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2005.10.27
[Head_Like_A_Whore]
Guess what readers? You're all a bunch of fucking genetic throwback monkey motherfucking lemmings that just don't goddamned understand anything and I'm fucking sick of it!
I just got off the phone with your precious little princess Dierdre FUCKING Keating. You know her, the one that gushes on and on and MOTHERFUCKING ON about Trent all the time? That's been dating some French douchbag, who doesn't approve of who she really is and how she really feels about things and wants her to change if he's going to be with her? The one that I've been saying "Break Up With" since day one, but you all in your sickening girly fanclub pillowfight bullshit have been supporting her on? Telling her to take her time, find her inner happiness, and saying you wish you could go to her wedding when it happened?
I don't remember which one of your crazy hormonal bitches came out with that one, but seriously: Why Don't You Stick Your Finger Down My Throat And Make Me Goddamned Puke On Your Sausage-Smelling Digits while you're at it.
So yeah, so Mz. Keating just called me, fucking crying and hysterical from Paris. I'm in the middle of my advanced graphic design class and I get her infamous weeping and hiccupping on the line. Fucking SWELL.
Turns out she and her Froggy Fuck boyfriend were supposed to go out dancing tonight. Though she never as much as two-stepped in all the years I knew her, she just loves dancing now, and they were celebrating -- get this -- the fact that they'd moved up their wedding date from Christmas to November 12th. WHY? Because she "was feeling unsettled and pressured and wanted it over with."
Okay. Like that makes ANY FUCKING SENSE. Maybe if she's stressed out, she shouldn't be making the decision in the first place? But I guess that would make emotional sense, so we can't bother with that concept.
Anyway, Michel -- ever-constant douche that he is -- decided he just wanted to stay home and "ruminate". (Or apparently the French word for "ruminate", whatever the hell that is). I guess he wanted to ruminate on what a cock he is, so Dierdre and her friend Lenore went out dancing themselves, and I say good for her. As she should.
Only she saw a guy there. And this is where I cross a BIG FUCKING LINE, but I'm sick of this bullshit, and it's time for the Tough Love Intervention folks, alright? She went dancing, and there was some guy that -- quite simply -- had a stare that "stung her like Trent's glare". Not her exact words -- add a lot of fucking sniffles in there, and her shouting at some random passerby in some Frenglish bastard language -- but that's about it. And she was allured by this guy. And she made out with this young Trent-gazer.
So there it is. Dierdre's dick of a fiance blew her off on a night they were supposed to celebrate their impending marriage and she made out with some other dude.
So I'm going to tell you here, Dierdre, what I told you on the phone, and I hope to God the readers will support me for once: THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU. You admitted to me yourself tonight that you don't love Michel! So why in the name of sweet fuck would you get so defensive when I tell you as much?
You can tell me off all you want, but this is a BAD THING. Going back to Michel tonight was NOT the right call to make -- and it is NOT going to make you any happier!
Please, D. I've known you for years. You're my best fucking friend, you crazy miserable bitch. So why would you turn your back on me, and all of the other things we've shared, and our friends (when's the last time you called Alex back, hmmm?), to be with this guy that you admit does not understand you?
I don't know what to say... Just please listen, for once in your stubborn fucking life, will you? LISTEN. What you did tonight is not the problem. Trent Reznor is not the problem. Not WTC, me, or even the enigmatic "..." are the problem.
The problem is Michel.
Wake up, hon. To quote Trent Reznor, "Please".
And if you refuse, if you decide to go down this path, and ignore the sense and care the rest of us are trying to throw your way, then Fuck You.
Fuck You To Hell.
Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink
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Holy FUCK!
shit, I'm drunk and reading this shit...
I'd say something, but more than likely it would be picked apart & destroyed by some cunt faced mother fucker, so I'm keeping my mouth shut; except to say HOLY FUCK!
:|
I'll talk to you guys tomorrow when I'm more coherent.
Posted by: bex | Oct 27, 2005 6:10:29 PM
"Guess what readers? You're all a bunch of fucking genetic throwback monkey motherfucking lemmings that just don't goddamned understand anything and I'm fucking sick of it!
