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2005.10.24

[Are_You_There,_Trent? It's_Me,_God]

Well we all saw it yesterday, the mighty words from Fearless Leader:

[10_23_2005]
FUCK HURRICANES!
ENOUGH AREADY.
6:29pm_PST

Then, moments later:

[10_23_2005]
FUCK HURRICANES!
SO WHAT IF I CAN'T TYPE? TYPING'S FOR HOMOS ANYWAY!
6:29pm_PST

One thing is abundantly clear -- with the cancellation of the Ft. Lauderdale Nine Inch Nails show at the hands of Hurricane Wilma, Michael T. is getting a little frustrated.

And who can blame him -- I mean, the guy's had his drummer almost die -- twice. He had to get friggin Nikka Costa's drummer to fil in... there's been cancellations, venues only selling out at half-capacity... spirits are so low, the band has even taken to mocking their own fans to keep spirits up.

What's a former reigning King of Gothy Doom supposed to do?

Well normally, I would say Come With Gabriel To The Bauhaus Show This Weekend, but unfortunately Trent's going to be "raising money for a good cause" by "helping his fellow man" and "using his posturing for charity to get some extra choice nookie" at the Voodoo Festival on the 29th, so that's gonna be a no go. So instead of distracting himself, I think Trent's gotta face facts here. All these tour-related problems aren't just random coincidence, Trent.

Somebody's trying to tell you something. And I think you know what His name is.

I know you tried hard, to be the powerful rock demon... you wanted to rock the sparklepants off your minions -- and hey, dude; you have. Right on. Good for you. High Five. But at the same time, things never seemed this difficult before did they? When you broke open Chris Vrenna's skull, you guys cancelled what, one show? Robin Finck practically cut his finger off. Once again; a single cancellation. For fuck's sake; Richard Patrck was in the band for years and I don't think that ever resulted in any rescheduled shows. Sometimes the tide's just not with you, my man, and you can't force it.

But that's okay. So come on, Mike. Give up the arena rock touring already. That's what God is telling you.

Now you may be saying, "I pray every night, Gabriel -- my statue of Jesus hasn't spoken to me and told me to quit With_Teeth_Live_2005, or to call off the pending With_Cancellations_2006". But that's why God is your friend. He's not going to preach to you like some Jerry Falwell motherfucker. He's just going to throw some rain and some wind your way and let you figure stuff out for yourself. Which I think is pretty cool.

We all know you're listening to Him, Trent. Even Anne Rice is listening to Him. And with your recent comments in Rolling Stone, about your plans after this tour -- "I might play theatres by myself, with the piano and some electronics... just try something that's the antithesis of the shows we're doing now" -- I think we all would agree that your listening to God is going to be one very good thing.

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink

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Comments

Gab., actually, I think part of what's making all of this seem hard is the fact that Trent is sober.

When you are sober and in control of yourself 24/7, you don't miss out on ANY of the fun shit life throws at you (whereas when you are fucked up quite a bit, you don't remember things).

I know with the weather & Jerome (god, I miss Jerome), it might seem like things aren't meant to be, but you know, that's life.

Life sucks. Primarily life consists of you busting your arse to do what you have to and trying to do your very best, and then you end up worn out.

Bad unfortunate shit happens along the way.

Also, along the way, there are small silver linings that remind you why you even bother.

I don't know what Trent will end up doing next year, whatever it is, it'll be great. Another chapter in his artistic growth. I'll fully support whatever it is.

In the meantime, I'm glad he's toughing it out (nerves, obstacls & all), because even though he has no clue, it's going to mean the fucking world to me to get out of my own world for a few days and have some fucking well deserved past due fun. And I have Mr. Reznor to thank for it.

Have fun at Bauhaus!

Posted by: bex | Oct 24, 2005 11:29:56 AM

Oh, OMG, if you wish to address the "batshit insane," gabriel's_ponderings is where you typically want to look.

But seriously, folks...

Actually, Gabriel, I have come to the conclusion that God has it in for a lot of good people. What was the point of the book of Job, after all? That even if you're hard-working and devoted and pious, God will totally fuck with you for reasons that have very little to do with you. To mix metaphors, all you can do is cower and hide among the rocks and hope that the Big Googly Eye of Sauron doesn't spy you.

