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2006.06.20

[Inside_Dierdre: Nightmares!]

So, I don't know how many of all y'all read Buddyhead's gossip page, but the latest post, now quite old really, features this alarming description of Sparklepants's behavior at this year's Coachella as one of the so-called "highlights":

...Watching Trent Reznor completely lose his mind while Madonna played, pinch his own nipples, pull his shirt off, and wave it in a circle around his head when she broke into “Ray of Light”.

Now, I read that a long time ago, and I don't know if it's just the image of Trent, unleashing the awesome destructive power of his half-nakedness with such reckless abandon -- in public, no less, where it might be seen by some government agent, who might try to harness it and use it for evil -- or the "pinching his own nipples" thing -- which immediately calls to mind the image of Austin Powers's nemesis Fat Bastard eating chicken in bed with Felicity Shagwell -- or, if it's just the fact that we're talking about MADONNA here, who, while she was once a total fucking genius with her black Jesus, buring crosses, stigmata, and fabulous bouncy tits, now looks like a piece of beef jerky in a cheesey disco costume, and is officially all about working the bullshit retread as hard as she possibly can, but I am DISTURBED.

Seriously! Just look at the convoluted sentence I just wrote!! I don't even know if I totally fucked off the grammaticalization! And all these exclamation points!!!! GET READY FOR A LOT OF CAPS LOCK! Also, know that I am typing drunk.

Now, I know Buddyhead is all about the sarcasm and irony, and fuck them for that, even if they are hilariously obssessed with cock and epithets like "asspro." I can never get over the feeling that if Buddyhead co-founder Aaron North weren't actually trying to look all fierce, night after night, as Nine Inch Nails's guitar player du jour, Trent would be exactly the guy Buddyhead would be mocking ceaselessly, for his dead fucking serious aspirations, inexorable earnestness, and overwrought melodrama. Don't get me wrong: those fine qualities are EXACTLY WHY I LOVE TRENT SO MUCH I COULD PUKE, but it's not the kind of thing that generally gets a pass from hip, scenester bitches like the Buddyhead boys.

Whatevs.

Still, I can't help wondering: ARE THESE BITCHES FOR REAL? I can't actually imagine that our Trent really and truly got the twins out and did a striptease, but could it be that notre amour REALLY thinks Madonna is hot? Does he really like "Ray of Light"? Because fuck, man, it's been downhill for Madonna since "Express Yourself", hasn't it? All I'm saying to you, my dear readers, is this: for some reason, this is an image that just makes me shudder. It keeps me up at night and haunts my nightmares, and I don't even know why.

Maybe it's just that they said "nipples", and "Trent Reznor" in the same sentence, and that makes my brain go all haywire?

Yeah. Maybe.

Posted by Dierdre ~ in inside_dierdre | Permalink

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Comments

I think this is all about a certain guitarist projecting his feelings about a certain gay icon.

Posted by: maise | Jun 20, 2006 3:51:29 PM

Evidence
mounts like
sopping thighs
upon your dildo fanta
sea

why won't
you relent
to the biggest fist
fuck of all?

everything you l'amour is a l'ie

Posted by: Gabriel | Jun 20, 2006 5:44:42 PM

To Gabriel: A Lament
Words of Misery by Dierdre

An oedipal need
to kill that
Blooms so violently
all sense is
swept
before it is
the only
you

that re
mains,

Alas.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jun 20, 2006 9:47:01 PM

O Gabriel,
Prodigal Son.
Come back to the fu
cking fold already.

You and Trent
could share so much.
Like a love of Jesus-y
sci-fi.

Posted by: maise | Jun 20, 2006 10:13:23 PM

BURNING crosses, Dierdre. Jesus.

This post touches upon an important issue, and it's this: Trent is bitchy and sarcastic, and so are the kids he's been hanging out with, lately. Ironic appreciation is usually just the thin disguise of a true but resented love -- perhaps one that makes the lover feel all "gay" -- in my opinion. I don't know if Trent's nipples got all hard over Madonna, but I will say this: if he thinks Madonna is hot, at least she's his age, already.

Posted by: Jane | Jun 20, 2006 10:34:17 PM

Why
come
to your fold
when my words
are the lead
er?

follow my
path sweet
bitches

this is the way

Posted by: Gabriel | Jun 20, 2006 10:36:08 PM

The way to
what?
A non-fun
ctioning L'orangerie Stank
website?