It's kinda hard to understand anything when no one's talking, so I take some offense.
Posted by: Kim | Oct 27, 2005 6:25:41 PM
Oh, but thank you for clarifying.
Dierdre, dump Michel. If what Gabe's ranting about is all true, you don't need him.
Posted by: Kim | Oct 27, 2005 6:27:03 PM
^ Heartily agreed. Dump the Frog if he's gonna be like this.
Posted by: Enid | Oct 27, 2005 8:35:24 PM
"his eyes stung her like trent reznor's"
loolllolloloolll!!!11!!111!1
Posted by: Mr.Malm | Oct 27, 2005 8:42:43 PM
OMG, is that you?
Posted by: Enid | Oct 27, 2005 9:28:32 PM
Mr. Malm, don't you have some checks to write?
Gabby Gabs, do you really think that "the Internets" is the best place to have this conversation when about 95% of your readers are of the "OMG lolz get a life!" variety?
Dierdre, I am an old married lady. And I've been clubbing in Europe. I loved clubbing in Europe, and I don't normally like dancing. You know why? Because European men will take some goddamn initiative, that's why. And they're usually smoking hot, and they don't dress like fucking frat boys. I never get hit on in the States. That could have something to do with the fact that I'm not the prettiest girl in the world or the fact that I'm married to a really buff guy who has been issued a lot of weaponry in his line of work. But in Europe, I get swarmed...or I got swarmed, rather, long ago when I was a swinging single in London. And I really cherish those memories because a) it was a lot of fun even though my chaste, goody-goody ass didn't get any--sorry, drunken young Eric Idle lookalike! Sorry, Italian hottie whose name I have forgotten and your even hotter French friend, Nicholas! Sorry, hottie Brit who talked to me like he actually wanted to be a boyfriend and didn't once impudently grab my ass like the rest of them! (I had a boyfriend at the time.) and b)I enjoyed being single when I was young...and not ready to be married.
Am I suggesting that you might not be ready to be married? I don't know. I barely know you, and that's a call that only you can make. But I can tell you that marriage is certainly not something you want to "get over with." Not the beginning part! The beginning part is lovely! All the wedding plans and the hot newlywed sex. Then you kind of evolve into a comfortable middle stage, cozy pet names and shared hobbies and friends and perhaps TV watching and earlier bedtimes. Then you have to either constantly re-engage yourself in the relationship or you start facing rocky times. It's very hard work--harder than ANYONE ever told me. Or maybe my mom did try to tell me, and I wouldn't believe her. And now I'm telling you that it's fucking hard, and I'm fully anticipating that you won't believe me.
If you want the opinion of an armchair psychologist, I would say that maybe the Great Unrequited Love nags at you a bit in an unpleasant way, the way Great Unrequited Loves do. I've had my share. Maybe you just want some requiting...there's nothing wrong with that! Some affection, some mutual adoration, some sex! Maybe you want to submit yourself to the one who requites first...perhaps out of some fear. And that's fine, but you DON'T have to MARRY this guy. Date around! Have fun! Make out with hot Trent lookalikes in Europe, for the love of God! For me...I need some kind of fucking vicarious living.
What, you're like 22 or 23? You *really* aren't required to write yourself off completely like this. There is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with making out with a hot guy who catches your eye. But there is a problem if you're engaged and hurting the fiance and torturing yourself and him and all that.
You can do with that what you want. I imagine you're going to want to take some time to shout at Gabriel, which he richly deserves. But I encourage you to think about it...you have plenty of TIME. Don't rush things. Because I'll tell you, it would be a LOT harder and infinitely more painful to get un-married as opposed to un-engaged.
Posted by: maise | Oct 27, 2005 9:42:17 PM
I know you don't want my support, Gabriel, and I don't want to blow my own horn or anything, but I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FROM DAY FUCKING ONE OF THIS BULLSHIT.
Oh, and Bex, don't be such a drama queen.
Posted by: Jane | Oct 27, 2005 11:50:13 PM
Oh I was hoping gabriel did a "head like a ho (cheesyword)" version of the original.
(sing like it was the chorus of hlah)
cry like a whore
when your ass is sore
fuck gab-riel
and marry Michel!!
