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Dear Trent,

Well, it was a whirlwind holiday for me in the City of Angels -- more aptly named than ever, now that you live there.

Probably you and I were within mere miles of each other at some points during my visit, and sometimes I really wish I were more of an actual stalker. I mean, even Gabriel met you that one time, when you wrote "Hey Gabriel! Trent Reznor" on his Natural Born Killers poster. I refused to stand in that line, because standing in line for autographs raunches me to my very soul, and I hated that fucking movie. I mean, as delightful as your musical selections were for that piece of shit film, I really think Oliver Stone deserves ZERO ENCOURAGEMENT. Unfortunately, my decision to abstain from lining up on that occasion meant that I missed the time when you graced those assembled with the silvery-black man-blouse, long, raven tresses, hoop earrings, uneven tan and a general, overall impression of clamminess. I know for a fact that despite so much ill-advised self-presentation, I would have been entirely conquered, but goddamn, would I have had a good laugh in the afterglow. Had I the benefit of today's 20/20 hindsight then, I would have been ALL OVER IT.

Shit, man. Sometimes the jealousy just eats me alive.

Anyway, this trip to LA was a brief respite from the way your very existence usually burns a hole right through my fucking psyche, just by virtue of the way 10 days is just not enough to make up for 8 months of absence from friends and family, and I didn't have two spare minutes to rub together the entire time. As a result, I forgot to dedicate myself to finding you so that you could fall madly in love with me at first sight, and I just didn't have time to camp out in your bushes. I'm sorry about that. I'm sure you missed me desperately.

I'm back in Paris, now. I had a night flight back to The Continent. I love the part, on the transatlantic night flight, when they turn off the lights in the cabin and there's nothing to do but be en route, listening to the rumble of jet engines, suspended in that nothingness one feels so keenly looking out the window of an airplane over dark ocean. Finally on my own again, diving back into the life I've chosen, I fired up the iPod to listen to that voice that's always inside my head -- the ludicrous familiarity of the one I can always count on to comfort, challenge, and inspire me -- to hear you ask the million-dollar question: "Why do you get all the love in the world?" As I've said before, baby, I'm not sure I do, but you do, and deservedly so. Why? Leaning against the cool of the airplane window, I couldn't decide if it was the unexpected surfeit of soulfulness in your piano, the way your voice is always chock-loaded with the sound of a man in fascinating process, or the fact that sweet fucking Christ, you are the sexiest thing ever devised to torture a girl by holding everything she's ever wanted at an impossible distance, and then totally flaunting it, but Trent? You've got all my love.

In other news, I went into ye olde Hudson News bookshop in LAX in search of some airplane reading before boarding, and waiting for me there, like it was destiny or something, was a copy of the now Ninternet famous Ursula LeGuin novel, The Lathe of Heaven, which I consumed in record time between LA and New York.  Very, very interesting, baby. You are so fascinating! Did I mention that I love you? Yeah. I really do.

I hope your holiday was restful and perfect, Trent. I couldn't possibly be more certain that your best days and work are ahead of you, and I can't wait to see what you dream up in 2006.

Fare forward, Sparklepants!


Posted by Dierdre ~ in dear_trent | Permalink


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Dierdre, I'm so with you on HATE, HATE, HATING Natural Born Killers. It's one of my husband's favorite movies, but I find it to be absolutely nausea-inducing. Pretty good soundtrack, but at what cost? Oliver Stone screaming at the top of his lungs, "Look how QUIRKY and EDGY I am! I out-Lynch Lynch! I'm more out there than Gilliam, and look--I even include non sequitur animation! I will claim to deplore horrific violence in the media while at the same time be a media purveyor of horrific violence!"

Count. Me. Out. God, what a shitty movie.

Also, waiting in line for autographs is a painful experience. If it's someone I really like, I always turn into Ralphie from A Christmas Story when he meets Santa. "Football? What's a football?"

Posted by: maise | Jan 4, 2006 7:05:17 AM

Le Guin is my favorite writer on EARTH!!! Since way before I knew of Herr Reznor even. You should read Left Hand of Darkness. That shit will settle down into your soul and live with you for years. Lathe is pretty good, but LHoD and The Disposessed are masterpieces.

"Word up" on Oliver Stone. What a fucknut!

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 4, 2006 9:07:16 AM

um... that's Dispossessed.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 4, 2006 9:08:21 AM

Isn't Oliver Stone working on some 9/11 movie? UGH.

Posted by: maise | Jan 4, 2006 9:41:47 AM

Seriously: Oliver Stone is the world's most heinous hack. I fucking hate that guy's movies. Every one of them is delivered to theaters with a box of anvils to drop on the audience's heads at key moments.

Remember when shit was actually SPELLED OUT IN LIGHT on Mickie and Mallory's chests? FUCK YOU, OLIVER.

Baal, I am all over looking for that Left Hand of Darkness business. I really enjoyed Lathe of Heaven, and I think I found the source for the whole repeating concept of things being "right where [they] belong."

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 4, 2006 9:46:50 AM

I'm glad to find so much consensus here regarding Oliver Stone. That guy can suck my hog.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 4, 2006 9:58:10 AM

And not to get political or way too off-track, but who's up for a 9/11 blockbuster? Not me. Seeing it on TV *for real* was enough for me.

I must say I'm not familiar with Le Guin...I like science fiction in general but haven't read so much of it. Right now I'm into grim biographies.

Posted by: maise | Jan 4, 2006 10:06:07 AM


"Also, waiting in line for autographs is a painful experience. If it's someone I really like, I always turn into Ralphie from A Christmas Story when he meets Santa. "Football? What's a football?"



I hate when that happens.

On Stone, I agree, he creates shit for the sheeple to consume. I hate most things in American Pop Culture (gag).

