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2006.02.19
[Reflections_On_NIN.com]
Goddamn, people! Have you ever noticed how thoroughly we are Trent Reznor's little trained bitches? I mean, I'm not complaining here, because, as all of you know, if Trent Reznor wants to "train" me and make me his bitch, I am SO IN, but I think it's a good idea for us all to take a long, hard look at where we stand, because we are totally his little, obedient minions.
I'm going to skip over the topic of how he's been leading the audience in a whole Bon Jovi-style clapping experience during "March of the Pigs", because that topic has been fully documented and totally nailed by our highly esteemed cranky little bitch-face, Gabriel Miller. If our collective willingness to go along with retarded arena-rock clapping in the middle of a song about how much our fearless leader disdains us is not ample evidence for how completely we are his little piggies, then I don't know what is, because that shit is GAY, and I don't mean that in the cool, Aaron North sense; I mean that in the "OMG, I love Trent Reznor SO FUCKING MUCH I could literally DIE" kind of way, and let's admit it: that is GAY.
But, like I said, let's forget the clapping. Let's pretend it never happened, and that Trent is not TOTALLY MAKING FUN OF US. I want to talk to you for a minute about all the thrills currently taking place on the Nine Inch Nails Official Interbot Headquarters. Now, it's not new news to anyone that the Nine Inch Nails website is a slapdash affair. I mean, I like the little wires/digital decay theme as much as the next girl, but, aside from the way you can watch those breathtakingly brilliant performances from the "Still" sessions in the VISUALS section, and now that the ACCESS page is only for paying customers and will no longer contain droll little curiosities like Trent solving word problems, all work shown, I think we can all agree that there's very little reason to visit Uncle Trent at his webhole, because at nin.com, EVERYDAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME.
Well, NO MORE, piggies!
Now, everyday, on the splash page, there is a new blurry photo taken from a moving bus of wherever the fuck in B.F.E. the boyz are today with a NIN logo slapped over it, and in recent days, there seem to be a lots of new photos in the CURRENT section with pictures of things like Alessandro Cortini's emo haircut, or Aaron North flying. All I'm saying is, if it's not a picture of Trent, WHO CARES? But, back to the splash page: I know Gabriel thinks they stole the cool idea of taking pictures of shit like, say, the bottom of your grody bathroom sink to make a web banner from him, but WHATEVS. I say that by discussing it at all, we are really just scrambling to wolf down the scraps our master tosses us, via his number one flunkie, Rob Sheridan.
Now, being that I am such an obedient little bitch for Trent, regarding this picture:
Can I just say how adorable it is that Trent's new dog, his rescued retired racing greyhound, is wearing a coat?
TRENT REZNOR is a man whose DOG WEARS A COAT.
Posted by Dierdre ~ in inside_dierdre | Permalink
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OMG, don't make me laugh so hard when I've got one of my 12-hour headaches.
There's got to be some unifying theory behind the progression of his dog breeds, beyond the fact that they are getting skinnier. (I don't know where he'd go from there because greyhounds are essentially the Kate Mosses of dogs.) Perhaps something he's not even aware of.
What makes a guy go from golden retriever to Weimaraner to greyhound?
It's not based on his physical appearance because obviously, Trent would better match a rottweiler at this point. I'd piss myself from laughing if we had a picture of him glaring at us in a muscle shirt while standing next to a rottweiler. Ow...my head!
I love that his bony little dog is wearing a coat. It's fucking cold in the Midwest right now! (It's been 7 degrees F where I'm sitting all weekend.) I am reminded of when I visited the Tibetan cultural center at my old college, which was founded by the Dalai Lama's brother or similar. Our tour guide noted that you'd have it pretty good if you were reincarnated as one of the Dalai Lama's brother's dogs. Similarly, I think you could do worse than to be reincarnated as one of Trent Reznor's dogs.
Although he needs to be careful on the road because I've read that greyhounds are...uh...fond of chasing cars. We don't want a Tragic Santa's Little Helper or whatever the dog is called.
All right, back to bed, although seriously I've slept pretty much all of Sunday.
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 1:03:12 AM
It really is endearing how he loves his dogs, and I can't blame him. Dogs are the dearest, most pure-hearted creatures.