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 12:03:13 PM

Did you ever notice that in the posters for Return of the King that the Eye Of Sauron looked like a fiery vagina?

Posted by: Gabriel | Oct 24, 2005 12:31:01 PM

Gabriel, I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU.

Posted by: Dierdre | Oct 24, 2005 12:35:31 PM

Don't let its gaze fall upon you.

Posted by: Gabriel | Oct 24, 2005 12:39:41 PM

Gabriel talks as though he's had a first-hand encounter with a vagina.

Here's where maise yet again reveals herself to be a great big nerd:

I do love all things LOTR, but that big googly eye was the least intimidating element ever. Much more creepy was "Sauron's mouth," who was cut from the theatrical version of ROTK.

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 12:59:20 PM

Gabe, you dumbass. He only typoed ALREADY, not FUCK... FUC is a wonderful typo of mine own.

"If I were Trent and I had my keyboard, it would have been even better, because my keyboard likes to produce this when I'm typing in an internet shout:
FUC HURRICANES! ENOUGH ALREADY.

Just felt like pointing that out for some reason. My wacky keyboard that is."

Posted by: Kim | Oct 24, 2005 1:09:57 PM

AND... Ft. Lauderdale is POSTPONED.

Posted by: Kim | Oct 24, 2005 1:12:17 PM

Kim, are you in Wilma's path?

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 1:20:17 PM

The Mouth of Sauron was fucking GRODY! Ugh! Plus, I hate that they prettied up Aragorn's hair in those scenes. I want my Aragorn wandering around in the wilderness with fucked up hair.

What were we talking about?

Oh, right. God's message to Trent. Whatevs.

Posted by: Dierdre | Oct 24, 2005 1:21:00 PM

Nah, Maise. But it was windy as hell today. Or wait... I think I am in it's path. I don't know. I'm kinda out of it, so I probably woudn't notice if it passed right over me. I'm in SC so we're probably just gonna get a lot of rain.

Um. Yeah. Wilma is like. Right below us, next to Georgia right now. No wonder it was so fucking windy. Projected path has it staying out on the coast though, no landfall.

Posted by: Kim | Oct 24, 2005 1:32:08 PM

See, that's exactly why I can't fully get into Aragorn the way some of my friends do: his clear lack of bathing. Legolas always looked Irish Spring clean even after killing about nine million orcs and riding their corpses like skateboards or whatever on his way to killing some ginormous troll or elephant thing. On the other hand, Legolas was kind of girly and spoke in a purposely vague manner that would drive me nuts:

Me: So, did you like my cassarole?
Legolas: The wind whistles through the trees. The moon shines down upon a bloody field.

That's why I'm into the hobbits. Plus, finally, I can be taller than someone!

Anyway, back on topic, Gabriel going off about God again, blah, blah, blah.

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 1:33:12 PM

Aragorn was my first crush, EVER. I read those books when I was 8 or 9, and I just remember DYING to get back to wherever he was. Legolas is too hairless for me. You know that guy doesn't have a single scrumptious hair on his girlish shoulder. Good hairdo, tho.

I kinda liked that burly Boromir, too. Too bad he had to die.

Oh yeah, and Gabriel, you fucking fairy, QUIT CALLING TRENT "MIKE".

Posted by: Dierdre | Oct 24, 2005 1:50:12 PM

Yeah, I'm with Dierdre on that one...the "Michael"s, the "Mike"s, the "MT Reznors"...it has to stop.

--mike maise

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 2:08:55 PM

Fucking right! His fucking name is TRENT.

Posted by: Jane | Oct 24, 2005 2:13:11 PM

Oh, and Bex, I haven't commented on your fucking humorless post above because it took me THIS LONG to wade through it. I slogged through that bit about sobriety making one a more conscious victim of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, but I have to admit: I ran to the toilet to throw-up my cauliflower in cheese sauce at "God, I miss Jerome." After "life sucks" I had to skip a paragraph or two because I was so fucking bored.