Posted by: maise | Jun 20, 2006 10:38:00 PM

Strewn with the
effluvia
of countless
episodes of
self ab
use your
path is.

Yoda would
be the first to
tell you to
search your un
satiated
feelings:

You want to
fuck

Trent.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jun 20, 2006 10:43:56 PM

You run
like the film projector
24 frames a second

i am no
t
your screen

Posted by: Gabriel | Jun 20, 2006 10:57:49 PM

Gabriel,
not only are
you the screen,
but I
am the shadow
puppet that
insolently appears
before the health
class filmstrip.
Bunny ears.
Quacking duck.

Oh, and I want
to fuck Trent.
I'll just say it.

Posted by: maise | Jun 20, 2006 11:05:20 PM

Brass Tacks Regarding Trent & Gabriel
a Haiku Tryptich by Dierdre

I won't beat around
the bush: I would be only
too glad to fuck Trent.

Gabriel, you have
long stared into the abyss
of your own desire

And seen nothing but
impotent hate. Give it up,
and reclaim your soul.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jun 21, 2006 12:46:13 AM

I'm glad
you both
want to fuck Trent
we really couldn't have guessed
(that)
before now

i used to commiserate
with trank trent and trunk
and wondered who i was
in this world of piss

but then i admitted the truth
that i wasn't the little boy looking for a sense of self
to save and to serve
anymore
but was simply me

when i didn't need
the reznorpsyche
to make myself whole
i stopped listening

though the 'fuck you like an animal' song
is still cool

and you must confess
like bottled note from shore
saul williams' poe
try
sucks

Posted by: Gabriel | Jun 21, 2006 1:29:29 AM

when i didn't need
the reznorpsyche
to make myself whole
i stopped listening

Gabriel
You are like that kid
in Puff the Magic Dragon.
I always hated that
little fuc
ker.

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 7:15:43 AM

Every word you say,
Oh bitchy, desperate man-
child, confirms my ass --
erstion concerning the
tortured over
indulgence
of your
hate.

Some of us, who are un-
ashamed of our natural desires,
and who speak them freely, never
had need of the gayness
you call "Reznorpsyche"
Which
leaves us free to love
despite this Madonna thing,

or indeed,

the
posters.

We who are whole in the knowl
edge that Trent is OTHER
salute him,
and
offer him The Cup of Chains.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jun 21, 2006 8:57:21 AM

Well, I don't
know about all
this saluting and
Cup of Chains.
It makes
me
feel kinda "Medieval Times"
or Renaissance Faire.

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 9:08:40 AM

Would you like
some mead
with your
retardation?

Posted by: Gabriel | Jun 21, 2006 9:18:10 AM

I've always found
mead to be too
sweet.
Can I have some glogg
instead?

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 10:09:54 AM

The Cable Guy

Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?

Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?

Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?

Wench: Dude, I got a lot of tables.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, I've got nothing to add.

Posted by: Iris | Jun 21, 2006 10:20:21 AM

Ok, so maybe I
went too
far
with the saluting
and the cup of chains.
All I know
is
that when I hit
submit
I chortled.

I'll only add
that
Like Maise
I prefer grogg
to
mead.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jun 21, 2006 11:27:34 AM

You know,
I've always found
poe
try to be a little
intimidating.
But
apparently,
you just have to
hit
"Return"
more often.

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 11:30:15 AM

Wait,
Is "Return" only
on typewriters?
Perhaps I
have irrevocably
dated
myself.

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 11:31:13 AM

I think this quote from Buddyhead simply means Trent was mocking fags for liking Madonna.

'cuz queers rip off their shirts and pinch their nipples when they hear "Ray of Light".

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jun 21, 2006 11:55:44 AM

1. Trent Reznor showing the love for Madonna - no way in hell.

2. You guys duking it out in the style of haiku - made my day.

That is all.

Posted by: Layla | Jun 21, 2006 11:59:04 AM

Baal, I've missed you soooooooooo much!

Posted by: maise | Jun 21, 2006 12:03:23 PM

Dierdre,

I too am a little taken-aback to say the least when I hear Trent Reznor and nipples in the same line. I think it is the name. I could hear Sparklepants and nipples and not convulse so much.

Madonna, WTF? Ray of Light, WTDF? (what the double fuck) But then again the whole Courtney Love thing still has me wow-d out.

Keep writing Dierdre

Posted by: Christy | Jun 21, 2006 12:08:29 PM

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