I know his PETA thing has its detractors, and I agree that PETA is a bit of an extreme organization, but the fact that animals that are, or were, someone's beloved companion are treated so horribly is truly disgusting, and since I don't think we can really call upon Trent to solve or vocally stand against ALL the world's problems, I think it's lovely and genuine of him to choose to champion that very specific cause. It's clear that Trent has looked into the eyes of a animal that loved him with every molecule in it's sweet, wiggly little body, like only a dog can, and truly FELT it.
I mean, even in his craziest days, this love of his dogs made you feel that he had to have a soft heart under it all the volume and rage. That, and the way he carried on and freaking on about his broken heart at top, hysterical volume.
Aw. Trent. We love him.
Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 20, 2006 3:07:54 AM
I always wondered what sort of person put a dog in a coat. Now i know.
And as regards the Peta thing (i don't think they're extreme, i happen to think they're pretty cool) I just hope Trent takes part in one of their adverts, you know the ones 'i'd rather go naked than wear fur' That would be soooooooo cool.
Posted by: Mel | Feb 20, 2006 6:12:07 AM
I wish he had a Chihuahua. That would rule.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 20, 2006 6:33:48 AM
No, maximum Trent-dog comedy would be attained if he had three fluffy, yappy Pomeranians. Or a Pekingese that's just as moody as he is.
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 6:59:13 AM
This just in from spurned former NIN drummerboy, Jerome Dillon, he of the lame, gimmicky end-of-the-word capitalization:
ATTENTION EVERYONE: we need your support...in response to decisions rendered by the record company, we ask anyone and
everyone interested in attending nearLY live performances to please write to
this address. (nearlylive@jeromedillon.net) we especially encourage those of you
that were going to travel to l.a. from far-off, distant lands...........the
performance budget for the shows in april has mysteriously gone missing (due to
corporate re-structuring) and the band is heartbroken. please spread the word so
that 'the powers that be' know that you give a fuck about this band and the
future of our record : reminder. thank you very much and we will see you soon.
jerome.
So, start writing those e-mails, Jerome fans.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 20, 2006 7:45:43 AM
Will he do weddings and bar mitzvahs? Just kidding! Just kiddiNG! ;)
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 8:35:35 AM
Maise, you are hilarioUS.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 20, 2006 10:01:04 AM
Marilyn Manson's wedding pictures can be found here, and I must say they make him look rather endearing.
I demand commentary from Dom, particularly along the lines of "Trent Reznor doesn't have the balls to pick out the perfect napkin holders for like 200 people."
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 12:53:32 PM
If I were Dom, I'd just drop a whole "Trent Reznor doesn't have the balls to get married" bomb.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 20, 2006 1:13:39 PM
I'm starting to think that Dom doesn't have the balls to accuse Trent of not having balls.
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 1:38:49 PM
Maybe Dom doesn't have balls?
Man, that Dita Von Teese is HOT. She is way prettier than Marilyn Manson deserves. I hope that ugly motherfucker is counting his blessings right now.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 20, 2006 1:43:15 PM
I've got it! Dom is Stephen Colbert. I mean, who else goes on about the presence or lack of balls more than Mr. "It's French, bitch" Colbert?
Apologies to those of you who have never seen "The Colbert Report" (pronounced "cole-bear re-pore").
And yes, this is a thinly veiled attempt to steer the conversation away from all things marriage-related. I dunno why, but the very mention of it gives me the jibblies right now.
Posted by: emerald527 | Feb 20, 2006 2:56:55 PM
Dita von Teese makes me reconsider my Kinsey number. God, she is purty. Of course, I could never be the clotheshorse she is — nor would I want to be — but that sorta why I'm so happy she exists. (Wonder when she last wore a pair of plain ol' jeans?) And I agree they both look very charming and happy — good for them.
It also goes without saying that greyhounds in coats RULE. I like the rotating pics on the NIN.com front page so much better than the boringness it replaced.
Posted by: C | Feb 20, 2006 6:30:19 PM
I love Dita and her old-school burlesque. If MM has a functioning brain cell left in his head, he will do precisely whatever she wants for the next 50 years.
