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2006.02.22

[NIN_Libs_#_1: UPDATED]

This just in from beloved WTC reader Maise!

Here are the rules: pick one blank to fill in until all are accounted for.  First come, first served (Unless everyone uses the word "penis"...then we'll make an executive decision to ignore their phallic obsession).

1) Song title
2) Body part
3) Noun
4) Expletive
5) NIN Song title
6) Food
7) Food
8) Food
9) Female celebrity
10) Noun
11) Liquid
12) Noun
13) Celebrity
14) Body part
15) Disease
16) Pasta
17) Liquid
18) Menial job
19) Celebrity
20) Expletive
21) Possible NIN album title
22) Noun
23) Adjective

All 23 items are in! Here's the [NIN_Lib]:

While singing (1) “Copacabana” one night, Trent was hit in the (2) biceps by a (3) poodle. (4) “Fuck or cunt!!!” he said, “That’s it! I quit! I’m tired of pouring my heart out to drunken cretins…it’s time to pursue my one, true passion—food!” And with that, Trent decided to pour all his time, money, and energy to open (5) Physical (You’re So) Café. The house specialties included raw (6) gummy bears, sauteed (7) pumpkin pie, and chocolate-covered (8) range-free water foul.

Trent’s first mistake was hiring (9) Winona Ryder as the hostess. She had a habit of misplacing customers’ (10) hand sanitizer and spilling (11) tequila on the (12) altoids of important restaurant critics. Perhaps Aaron North was not the best choice as a waiter. His enthusiasm for the job led to him kicking (13) Scott Speedman in the (14) epidermis. Trent wasn’t sure what ingredients sous chef Jeordie White was putting into his “special sauce,” but invariably, three weeks after eating at (5) Physical (You’re So) Café, all diners contracted (15) vaginitis. At least Alessandro could be counted on to cook up (16) tortellini with (17) Captain Morgan sauce (al dente, of course). Josh Freese wasn’t quite satisfied with his stint as busboy, dishwasher and (18) pedicurist. He noticed that the position had a high turnover rate.

After performing the Heimlich maneuver on (19) Brad Pitt with messy results, Trent said, (20) “Asshat!!! That’s it! I quit! Back to music for me!” Fortunately, the trauma and stress of the experience gave him lots of material he could draw upon for his next album, (21) “Dissonance” Hit singles from the album included “Head Like a (22) Cup of Coffee” and “(23) Fierce (With Salmonella).”

So, there you have it, NIN fans!

Posted by Dierdre ~ in wtc_guest_contributions | Permalink

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Comments

Ooh, look what just happened to pop up when I stopped by!

Okay, folks, when it's all said and done, this will culiminate in about 30 seconds of "Ha!" So don't overthink this, please.

Oh, and Dierdre and I reserve the right to be NIN-lib tyrants. We don't *have* to accept patently offensive suggestions or "balls, balls, balls, balls." I'm certain that we won't abuse this authority, but if you don't like it, suck it.

Posted by: maise | Feb 22, 2006 1:16:43 PM

Amen, Maise. We are FASCISTS!

Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 22, 2006 1:18:25 PM

I think the expletive should be Trent's favorite: fuck. Either fuck, or cunt. He seems to like cunt, too.

So, I guess my submission is for #4.

Fuck, or cunt.

Posted by: Jane | Feb 22, 2006 1:20:54 PM

21) Dissonance. Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that rumor.

Posted by: emerald527 | Feb 22, 2006 1:24:15 PM

18) Pedicurist.

Is that menial enough?

Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 22, 2006 1:40:06 PM

15. Vaginitis.


sorry. it'll probably apply, though.

Posted by: greatbigfatbitch | Feb 22, 2006 9:31:08 PM

5. Physical (You're So)

Posted by: Iris | Feb 23, 2006 5:50:20 AM

11) Tequila

Posted by: | Feb 23, 2006 5:59:57 AM

I don't think we need a poll to know who OBVIOUSLY has the best ass in rock, but go vote for Trent anyway, ok?

Thanks, Meathead.

Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 23, 2006 6:06:10 AM

6) Gummy Bears

Posted by: Monkey13 | Feb 23, 2006 6:29:57 AM

9.) Female celebrity: Wynona Ryder

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Feb 23, 2006 6:35:57 AM

LOL, I just voted for trent's buns!
LOL!
(goes and hides embarrassed now).

Posted by: bex | Feb 23, 2006 7:46:57 AM

3.) Noun: poodle

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Feb 23, 2006 7:50:48 AM

1) Copacabana
2) Biceps

Posted by: Sam I Am | Feb 23, 2006 8:20:15 AM

Exxxxxcellent. As with all Mad-libs, we are constantly straddling the line between "really funny" and "predictably lame," but we'll see how it all shakes out in the end. Keep 'em coming!

Posted by: maise | Feb 23, 2006 8:27:17 AM

1) Like I Love You, by Justin Timberlake

Do NOT dis Justin.

Posted by: Jane | Feb 23, 2006 9:04:48 AM

Oh! Sorry. I didn't see that #1 was taken. I'm on to #3.

3) an altoid

Posted by: Jane | Feb 23, 2006 9:18:43 AM

Well, it appears we already have a #1, Jane. And don't dis the Manilow!

Somebody give me a fucking noun. Or another fucking expletive.

Posted by: maise | Feb 23, 2006 9:19:37 AM

Baal beat you to it, it seems...

Posted by: maise | Feb 23, 2006 9:20:44 AM

FUCK!

7) Pumpkin Pie

Posted by: Jane | Feb 23, 2006 9:24:14 AM

8.) Food: Range-free water foul

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Feb 23, 2006 10:13:45 AM

christ people! I want to read this completed nin-lib. Get your submissions in!

10.) Noun: hand sanitizer

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Feb 23, 2006 1:43:41 PM

As for expletives, since there's two blanks, so use "fuck" for one and "cunt" for the other. Whichever makes the most sense, I will leave to your discretion.

Nouns are tough. How about "cup of coffee"?

Posted by: emerald527 | Feb 23, 2006 1:46:37 PM

This is just too amusing.

EDGE BUNS OF STEEL: Which Edge artist has the best ass?
7.62% - AMY LEE of Evanescence
2.55% - MELISSA AUF DE MAUR
6.96% - KATIE B of JAKALOPE
2.88% - EMILY HAYNES of Metric
2.39% - DAVE GROHL
74.35% - TRENT REZNOR
1.11% - DALLAS GREEN
2.14% - OTHER

He does have a nice ass, though. So I'm not surprised, heh.

Posted by: Kim | Feb 23, 2006 1:50:50 PM

No, I totally want a *separate* expletive. I mean, Christ, how hard is it to curse?

I suppose "cup of coffee" will fill space 22.

Posted by: maise | Feb 23, 2006 2:26:33 PM

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