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2006.03.30

[Pictures_of_You_#_21: The_Darkest_Hours]

Hey. It's me, Dierdre.

Remember last week when Trent, with delightful, bitchy aplomb, notified Jerome Dillon that he "looks like an asshole" in his recent publicity photos? Man, I laughed my ass off. That Trent. He sure is funny, and, yeah -- it really is a lame picture. But, I got to thinking: is Trent really the guy to cast the first stone about looking fucking ridiculous in photos?

I think not.

With that in mind, I bring you the latest in WTC photo essays: an odyssey through only a VERY SMALL SAMPLING of the millions of times notre amour himself has stumbled, photographically speaking. Yes, this is a little traipse through only a few of dear old Sparklepants's most questionable moments of self-presentation, and a little explanation as to why, despite all the jackassery, we still TOTALLY LOVE HIM.

Without further ado, I bring you:

[Sparklepants_Unchained: The_Darkest_Hours]

Enjoy, my darlings.

Love,
D.

Posted by Dierdre ~ in pictures_of_you | Permalink

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Comments

Dierdre, that was a veritable tour de force of photo essays. I was practically in convulsions trying to conceal my laughter from my coworkers. One wouldn't want them to think that I'm actually enjoying myself over here. Bravo!!!

Posted by: maise | Mar 30, 2006 6:53:10 AM

Ditto for me, Dierdre! But forget about his ass. His biceps are WAY hotter. Man's got some DEFINITION.

Posted by: Sam I Am | Mar 30, 2006 7:02:54 AM

Oh Sam would have him looking like the Venus de Milo if she got her paws on him for *a second*.

Meanwhile, "My Lonely Plea" (featured in this *genius* photo essay) is straight-up the best Trent-related haiku ever written.

Posted by: maise | Mar 30, 2006 7:11:53 AM

Dudes, you know, for me, when I'm not flayed alive by the glorious strains of his beautiful music, it's all about his teeth, his hairiness, and his thick waist. That shit is HOT.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 30, 2006 7:13:50 AM

Yes, Maise knows me well. I cannot be trusted around a man with fabulous biceps.

Posted by: Sam I Am | Mar 30, 2006 7:20:45 AM

I'm glad Dierdre made this photo essay because when I read Trent's childish dig about Jerome looking like an asshole in his pic...I had to fall out of my chair with laughter!

I could have contributed a zillion more "Trent looking like an asshole" pics..but we don't have all day to look at them now do we?

One things for certain, I'm glad we all have different tastes in men. It's good to know that bex & D. won't have to fight over the same man.

:)

Posted by: bex | Mar 30, 2006 7:36:45 AM

Awesome photo essay D. I can't help but wonder if that last picture is inspired by F. Scott Fitzgerald at all, it looks like trent is looking at the carnival, but not getting too close. Which is a theme in Absolution and Gatsby.

I could really get into it, but I have to go to class, bah.


Posted by: Nicole | Mar 30, 2006 7:43:27 AM

"Trent believed in the Gravitron, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter--tomorrow we buy our all-day wristband for $11, wait in line...And one fine summer evening - So we spin on, arms and legs stuck to the padded panels, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

Posted by: maise | Mar 30, 2006 8:09:58 AM

That, right there, will keep me smiling for the rest of the day. Thank you.

Posted by: Nicole | Mar 30, 2006 9:08:05 AM

I always love your photo essays, D! You always make me laugh and it helps make my day at work pass by a lot faster. (It also reminded me of why I just spent $112 on tickets to see sparklepants)

Oh yeah, that last shot of Trent's ass was totally hot, and it reminded me of when I saw it last month...Trent came into the crowd for "Piggy" and as he was trying to get out to go back to the stage, he fell onto the ground between the barricade and the stage and he was on his fours with his bum in the air! although it was only for a sec, I swear it made my life complete.

Nice work, D ;o)

Posted by: Kimberly | Mar 30, 2006 9:29:21 AM

Llama... *snicker*

Posted by: Kim | Mar 30, 2006 10:19:08 AM

GIANTS!

Covered in ZOMBIE JIZZ!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 30, 2006 10:55:16 AM

GIANTS!

Covered in ZOMBIE JIZZ!!!!!!!!!!


And thus Gabriel awoke from his fifth wet dream this week. It was a little inconvenient, seeing as he was in the middle of his first shift at the local Starbucks, but he decided that it was ultimately worth it. As he made his first venti half-soy caramel mocchiato, there was a lingering smile on his face...

Posted by: maise | Mar 30, 2006 11:01:37 AM

Okay, that bit about Trent looking like a crotchety old geezer who's about ready to lay some metaphorical pipe in front of a sports arena full of worshipful morons, devil horns aloft, screaming "WHOOOOO!!! NINE INCH FUCKIN' NAILS!! WHOOOOOO!!!!"

... made me howl. Seriously. My face is beet red.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Mar 30, 2006 11:09:37 AM

Baal, I've missed you so!