And I do like the rotating front pages. Why, that picture of the greyhound was actually quite nice-looking.
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 8:21:54 PM
Oh, and Em? Marriage is not for the faint of heart, that's for goddamn sure. It's exactly like being in a dating relationship, only you're about 9,000,000 times more vulnerable. It is very rewarding, in that "what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger" kind of way.
And it's nice when you find a spouse who cooks really well.
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 8:26:22 PM
I always feel lame mining from ETS, but this is breaking news, folks:
Some a-hole in the crowd as Trent was singing Hurt, threw a f***ing lighter at him and hit him in the lip. No one knew what was going on, b/c he just threw down the keyboard in the middle and walked off stage! No one in the crowd where I was on the floor knew what was going on. Then my brother ran into someone up front and they told him what happened. Crowd members beat the crap out of the guy who did it and security got him. I'm just very p.o.ed b/c that definitely wasn't the last song and we missed out on the rest of a f***ing awesome concert. I don't belong to the official fan club so I--as I'm sure everyone at the concert in Grand Rapids, MI--can apologize for the imbecile, who I really hope got a sound beating. We just don't want Trent and the band to be so pissed that they never come back here.
WTF?!
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 10:21:40 PM
Shit, I can't even come up with a decent haiku to address this situation. A thrown lighter could result in a chipped tooth or burned lip, and that idea is just upsetting. There are also reports (in the thread linked to above) that he was hit with a cup of ice too.
Ugh. Am utterly appalled.
Anyone here happen to go to this one?
Posted by: maise | Feb 20, 2006 11:01:29 PM
Fuckers. I think what's really appalling is the lack of respect for him AS A HUMAN BEING. I mean, what is he? an animal in the zoo? Would you throw shit at anyone else, in any situation? He has every right to be pissed off, and I'm sure he's probably pretty sick of the whole touring thing by now, too.
That's CRAP.
Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 20, 2006 11:41:51 PM
Wow, clapping, a new dog, Trent's balls, where do I begin?
****************************
Hi guys, sorry I haven't stopped by lately, but as Jane posted earlier, all hell has broken loose for Jerome. I literally gave up my entire weekend, as did many to help him. No sooner had I started making my arrangements for LA did this happen! An entire group of us where online almost the entire weekend submitting requests for help everywhere we could think of that made sense, and even in some places that didn't! If I get one more friend requests from a drummer at myspace, I'm going to pull my hair out! Between that and the guys that wanted to constantly flirt when I'm trying to do my work asking for help...shesh..I felt as if I needed to be disinfected by the end of the weekend! And no! J. from Australia, I won't pass you a piece of cheese with my lips! Now write that email for me instead!
My guess is that things will work out for Jerome, but the music business is not an easy thing, so might take some effort on his part...but I do believe somehow the concerts will happen. Maybe he should consider moving from LA to NYC, as his music is more suited for Gothem than sunny LA. Is cold music..not warm...NYC would be the perfect place for it. Maybe I should run that suggestion past him???
Anyhow, anyone that gave a hand over the weekend either emailing, or spreading the word, etc., I think it's pretty obvious that Jerome really appreciates it.
I'll keep everyone posted on how things turn out.
******************************
Now, back to Trent...once again, I would like to request that the clapping stop! I love the new doggy! And I'm sure Trent has balls!
:)
Posted by: bex | Feb 21, 2006 6:12:42 AM
Write those e-mails for Jerome, people... and Bex, keep us updated, ok?
Posted by: Dierdre | Feb 21, 2006 6:23:33 AM
thanks. D., will do!
Posted by: bex | Feb 21, 2006 6:34:03 AM
Bex, since you're so tight with Mr. Dillon, can you get him to explain that fucking "-LY"?
I mean, WTF?
Posted by: Jane | Feb 21, 2006 7:18:12 AM
Oh, and BTW, it's GOTHAM, not GothEM.
Posted by: Jane | Feb 21, 2006 7:21:51 AM
There's my JANE! Hey girl, whaasssup?
:)
btw, JD did the LY to make everyone wonder, why the LY?
:)
Posted by: bex | Feb 21, 2006 7:33:21 AM
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