Theres you grammy winner.
Posted by: Mr.Malm | Oct 27, 2005 11:57:00 PM
This is a perfect justification of why people should live together before they get married. You find out their quirks, they find out yours, you compare likes/dislikes, and then you find out if you're truly meant to be together "forever" before the sex gets boring.
I don't know if the sex is boring for Dierdre (but hell the guy is 40something and his sexual peak has long passed over the horizon), but obviously something is missing. So I say good for you Dierdre. Get all the shit out of your system now. Reevaluate your options. Don't do something that deep down you know isn't right.
Of course, Dierdre may feel that Trent has ruined her for any future relationships, and reached out to Anonymous Dude simply because of the Reznor Stare. If anything, your love of Trent, D, has prepared you for what you want in the real world. You obviously need someone who is intense, sensitive, quiet, artistic, and not afraid to be who they are. Sure, Michel may have a couple of these qualities, but it's obviously not enough to make a go of it. You are too young to settle for second best, never mind third or fourth. Hell, I'M too young to settle for second best and I have a few good years on all y'all.
Listen to your friend Gabriel (oh fuck I think that's twice this month I've agreed with Gabriel. Shoot me, please.), and, to take an acronym from Dan Savage, DTMFA.
One last thing to you, Dierdre. (I had typed this out and hit "post" but the comment got lost somewhere, so I'm going to try to remember what I said.) No matter what anyone else tells you, remember to live your life for yourself. If you feel that it's the right decision to stay with the geezer, then it doesn't matter what any of us say. But just remember - life is too short for regrets. Think of everything as a learning experience. And sometimes the painful decision is the one that's best. But only you, Ms. Keating, know what's best for your life. Do what is right for you, and not what you think you "should" do or what would hurt everyone else the least. Don't stay with Michel just because you're afraid of what's going to happen if you don't leave. It's not always better with the devil you know. And then, you're not really living your life for you, are you? You're living his life, doing what he wants. And you'll end up just like a Stepford Wife. Take the plunge - don't be afraid. People are too afraid of liberation and freedom because they don't fucking know what to do with it. But I think you do. And I think you know that you do, too.
Posted by: Buttercup | Oct 28, 2005 6:13:02 AM
Now that I'm sober , I'll chime in.
As a twice married person (that's right folks, 2 fucking times), I've got to agree with what's being said.
I'll be turning 35 next week, so I, like BC, have a few years on most of you.
The bottom line about marriage is that it's no fucking picnic.
You best evaluate what you want your life to be like, and make your decisions based on what's going to make you happy.
Please don't sacrifice yourself trying to please someone else. I promise you'll end up loathing that person, then yourself for being stupid.
Marriage is such a huge deal that if you have any doubts, at least, postpone it.
It's too fucking easy to get in, and once you're there, it can be hard to get out of.
Please take care of yourself and make decisions that you know in your heart will be best for you.
I know that you'll fully read this from all of us and get pissed, and probably won't listen. Speaking from experience, I wish I'd payed a lot more attention from folks giving me advice who had more experience than me at the time. If only we could be born with wisdom and not have to fucking earn it the hard way.
hugs D.
Posted by: bex | Oct 28, 2005 6:45:36 AM
You know Dierdre the only reason I keep coming back here is to check up on you. You remind me a lot of me when I was young except maybe you are a little more romantic about things. I pretty much agree with everything that everyone has said here.....I think that maybe you're too young to make that kind of commitment. Your fiance maybe hearing some kind of clocks ticking and wants to get married before he's ready to be put in a home but that doesn't mean that you're running on the same clock. Especially if you're only 22 or 23. When I was 22 or 23, I was ON TOUR! Either with the bands or just for myself.....that was my time to see the world and experience everything I wanted to try out. I had no thoughts of getting married in those days (I still had a few notches to make on my bedpost, if you know what I mean) and I think maybe you should take it easy too. You've got a looooong time to be ready---not me though...pretty soon it will be time to put me in a home!
Posted by: Been There Done That | Oct 28, 2005 7:00:05 AM
It is wrong to be French!
