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2005.09.21

[Le_Désespoir]

Bonsoir, mes cheries! You must forgive my absence from le forum for this past while. I have been simplement devastated by the tragedies that have happened in L’Amerique du Nord over the past few weeks. In a matter of hours, many of my Cajun brothers and sisters were washed away by the cruel hand of notre Seigneur. Those who survived were left with very little, except la bonté des étrangers.

In tribute and in mourning, I followed the tradition of les Cajuns, les Acadiennes, les Canadiens-Français and celebrated their lives lived with an enormous fête. And so, mes amis, I must tell you about the most wonderful of Cajun dishes, Le Turducken. It is simply merveilleux! You take a chicken, debone it, stuff it with Oyster Dressing, then you stuff the chicken inside of a duck, which has already been deboned. Then you fill the rest of the duck’s cavity with Andouille Dressing. Then you take the duck and stuff it inside of a turkey (deboning is optional but optimal for the turkey), and fill the rest of the cavity with Cornbread Dressing. You throw the whole thing in the oven at 400 degrees until it is done. While it is cooking, you may want to have some crawfish étouffée and a bowl of seafood filé gumbo, just to whet the appetite while watching Trent and his sad face on ReAct Now.

As if the events in la Nouvelle-Orléans were not already so tragic, there was worse news to come. My heart broke again this weekend after hearing about pauvre petit Jerome. I hope that he will carry on to continue playing during the rest of the tour. I am sending well wishes to Jerome, along with a care basket of some heart-friendly foods, such as a lovely 1969 Ch. Pétrus, a jar of Mimi’s homemade roasted macerated garlic in olive oil, some McCann’s Oatmeal, and some beautiful, dark, Belgian chocolate, with a bottle of low-dose aspirin and loving kisses placed atop of each.

And then, I received some very frantique messages from ma soeur, Buttercup, who was screaming about reading the new page at EmportantLesChaînes. And so, as I started to munch on my second dozen of chocolate pecan pralines, I read the little entry by Gabriel and his little poème and his experiments at the NIN show in San Diego. And I was in shock, mes amis. Voyons…there is a tragedy happening on the stage as an integral member of our most beloved band is being taken away in an ambulance, leaving notre amour Trent in shock and with a face more pale than a light roux, et alors Gabriel LeCharogne decides to baise un salop de chier dans un coin de la salle. But of course! It would be the most natural thing to do in the face of a tragedy. Much like the people in La Nouvelle-Orléans, (and now, les citoyens of Houston, Texas awaiting the new hurricane) whose first instinct, when they see the 200 mph winds and the rapid rising levels of water, is, I am certain, à baiser tous en vue.

My heart is saddened by the complete shallowness of Gabriel. First, he tries to censor my workmanship, simply because he does not like a couple of phrases that I was using. And now, when the hearts of everyone in the hall, everyone listening on the cell phones broadcasting the concert around the world, and everyone glued to NIN.com were all aching and praying for Jerome’s health, Gabriel was thinking about how quickly he could bring his thoughts of lust to life. To me, that is the most tragic loss of all. Someone whom I once admired for having integrity and soul has thrown it away for a pair of shiny pants and a quick lay. I am most unimpressed, mes cheries. In fact, I think I may just start on my fourth dozen of pralines.

Posted by Mimi Jones-Taylor in mimi's_musings | Permalink

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Comments

I keep finding myself drifting back here today, and I am not disappointed.

Wilkommen zurueck, Mimi! So nice to have you posting again, and I mean that sincerely.

You know, usually I have no problem with the French cognates, but I was a little thrown by this one: "baise un salop de chier dans un coin de la salle" (and yes, I know the meaning of "baise," but the rest of it? Something about Gabriel having carnal relations with a coin belonging to Mississippi explorer Robert LaSalle?)

We were all worried sick about poor Jerome, but all's well that ends well, right? And I'm thrilled to pieces that Gabriel got some action at long last. He's been sooooo much more pleasant, I can't even convey. I mean, it's not like they would have let Gabriel and Alex start performing some mouth-to-mouth on Jerome (as much as they would have wanted to), so what's the harm in a little tension release?

All you need is love, and what the world needs now is love, sweet love, etc. etc.

Posted by: maise | Sep 21, 2005 8:58:32 PM

Mimi, this post is my favorite of yours, ever. I hope Jerome likes Oatmeal.

I know your hopes must be dashed where Gabriel is concerned, but try to see it like this: before he got laid, he was a sour and bitchy because it's dark and dank in the closet. Now, he's sunny and has a boy who loves him.

There are other fish in the sea, dear Mimi. Especially for a girl with your magnificent charms and culinary skills!

Posted by: Dierdre | Sep 22, 2005 5:02:56 AM

Salut, maise! Unfortunately, I do not speak German, but my sister does. As for translating that phrase, I am too much of a lady to say those words in English.

Thank you for your kind word, Dierdre. I am not upset if Gabriel finds l'amour, but I am upset that his thoughts were not concerned with Jerome and his good being at the moment it was happening. As for fish in the sea, they need to be sauteed with a nice beurre blanc avec citron, or put into a nice bouillabaise. In truth, that is all they are good for.

Posted by: Mimi | Sep 22, 2005 6:15:56 AM

Mimi, I gained 5 pounds reading your post! STEP AWAY FROM THE PRALINES!

Welcome back.

That's so sweet, your gift idea for Jerome. Jerome seems to be a sweetheart, and I'm glad he's doing well now, too.