Posted by: bex | Jan 4, 2006 10:31:46 AM

Can I just add that I love the word "lathe"? Beautifully, that title is taken from a passage from Chuang Tzu:

Those whom Heaven helps we call the Sons of Heaven. Those who would by learning attain to this seek for what they cannot learn. Those who would by effort attain to this, attempt what effort can never effect. Those who aim by reasoning to reach it reason where reasoning has no place. To know to stop where they cannot arrive by means of knowledge is the highest attainment. Those who cannot do this will be destroyed on the lathe of Heaven.

The other most beautiful bit of genius quoted by Le Guin in The Lathe of Heaven, this time from H.G. Wells's A Modern Utopia is this bit:

Nothing endures, nothing is precise and certain (exept the mind of the pedant), perfection is the mere repudiation of that ineluctable marginal inexactitude which is the mysterious inmost quality of Being.

Fucking brilliant. I know this is probably just me projecting, but I love imagining Trent reading things like this, and organizing things in his own mind -- abstract ideas and narratives with his own intuitions, feelings, and intelligence. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in that brain!

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 4, 2006 10:37:55 AM

Quoth Bex:

I hate most things in American Pop Culture (gag).

That is fucking RETARDED, Bex. There is so much that is downright fascinating in "American Pop Culture". Film and popular music is produced in massive quantity and diversity in America, and I think it's arguable that they are the two most vital art forms in the world today. If you care about Art at all, then "American Pop Culture" is an indespensible wealth of interesting material.

Snobbery and knee-jerk intellectual posturing is SO FUCKING BORING. Pass me the Justin Timberlake.

Posted by: Jane | Jan 4, 2006 10:45:25 AM

Ok, one more quote from The Lathe of Heaven, this time from the story itself, by Ursula Le Guin:

He was aware that in thus relegating to irreality a major portion of the only reality, the only existence, that he in fact did have, he was running exactly the same risk the insane mind runs; the loss of the sense of free will. He knew that in so far as one denies what is, one is possessed by what is not, the compulsions, the fantasies, the terrors that flock to fill the void.

Resonant, no?

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 4, 2006 10:59:39 AM

I'm telling you, that woman is a fucking genius. You MUST read Left Hand of Darkness, which posits a world in which every individual has the potential to express fully functional male-ness or female-ness in any given sexual cycle. No sentimental drivel included!

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 4, 2006 11:38:46 AM

Okay Jane, let me specify....MAINSTREAM American Pop culture. I agree there are some great things that come from the US from great people, unfortunately, those are not the primary things/people the media, etc wish to give attention to.

Does that make sense?

Posted by: bex | Jan 4, 2006 11:50:55 AM

Just ignore her bex, dear. She's just angry and pinched up today because she can't find her "Trent Tickler" in its usual nightstand drawer.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Jan 4, 2006 1:54:58 PM

Thanks for mentioning Le Guin. I just realized my Lathe Of Heaven is... very late.

Wonder how big a fee I've collected. Hmm.

... Oops. The library still has my old address, too. Heh. The lezbian couple that's renting my old house, they're gonna be confused when they get a "YOUR BOOK IS LATE" notice.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 4, 2006 2:02:17 PM

And why the fuck did I use a Z in lesbian?


Posted by: Kim | Jan 4, 2006 2:03:12 PM

You did it as an unconscious coolness thing. Nowadays it’s so accepted to be a lesbian but it reads as more risqué if you are a lezbian. *scoff* Who the fuck knows.

Posted by: Iris | Jan 4, 2006 2:35:35 PM


I dunno, for some reason that cracked me up.

lezbian sounds waayy hotter than lesbian anyway.

Posted by: Nicole | Jan 4, 2006 4:36:46 PM

Haha. :D


Posted by: Kim | Jan 4, 2006 4:52:22 PM

Wow, they all sound painful to me. I guess I'd go with the tragus. Please don't do that thing where one gets one's earlobe all stretched out. That gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Posted by: maise | Jan 4, 2006 8:17:52 PM

Well Kim I can personally say the tragus isn't that bad. At least you don't notice the swelling that much. I've gotten tragus done on both sides. I think of the nine holes I’ve had put in myself the industrial hurt the worst. And it wasn't the piercing that hurt so badly (although I was pretty wussy about it) but it was the healing part that sucked. I couldn't sleep on that side of my face for like 3 months. The set that has actually been the easiest for me, from piercing to healing, are my nipples which coincidently are the most recent. I guess by now I've toughened up some to needles. Whatever you do make sure you know a bit about your piercer first. You don’t want to end up with some fucked up hole in your body cause it’s like their third time doing it or something. Just remember breathe deep and it only hurts for a minute. :)

Posted by: Iris | Jan 4, 2006 9:16:51 PM

Hmmm...nine holes. I sound like a friggin' golf course! *snickers*

Posted by: Iris | Jan 4, 2006 9:20:08 PM

Baal, I searched all day yesterday for a copy of The Left Hand of Darkness here in Paris, IN VAIN. Since we have totally established that you are not allowed to send me a TV, I think you know what you must do.


Kim, I vote no on piercings, but that's just me. Gabriel is a huge supporter.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jan 4, 2006 10:36:52 PM

lol... well I already have an eyebrow ring and labret, so this will be my third piercing. I think I'm gonna go with a tragus. If I have enough money, I might even get a tragus AND industrial. That would be interesting.

Posted by: Kim | Jan 4, 2006 10:40:30 PM

The only type of piercing I really can't support is tongue-piercing...could you imagine if that got infected? Horrifying!

And I certainly wouldn't be into needles coming at my genitalia, but you know, whatever floats people's respective boats.

Posted by: maise | Jan 4, 2006 10:45:08 PM

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