Posted by: frameleader | Oct 28, 2005 7:14:42 AM
Salut tout le monde! I have returned. And just in time, too. Cher frameleader, va chier, toi! I am French (ok French-Canadian) and you English are just jaloux of la vie romantique that we live.
Oh, ma pauvre Dierdre. You are developing the ways of the French. To have a petit fantasy fling is not too bad. Boys are meant to be kissed and kissed often. You should not feel bad and you should not destroy your beautiful relationship avec Michel simply over a little kiss. It is destiny for you to be together, and together you shall stay. I have faith that you will survive this little hiccup, which in the grand scheme of things, will mean rien a vous deux.
*kiss kiss*
Posted by: Mimi | Oct 28, 2005 7:36:45 AM
I have totally, totally, totally missed the Frenglish on this board. Welcome back, Mimi!
Posted by: maise | Oct 28, 2005 8:04:58 AM
Dierdre, what's up? Are you pregnant? Is that it?
Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Oct 28, 2005 8:14:50 AM
Salut ma belle maise! You were missing to me very much as well!
But qu'est-ce que c'est? Ma cherie is pregnant? Oh no. I think she has the fantasy for the hazel-eyed stare, as we all do on this forum. If a boy with hazel eyes gave me the look of notre amour, I would have to baise lui encore et encore puis encore une fois encore.
Posted by: Mimi | Oct 28, 2005 8:47:33 AM
Okay, Dierdre -- I've checked the fucking logs. I know you're reading this. RESPOND. DO SOMETHING.
And tell that fucker to stop answering the phone everytime I try to call your place -- if he starts talking shit to me one more time instead of giving you the phone I will fly there myself and rip his fucking head off.
CALL ME.
Posted by: Gabriel | Oct 28, 2005 10:07:07 AM
You are all filth.
It was fun watching Meathead rip your asses and hand them to you.
Seems to me you are all a bunch of losers that never grew out of the "so goth I'm dead" phase when they got out of high school.
I mean, he has got you on the erotic letters. Come on now. And you say ETS is bad. Or theninhotline.com for that matter. You guys have that kind of shit on this website.
Not to mention Gaybriel. Come now. I think the angelic names thing is a little worn out. That shit is for 13 year olds parading around in spiked belts and chokers.
Well, I guess that's probably a pretty valid description.
Posted by: Trent Reznor | Oct 28, 2005 11:17:57 AM
Oh Jesus, Trent. I took you for WAY more clever than that. "Gaybriel"?
Please.
Posted by: Jane | Oct 28, 2005 11:21:11 AM
I love it when "Trent" makes a guest appearance on this board!
Okay, well, I am "filth." You got me there. As for the rest of it, I've been grossly mischaracterized, and I want the record set straight. I was never goth in high school. You remember that SNL sketch "Goth Talk?" And how the one Goth guy made some sort of vampire movie in the park? I was more like the frisbee player in the background. I do love a good game of frisbee. Just don't get hit in the head with one. That shit can really hurt!
(I forgot who it was who took me to task for making glib statements about "goths" or "pseudo-goths"...don't get me wrong, I love the goths. I was just always a little too goofy to be one.)
Posted by: maise | Oct 28, 2005 12:00:27 PM
"trent reznor" wrote:
Not to mention Gaybriel. Come now. I think the angelic names thing is a little worn out. That shit is for 13 year olds parading around in spiked belts and chokers.
You're right! We should be more adult! Like running around with shiny pants at 40 screaming how god owes us great big apologies!
Didn't know you guys were playing in Kentucky tonight, "trent".
Also glad you hated us enough to read for more than 45 minutes, you Deliverance halfbreed. Now suck my dick.
Posted by: Gabriel | Oct 28, 2005 12:22:23 PM
Fuck, people, stop usurping my name! I'm going to sue the next person that uses my name as a pseudonym.
And please, Dierdre, don't cry over me. I'm not worth it. I'm sure you're a cool person, but don't torture yourself like this. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to tell you.
Posted by: trent_reznor | Oct 28, 2005 12:37:18 PM
Jesus, "trent". When will it fucking end?
Posted by: Jane | Oct 28, 2005 12:46:06 PM
Err. Yeah. What Jane said.
Posted by: Kim | Oct 28, 2005 12:50:53 PM
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