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2006.03.15

[Dear_Rob: QUIT_IT]

Dear Rob,

Just because Dierdre isn't real, don't think that I'm still not totally ready to take you outside and flog you. Here's what's on my mind today: the whole AXL ROSE thing that's been going on with the pictures posted to nin.com.

Now, I will readily admit that the last time I saw Axl Rose on a stage, I had to leave the room, because it was just too sad to see him not only go all Jacko freaky-style with the cornrows and orange tan, but also to demonstrate that he can no longer carry a tune. I agree that Guns 'n' Roses truly set the bar for how we can know that a rock band has completely jumped the shark that time they made the 45 minute music video with the full orchestra, an aircraft carrier, and Axl swimming with dolphins. That did totally suck. I also know there's the whole Robin Finck incident, and I suppose there must be something to the mythology of the vindictive tenor of Trent's spectacular break-ups with his former minions, but dude, please. STOP.

I mean, nothing tremendously negative has been "said" via your little photo-rigging in-joke, but Axl Rose used to be totally rock 'n' roll magic, and if you're going to post a picture of something as FUCKING AWESOME as Trent, on his knees, twiddling knobs for Saul Fucking Williams, is it really necessary to despoil it with some stupid photoshoppery involving Axl Rose? I mean, that whole Chinese Democracy business was kinda funny, I guess, in light of the sense in which NIN is totally not a democracy, sort of like, uh, China? But, maybe that isn't what you meant to say?

Just what ARE you trying to say, Rob? If you, or the bossman (and, frankly, I can't imagine that it's him photoshopping G'n'R mularkey into everything), have a point, then fucking make it already. If you don't, and this is all just a clever bid to generate retarded conspiracy speculation amongst the geniuses who frequent NIN message boards, then I am begging you to please STOP, because GOD KNOWS they don't need any help.

I'm sure you're sitting there at your laptop feeling totally chuffed with how fucking hilarious you are, Mr. Wizard, but please stop spluging frat juice all over pictures of my favorite artist at work. At best, it's boring; at worst, it makes Trent look petty. Seriously, give it a fucking rest.

Until next time,
Dierdre

Posted by Dierdre ~ in dear_rob | Permalink

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Comments

Okay, so I know that I am going to sound completely dense, or maybe it is because I have not analyzed the picture to an extreme extent, but what the hell is going on? What was done to the picture? I saw the Chinese Democracy in the last one, but I can't find Waldo in this one. Someone please enlighten me.

Posted by: Alana | Mar 15, 2006 6:24:13 AM

Here, Alana.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 15, 2006 7:21:03 AM

Thanks Jane. I completely agree with you Dierdre, what way to stick it to us.

Posted by: Alana | Mar 15, 2006 8:40:56 AM

Yeah, I didn't even notice that until someone on ETS pointed it out. I originally thought that some fan photoshopped it into the original image, but that *was* the original. Yep, hardy har. Sigh.

When I was in college, my very favorite class was "The History of Rock and Roll: The 60s" taught by a *genius* professor in the Music School. I kind of fell for him a little because his passion and enthusiasm were really contagious. Anyhoo, he was telling us all one day that he met Axl Rose somewhere and that Axl was all up in arms because everyone thinks of John Mellencamp as "the Hoosier rocker." Axl, who is from West Lafayette, I do believe, kept insisting, "I'm a Hoosier rocker! I'm a goddamn Hoosier rocker!" That story is kinda funny, kinda sad.

Posted by: maise | Mar 15, 2006 10:08:24 AM

you know maybe i find trents fingers just a little too intriguing cause i didnt realize it until 2 minutes ago when i went and checked it for sure.
hoenstly. someone needs to get laid or SOMETHING cause they obviously have too much time on thier hands.
i wish trent would kick that skinny punk- you know he is mutating intoa mini me of trent more and more with each picture i see- anyways i wish beefy mcreznor would just do something about him.
axl rose is so ugly. *shutter*

Posted by: Tori | Mar 15, 2006 9:13:25 PM

Tori, there's no denying that Trent's fingers are fascinating.

Off topic, but can someone stop this from being the awesomest thing ever? You Tube is a fucking godsend.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 16, 2006 8:14:43 AM

Especially the bit where he's in the car with the suspenders and that fucking necklace, glibly discussing how he's been fucked over more than ever before, and how the only energy he's ever been able to really draw on is "the negative, the hate, and the anger."

Plus, best quote ever from Trent Reznor: "Someone has definitely spilled the bong in this car."

Oh yeah, baby. Pure comedy gold.

Oh, and, BTW? The performance is TO DIE.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 16, 2006 8:16:57 AM

Damn, damn, damn my work computer won't run YouTube stuff, which means I have to wait til I get home to watch this! And it's only 10:43!