Posted by: maise | Mar 30, 2006 11:15:24 AM

I've missed you, too! Sorry to lurk so shamelessly. Busy at work, blah, blah, blah... you know how it is.

But I just couldn't let this genius photo essay pass without comment.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Mar 30, 2006 12:39:58 PM

totally! the photo essay made me JIZZ EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 30, 2006 2:05:37 PM

Gabriel, I'm glad you're having fun, but the jizz theme is seriously getting old.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 30, 2006 2:09:02 PM

Well then I'll practice time-honored WTC traditions then: now that it's grown old, I'll keep using it over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

Trent's hot! Jizz!

Posted by: Gabriel | Mar 30, 2006 2:24:42 PM

Oh, D. Thank you, as always, for your incisive photo essays. I'm so glad I have the night off, so I could read this and howl with laughter without fear of my coworkers rushing into my office only to find that I'm *gasp!* not doing work.

Tickets for my show go on sale this weekend. I'm buying two tickets, but I don't know who will be going with me. D., if you were in the Detroit area sometime in late June, I'd so totally give my extra ticket to you.

Posted by: emerald527 | Mar 30, 2006 5:41:36 PM

wow i missed you guys. d, you break my shit off, in the best way possible.

Posted by: Tori | Mar 30, 2006 8:33:14 PM

LO-fucking-L...

So some guy posted a thread on ETS about looking around for Trent when NIN came to his town. After hanging out at likely locations, around hotels and the like, they spotted him walking his dog and approached him, and he sounded actually quite nice, autographing all manner of things, taking a picture with them, etc. etc. His friend wants to get a tattoo made of the autograph on his forearm [insert eyeroll here], and yeah, these guys sounded a lot more assertive and intrusive than I personally would be, but it doesn't sound like Trent seemed terribly threatened by them. Like he can't bust out his black-belt tae kwon do skills, right?

So anyway, you would think that a thread about meeting Trent would garner some interest on a NIN fan site, right? Especially when it's populated by people who have to write in about *every single instance they encounter NIN or anything NIN-related in the world.* (Don't get me wrong, I happily steal all kinds of NIN news from them. It's not like the site is completely useless.) But no, no, it turns into a lot of accusations of loserdom and stalking, and then THIS...from our fan, who is cleverly named "eatyourblud."

This is really the wrong place to be calling people "jealous" because you met TR. Hundreds, maybe THOUSANDS, here have met him too, thanks to M&G's and random encounters in restaurants, etc over the years without the need to stalk him. i mean, how 90's dude... we just didn't feel the need to start threads about it and then get all shitty about some pretty good natured piss taking.

May i suggest you try posting your story on:

http://www.wearingthesechains.com

they'll be jealous as fuck and you can trade stalking tips too!

Oh yeah, because a random encounter in a restaurant, while poor Trent is trying to eat his tiramisu in peace, is SOOOO much more appropriate than approaching him on a dog-walk.

I would like to on the record as saying that if anyone has actually met Trent, then I heartily welcome any reports. I don't condone actual stalking or unnecessary disturbances of the poor guy, but I'm sure if he's not in the mood, he'll let you know.

But Christ, the audacity! People who are just as totally fucking obsessed as we are being SO blase about the prospect of meeting the object of their obsession. And then pointing fingers at us, when I think the closest the regulars here have actually come to Trent is Tori's friend who sold him a dog collar at a pet store.

Myself, I'd be a little terrified of encountering him if he somehow knew my secret identity.

And besides, Trent, Schment, I'd be all over the greyhound. Best. Dogs. Ever!

Posted by: maise | Mar 31, 2006 12:08:10 AM

Maise, you said a mouthful there. The way people on ETS throw around the word 'stalker' never ceases to amaze me. Leaving the house on the morning of your big show, saying, 'geez, I hope I meet Trent!' and then actually getting lucky because you went someplace that you thought he might be, where he was nice, friendly, and happy enough to oblige you while walking his dog, does not constitute STALKING.

And, as for us, here at WTC, COME THE FUCK ON. Is it even POSSIBLE for me to stalk Trent?? I LIVE ACROSS THE OCEAN FROM HIM, Gabriel only cares if he lives or dies when he's right in front of him wearing tight little pants, and Maise is a fucking GHOST DOG.

Jesus. People and their comfortable little notions about who they are. Hilarious.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 31, 2006 12:37:52 AM

Bex, I know I'm hittin' you late with this, but it's not a matter of you and Dierdre having different taste in men, it's that she has taste, and you don't.

Just my .02

Oh, and Bex, it's "one thing's for certain" with an apostrophe, when "thing's" is a contraction of "thing" and "is," not a plural form of the noun "thing."

Just trying to help.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 31, 2006 4:11:42 AM

Oh, and Maise and D. (and G), isn't it funny how the dumbshits at ETS are still taking WTC completely at face value? Looks like the fun's (see that apostrophe, Bex? THAT'S what I'm talkin' about) far from over on the chain yankin' front.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 31, 2006 4:17:09 AM

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