But, yeah, Gabriel, have fun at Bauhaus.

Posted by: Jane | Oct 24, 2005 2:44:18 PM

Maise makes me laugh... Gabriel, does Maise make you laugh?

Oh and Gabriel, you owe Maxwell a drink - you lost the bet on Friday night. He told me to remind you, but I don't think you could forget, right? Ha.

Posted by: gingersnaps | Oct 24, 2005 3:07:01 PM

Ugh stupid computer. Sorry for the double post.

Posted by: gingersnaps | Oct 24, 2005 3:35:00 PM

Tell Maxwell to chill. He'll get his money. Just because I didn't think he was that flexible doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the show.

But there's more sobering news afoot. Bad news at the Meathead Perspective today. :-(

Posted by: Gabriel | Oct 24, 2005 3:47:33 PM

FIX THE ENTRY GABE. *pokes you*

Posted by: Kim | Oct 24, 2005 4:13:14 PM

I wasn't going to bring up Herr Fleischkopf for obvious reasons, but what the hell *was* that?

I have some hypotheses:

a) That last Meathead Perspective was more Gabriel than Gabriel. Do any hacking lately, Liebchen?
b) PMS. It happens to the best of us.
c) It's all a parody of...I'm not quite sure what. He already hit this site, so I think we can safely eliminate ourselves.
d) Meathead is actually Dave Eggers in disguise.
e) He really *is* that pissed.
f) He just wants to cause everyone on the "ninternet" to go into a tizzy. In that case, in regards to ETS anyway, mission accomplished.

Verrrrrry innnnnnteresting...

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 5:02:57 PM

Is it just me, or did meathead sound like the most dramatic little emo-child tohave ever graced a dashboard confessional show?

I think WTC had more of a part in breaking him than we could have ever predicted.

You all deserve a pat on the back for that one.

The ninternet has never entertained me as much as it has today.

Once again kids, a pat on the back!

Posted by: Nicole | Oct 24, 2005 7:57:00 PM

Nevermind, Gabe. Now Lauderdale really is cancelled. SUCK.

Posted by: Kim | Oct 24, 2005 8:46:41 PM

Sorry to hear about the cancellation, Kim. I know that if my show had been cancelled, I would have lost my shit after months of anticipation. I hope you'll be catching another stop on the tour.

As for Meathead...

Well, I'd send Gabriel about a dozen roses if he'd take the high road and not gloat in some badly Photoshopped way that will bring up my breakfast in the morning. But since I highly doubt that, I will say this.

The Meathead Perspective was a fine, fine thing. Regardless of (or in spite of) my affiliation and loyalties and devotion here, I have always been a fan of his (except when he advocated Mimi's abortion--that was a bit much). And as a fan, I'm sure there is some satiric reason that he is making himself sound like the World's Biggest Douche. There are portions of that last post that simply *have* to be sarcastic. But it is troubling to me that he at least to some extent appears to feel the way he claims because you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of when I was in (surprise, surprise) high school drama, and I was under the thumb of the two most elitist teachers/directors ever. They had their favorites among the popular kids, and although they liked me for my plucky determination and willingness to accept any abuse they felt like dishing out, I was continually being pushed farther and farther backstage. Anyway, one evening they were unhappy about this and that, and oh the humanity--they threatened to quit! And then everyone in the cast had to beg and plead, "No, please don't quit!!! We love you! We need you! How will we ever survive without you?!" You know, like this.

And at the time, all I could think was, "Holy shit, can we just go *home* now?! It's 11 p.m., and I've got a pre-calc test in the morning!"

Well, okay, so maybe I don't have much of a life these days and will happily sift through pages and pages of internet drama. But I thought Meathead would be above taking his metaphoric ball and going home.

On the other hand, WHO THE FUCK CARES????

Posted by: maise | Oct 24, 2005 9:26:34 PM

Maise, you gotta love a melodramatic farewell to the ninternet. And that thread on ETS? Har!

Storm in a teacup.

Meat's best days were behind him, anyway.

Posted by: Dierdre | Oct 24, 2005 10:04:26 PM

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