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2006.01.09

[Pictures_of_You_#_18: The_WTC_Mailbag_Edition]

My friends, you would not believe some of the brilliant shit that comes my way via WTC mail, but this week, I got two little gems, pictures of notre amour that are just TOO GOOD not to share with you.

The first one comes by way of reader Genesis Durden, from Mexico. It's this picture of Sparklepants shopping for strappy black sandals with the help of a very queeny salesperson (or Jim Rose, whatevs), arms akimbo:

Shoewhore

Who knew our man was such a shoe whore? I'm going to just pretend he's shopping to assuage his secret fetish for ladies' footwear. Please don't anyone type anything into our comment window that might shatter my dreamworld. I'd rather Trent were a pervy cross-dresser than embrace any other option as to why he might purchase ladies footwear.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, ladies, am I right?

This next one freaking rules, because you know you know how I feel about Trent's teeth, right? Well, a week or so ago, I received a charming e-mail from a young man whose father was Trent's dentist back when he was rocking The Perfect Moustache in New Orleans. Apparently, my correspondent's father performed (expert) prosthedontic work on Trent, Chris Vrenna, and Charlie Clouser, including the repair of a one of Sparklepants's front teeth that was badly chipped in a violent encounter with a microphone (HOTT!).

"I thought you might be interested," said he, "since you seem to like Trent's teeth."

Uh... YEAH. All I'm saying is that someone's dad is my hero, because those teeth are NUMBER ONE, baby. Apparently, Trent was "extremely nice, and even joked around" when visiting the dentist. More than I can manage at the dentist, I'll tell you what. Moreover, Mrs. Dentist ran into Trent in Walmart, buying video games, and the whole family attended a party chez Trent for the preservation of houses in the Garden District.

Here's a picture of Count Trentula in an apparently not so rare appearance in the light of day... AT THE DENTIST:

Dentaltrent_1

I love the photographs of TEETH on the wall, his surgically sculpted facial topiary, and the pirate headdress with earrings. Nice.

That's all for today's WTC mailbag, kids. If anyone out there has any other pictures I simply MUST see, please feel free to shoot 'em on over.

Love,
Dierdre

Posted by Dierdre ~ in pictures_of_you | Permalink

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Comments

First of all, "Perfect Drug Facial Hair" Trent is my FAVORITE Trent. Secondly, the fact that he's going for some "Errol Flynn pirate" look at the same time is TOO FUCKING HOT. I can't even stand it.

[maise dies]

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 10:37:43 AM

Can you believe he was actually galavanting off to the DENTIST looking that sexy?

Trent's lucky I'm not his dentist, that's all I can tell you.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 10:45:24 AM

Oh my god, I just had this weird flashback to Captain Blood.

BLOOD!

BLOOD!!

BLOOD!!!

Posted by: Jane | Jan 9, 2006 10:48:53 AM

Errol Flynn? More like an East Los Angeles O.G. Vato!

And... I don't think Trent is being helped by a "queeny salesperson". He is full-on drag shoe shopping with fucking JOHN WATERS!

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 10:51:08 AM

There's no going back to that artfully pointy goatee with the tan, muscles, and crewcut, I'm afraid.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 10:52:14 AM

Trent: Do you think these heels will pop out my calves too much?

John: Honey, please! The higher you can lift that tight nancy of yours off the ground, the better off you'll be.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 10:56:23 AM

You are so right, Baal. Trent is so G-A-Y.

Maise, you also are right. Those days are over. Can you imagine how insane he would look with that moustache nowadays?

Despite all that, can I just add that I love his bulky waist in the pic with him and John Waters. You gotta know that shit is HOTT when he's nekkid.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 10:57:06 AM

I love that he looks so deadly serious in the John Waters pic as well.

I would love it if Trent were an executive transvestite. Sign me up for a Trent-Eddie Izzard threesome, stat!

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:00:29 AM

Are we *sure* that's John Waters? I mean, it looks exactly like him, but WTF?

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:01:30 AM

6/21/2005 -- A Day In The Life
A Haiku by Jane

I like the little
white handbag he's got under
his arm. What a fairy.

...ok, so not quite a haiku. Sue me.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 9, 2006 11:04:48 AM

I'm sure Trent has worn panties under his vinyl trousers before. Rawr! Just the thought of his hairy, savage three inches straining against the delicate, girlie, lace bordered fabric is enough to make me swoon like fashionable 19th century Czech girl at a Liszt recital.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 11:06:02 AM

I just sprayed chicken soup all over my laptop. Damn you to hell, Baal.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 11:07:22 AM

A Question for Trent, a Haiku by maise

Dentists can be so
anal about flossing. Do
they lecture you too?

I Hate it When..., a Haiku by maise

Dental hygienists
stab my gums with sharp tools and
scold me for bleeding.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:33:12 AM

maise, I wonder if Trent flosses?... his ASS!

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 11:42:31 AM

Courtney Love is an Unreliable Narrator, a Haiku to Baal by maise

I'm sure that Trent is
packing more than three inches
in girlie skivvies.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:44:31 AM

I mean, he must wear a G-String under those tight sparklepants. Right? He wouldn't risk a panty line.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 11:44:53 AM

maise, I was JUST thinking along those lines. I find it unfortunate that the "three inch" allegation is taking such root. I think Trent needs to post a three quarter erect cock shot on nin.com to debunk all rumors.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 11:46:31 AM

Do you guys think Trent wears a THONG? Guys, can you imagine if it were riding up over the waist of his pants?

Eeeuuuerrrhhgghgghggghhhhhh.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 9, 2006 11:47:05 AM

Quandary, a Haiku by maise

I should be working,
but I am contemplating
ass-flossing instead.

My Conclusion, a Haiku by maise

Ass-flossing is most
likely superfluous, but
in Trent's case, who knows?

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:51:20 AM

Personally, my theory is...

C O M M A N D O.

Ohmygodijustcame.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 11:52:41 AM

My Preference, a Haiku by maise

I'm all for boxers.
Thongs and tighty-whities leave
this girl unaroused.

Posted by: maise | Jan 9, 2006 11:53:50 AM

Sorry to rain on your parade, kids, but it's not John Waters. It's Jim Rose, actually -- check your "Closures"; you know it to be true.

Posted by: Gabriel | Jan 9, 2006 11:53:53 AM

Maise, I can't believe you'd take boxers over NOTHING AT ALL coming between Trent and his Sparklepants.

Oh, God.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 9, 2006 11:55:29 AM

Oh, and if were ever wondering just how LAME the G.I. Reznor look is, here we have simple proof:

Even FAT PIRATE Trent is cooler/sexier/whatever. (Though is it any suprise that he rocks that look?)

C'mon, chant with me now:

LOSE THAT BULK!

LOSE THAT BULK!

LOSE THAT BULK!

Posted by: Gabriel | Jan 9, 2006 11:55:46 AM

Saints alive, Gabriel!! You giddy fuck. I wasn't serious. It just LOOKS like Waters. I thought the shoe shopping made it funny.

Fuck off.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 9, 2006 11:56:24 AM

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