay, so...

I think we should all watch the following video clips, because they are fucking hilarious, and, as I mentioned, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are scrumdillyumptious.

And, on that note, it's MAN-SOON SEASON!!!

Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3.

It's awesome, because it should occupy about half an hour of this horrible, dark, Trent-less day.

Enjoy!

Posted by Dierdre ~ in inside_dierdre | Permalink | Comments (11) | TrackBack

2006.09.03

[Maise's_Gallery_of_Bad_Fan_Art: Kittykins_and_Karts]

Hi everyone,

I'm so stoked that I keep getting all these kick-ass submissions to the Gallery of Bad Fan Art. All I gotta say is, keep 'em coming!!!

Our own Kittykins sent me these a couple of days ago, and I was most impressed. She tells me that she created them by painting over existing pictures of Trent in Open Canvas. They totally remind me of the animation technique of rotoscoping, and if you've seen the movies Waking Life or A Scanner Darkly, you'll know what I'm talking about. So Richard Linklater, meet Kittykins. Kittykins, Richard Linklater.

Trent1

Spikey

Meanwhile, you know how in the "First Exhibition" thread, I called for a "Mariokart Trent" picture? Well, none other than GABRIEL'S WHORE answered my call...in her own special way. I swear to God, this is the single funniest thing I've ever seen in my fucking life:

Stank_kart

And uh...kids...if you check out the Lair of the Stank these days, you might see that the Whore created a motherfucking COMMERCIAL for Gabriel. Dierdre, I recommend you not watch it if you're at all in danger of bursting a blood vessel. Ahhhh, it's nice to be l'orangerie stank's manager and have some deranged fan do all my work for me!


Posted by maise in gallery_of_bad_fan_art | Permalink | Comments (33) | TrackBack