As for Gab he's obviously been having his own rough time, and he seems to be feeling better these days. I'm sure his tension release/poetry, etc. wasn't mean to be insensitive to the tragedies going on around us.I'm very happy he seems to be in a better frame of mind these days.

Posted by: bex | Sep 22, 2005 6:20:30 AM

Wb, Mimi, my ungrateful little bitch sister who calls and emails everyone else in the world except me. Fine. I figure you must weigh close to 300 lbs by now, since you got your dad's metabolism. Fucking, a whole turducken? Whatever. You never cook like that for me...

As for your obsession with Gabriel, didn't I warn you that university would do strange things to your head, and make 4 years of your life seem like a Blur song? Anyways, whatever. Get over it. Move on. Gabriel's a big wussy crybaby anyways, as you can see from his answer to [Call_&_Response_#_6]. Fucking Moulin Rouge? Now he IS totally fucking with your head, my dear. Move along. Nothing to see here. Besides, look at his pic in his profile -- Gabriel is nothing more than one of those waiflike pretty pseudo-goth blonde boys who thinks he's some hot piece of shit just because he has 0% body fat (or he's hiding that because nobody's ever seen his torso other than maybe Alex, but I assume things were quite dark in the concert hall.)

Better to find a nice boy with a firm, strong six-pack, a soft happy trail, and A RIDGE!!! Now get your head out of the oven, and stop baking!

Posted by: Buttercup J. | Sep 22, 2005 8:41:57 AM

I feel I must stand up for "Moulin Rouge." Sure, the songs sucked, but it was very interesting visually, and as a former drama club girl, I do appreciate the attempt to revive the musical genre. Plus, Ewan has a lovely singing voice. Plus, he's never looked hotter, except for maybe "Trainspotting." Or maybe "Shallow Grave," with his leg-warmers. But I digress...

I have every confidence in the world that Mimi will soon find a nice, straight bilingual man with a healthy appreciation for Nine Inch Nails and fine cuisine...

And how come every time Mimi writes in, I start getting hungry? Damnation!

Posted by: maise | Sep 22, 2005 9:03:56 AM

I hated Moulin Rouge, but I must agree with maise. Every time Ewan opened his mouth, I came.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Sep 22, 2005 9:59:44 AM

Buttercup -- how dare you call me BLONDE, bitch. Take that shit back.

I am DARK and MYSTERIOUS. And my gift is my song.

Posted by: Gabriel | Sep 22, 2005 10:38:02 AM

The shadow from the candle ain't fooling anyone, bitch! Being quite familiar with the Miss Clairol product line, I would say that's pseudo-goth-black #725 draping over your forehead. And it doesn't matter what colour you put in your hair, only a dumbass whiny blonde girl would change her opinions as quickly as Hurricane Rita's Cat. 5 winds (read your last few postings which went from hate to love to...wretch and puke!!), and write such soppy and moony love poems after her first time with a man. You ain't foolin' nobody, blondie! Dark and mysterious indeed! BAH!

Posted by: Buttercup J. | Sep 22, 2005 11:00:07 AM

Hurricane Rita has a cat? Would have thought Rita to be more of a dog lover...

Posted by: Gabriel | Sep 22, 2005 11:16:25 AM

Rita doesn't have a cat, but you have a...oh wait, that joke's been done to death. Much like your dyed hair.

Posted by: Buttercup J. | Sep 22, 2005 1:25:06 PM

heh, speaking of hurricane rita, i'm going to get an almost direct hit...scary. I'm actually in Katy, 30 miles west of Houston and it looks to be heading a little bit more east towards beaumont. i seem to think it may come back this way, but who knows...we'll have to see. I'll check in with yall as I can tomorrow evening, we may lose power close to midnight. say a little prayer for us down here or send us some positive energy. talk to yall soon.

Posted by: Kate | Sep 22, 2005 2:57:11 PM

Stay safe, Kate.

Posted by: Kim | Sep 22, 2005 6:24:22 PM

Take care, Kate, I'll be thinking about you!

Posted by: maise | Sep 22, 2005 7:16:21 PM

We'll all be thinking of you, Kate.

Posted by: Dierdre | Sep 22, 2005 10:26:53 PM

Kate, you're in my thoughts. I have a friend who as of yesterday, was probably stuck in traffic. She lives in Seabrook and is concerned when this is done, won't have a house. Fourth friend/family of mine made homeless by hurricanes in a month. You stay safe (are you sure you shouldn't evacuate?).

Posted by: bex | Sep 23, 2005 6:55:37 AM

Well, I hope all is well with Kate and that she checks in with us as soon as she can...will have to put her on my list of worries and concerns! Hurricanes suck. :(

On a funnier note, I finally sought out some assistance with Mimi's difficult French phrase above. Here is what Babel Fish gave me, but I think something got a little lost in translation because I feel no more enlightened than before:

"kiss a bastard to shit in a corner of the room"

Hmmm...I think I prefer my interpretation re: Robert LaSalle.

Posted by: maise | Sep 23, 2005 2:14:45 PM

Salut maise,

If you want to know what the sentence means (and Babel Fish only gives you the francais standard translation. Remember please I am french canadian) send me an e-mail and I will tell you. Comme j'ai dit, I am too much of a lady to say these things in publique.

Posted by: Mimi | Sep 24, 2005 7:26:30 AM

Yes, Maise, and when you recieve a response, kindly tell ALL OF US what it means, since Mimi is such a fucking prude.

Jesus.

Posted by: Jane | Sep 24, 2005 7:29:49 AM

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