Posted by: maise | Mar 16, 2006 8:43:06 AM

Oh Maise. I pity you. Seriously.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 16, 2006 8:47:56 AM

in that you tube video, i just want to make him some soup. tomato. with ritz crackers. he just seems to need someone to take care of him. like a puppy. if trent reznor were a dog, hed be adorable.

Posted by: Jane C. | Mar 16, 2006 9:46:02 AM

Whatever, Jane C. What he really needs in that video is a smack upside the head, and someone to tell him to SNAP OUT OF IT.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 16, 2006 10:36:45 AM

Okay, YouTube is officially the second-greatest website in the world (trailing only behind this one, that is).

Where does one even begin with that Lollapalooza '91 gem?

First of all, for all of Trent's well-publicized bisexuality, one need look no further than those GODAWFUL suspenders to know that in his heart, he is totally a straight boy. Not to stereotypically connect homosexuality with fashion sense, but GODDAMN. I highly doubt he pulled those off in 91.

Second, hell yes, he needed a smack upside the head. "Notre amour" was just a tad insufferable back in the day. Oh the hate and the rage! The completely *unconvincing* way that he says, "I'm more miserable now than I ever was." He was so angry, he had to randomly kick a wall backstage! But he did have a sort of fresh and eager puppy dog look about him...

The whole thing totally made my day.

Posted by: maise | Mar 16, 2006 8:43:49 PM

Right Maise? Almost the most hilarious part is the girl, off camera, who is interviewing him, and her dutiful "uh huh" after he glibly tells her he's more miserable than ever, now that he's a big success. I love the way he looks like he's reading his PR script, like an arrogant little fuckhead, and he knows that all she can do is QUOTE HIM.

He is cute, and his performance is sheer heaven, like always, but I agree -- he needs to be smacked into next week.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 16, 2006 10:47:57 PM

I just like how the girl giggles at the end. You know she was hooked in my the TR charm. Hey, did you of you guys search for "Trent Reznor" specifically on youtube.com? There are some great interviews. And if you search for "NIN Live" there is a video of Trent being interviewed by a news station. FYI.

Posted by: Alana | Mar 17, 2006 6:54:20 AM

Oh yeah, no doubt the girl is ready to eat him up, and he knows it, too. You can totally tell by the way he's breaking out all his boyish charm on that bong water thing.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 17, 2006 7:01:25 AM

Yeah, but you can't blame her. I would be all over it and on it too.

Posted by: Alana | Mar 17, 2006 8:05:43 AM

I'd fucking smack his bitch ass.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 17, 2006 11:08:29 AM

It annoys me to realize that even though he was the smuggest ass in the world in that video, I probably still would have done him.

Oh, and of all the things that went wrong with his clothes and his spiky hair in that video, his eyebrows never betrayed him.

Posted by: maise | Mar 17, 2006 12:08:33 PM

I could not agree with you more Maise.

Posted by: Alana | Mar 17, 2006 12:39:42 PM

Amen on the eyebrows. Those babies have been working OVERTIME since gradeschool.

Good raw material, people.

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 17, 2006 3:37:39 PM

A Haiku For Trent, circa 1991
by Dierdre

You might have been full
of total shit, but even
then, who could resist?

But, Seriously Dude: A Caveat
by Dierdre

I would have crack'd you
one for that thing about your
misery. Lame!

Posted by: Dierdre | Mar 18, 2006 6:06:02 AM

Well, D, it looks like your theory that Trent is above Rob's retarded reindeer games is TOTALLY WRONG. This just in:

[03_18_2006]
Well, I lost the bet to Rob... I was SURE you people would have found the secret in the 3_16_06 picture INSTANTLY. You've all let me down.


10:03pm_PST

I got bored searching the picture for clues, but the geniuses on ETS seem to think that the crowd is photoshopped in, and that Buckethead and Gary Numan are in it.

Y A W N.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 18, 2006 11:42:48 PM

Well, if the crowd is photoshopped in, it doesn't include the people who were on the left stage seats. Because I'm there, and so is my friend Jon... and we exist and were there! Now that it's mentioned, though, a few of the people on the right of the picture near the equipment look photoshopped in there.

The guys must really be bored off their asses if they're making a game out of sticking things in pictures and waiting for people to notice.

Posted by: Kim | Mar 19, 2006 12:11:50 AM

Buckethead it is.

Buckethead once recorded a pretty cool record with Viggo Mortensen -- it's called Pandemoniumfromamerica. It's a little wanky, but I still liked it.

Posted by: Jane | Mar 19, 2006 12:27:51 AM

Yeah... I saw that near the equipment, like I was talking about hah.

Posted by: Kim | Mar 19, 2006 12:34:31 AM

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