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2005.09.19

[All_Hail_The_Pants]

Okay, bitches. It's time to lay some shit down on the line here.

I've been quiet these past couple days since the NIN show/Jerome near-tragedy (and unlike Meathead, I won't bother with a third-rate joke post about Jerome's almost-passing. No, here at WTC we have a very hard and strict "No Worse Than Second Rate" rule, so Meathead can shove his new, improved, shittier and ass-suckier sense of humor right up his fugly blondeboy beanpole ass).

I've been quiet for a number of reasons. They are, in no particular order:

1. The shock at seeing M.T. Reznor in such a fragile state at realizing Jerome might be in serious trouble.

2. The Spiral entrance not being a complete waste of fucking time after all.

3. Seeing my former best friend and bandmate, Alex, at the NIN show.

4. The Pants.

Now I know Dierdre's already revealed her true hater self with her previous post, but I think everybody that was at the show Friday night knows what I'm talking about.

The shiny... the slick... the beckoning... vinyl PVC pants of Michael Trent Reznor.

And let's not even go into his eyeliner.

I've not been a big proponent of the new buff macho Trent. If I wanted to hang with frat boys, I'd go to a fucking Coldplay show. My biggest fear was that the Trent of old, the Trent of the "Sin" video (and FUCK "Closer", my little bitches, "Sin" is the ultimate NIN Video Experience™) had gone. It seemed that Clean & Sober Trent meant every live show from here on out was going to be like watching Gerald McRaney at a fucking "Major Dad" reunion.

But then came the pants.

It's amazing how much a little bit of shiny plastic can change a man, or a fan... One moment I was standing there, ready for Nine Inch Nails to take the stage, annoyed by Alex's incessant pogoing bullshit (if any of you folks at the show saw the tard with the manic panic red hair jumping up and down before the set, that was Alex), and then... valhalla.

Though the show ended abruptly, everyone was alright, but the allure of those pants did not stop with the concert. They carried me into a new realm of experience, a realm of myself.... a realm where the words kinda i want to finally made sense.

This poem is for the pants.

Sin's Shiny Slickery
words by Gabriel

So smooth
svelte
beckoning, the reckoning
everything is about to change

pull deep inside my secret place
your shiny naughty gloves
(just like mine)
and the clouds of my indecision part

kinda i want to feel
the things i said i never felt
kinda i want to be
the thing i said i'd never be
and if hell is where it takes me
then at least i'll come
to heaven
tonight

voice from the past
waiting all these lonely nights
oh, so alone
(did you always know this would come to be?)

now you take it all
everything i have to give
and the lies, lies, lies, lies
drip away from my mind like the sweat

on your brow
push it back
take it all
and
push
right
in

isn't this what we've always wanted?

kinda i want to feel
the things i said i never felt
kinda i want to be
the thing i said i'd never be
and if hell is where it takes me
then at least i'll come
to heaven
tonight

and before i die away
i want to strip away
the sinful shiny slickery
that our new pastor wore for us
tonight

Posted by Gabriel in the_words_of_misery | Permalink

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Comments

Gabriel, I'm so glad you FINALLY got some action. If THE PANTS could tempt you "come" into your own personal heaven, then I love them.

However, the "Sin" video is crap. If Trent's going to play dirty little BDSM games, then he needs to fucking lay down a little more than the gyroscopy thing. I want nipple clamps, and spanking.

Kisses!

Posted by: Dierdre | Sep 19, 2005 10:30:51 PM

Gabriel, despite the trentus interruptus, that was the best night of my life.

You were totally right about "The Chalice."

Posted by: Alex | Sep 20, 2005 4:17:39 AM

Hey, if Trents shiny pants made Gab. happy..then I hope he'll wear them more often!

Glad you had fun Gab.

:)

Posted by: bex | Sep 20, 2005 5:30:05 AM

I have to agree with Dierdre on the "Closer" vs. "Sin" video debate, Gabriel. I think Herr Rez's output is at its most nuanced precisely at its intersection with other artists' work - in the case of "Closer" with that of Joel Peter Witkin. It is as if, on certain days, Trent allows himself to be influenced (fucked, if you will) by another artist. Ambiguous Trent is more interesting than obsidian-hearted, strident Trent... though, only marginally so.

Liked the poem in places.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Sep 20, 2005 6:46:52 AM

Gabriel, am I to understand that after all of your endless bitching about The Spiral, and how big a sell-out Trent is, your hypocritical bitch ass actually JOINED THE FAN CLUB?

I am disgusted.

This poem is fucking sick. You are clearly stagnating in your own version of Trent's Pretty Hate Machine days.

Posted by: Jane | Sep 20, 2005 6:47:51 AM

Well, Gabriel, I am so glad that you had a good time...I can only hope that, as short as I am, I will have a glimpse of shininess when Trent comes to an arena near me.

I LOVE that you composed an ode to the PVC pants, but man, the part of your poem where you refer to Trent as a "pastor" has given me major heebie-jeebies. I nearly ran out of my office screaming. No, not really. But still. Eeeeeeek!

Posted by: maise | Sep 20, 2005 7:10:49 AM

Ugh, God...I need to take a fucking shower after that poem, and not in the good way. I mean, pleather is so 1994, you know, "Don't kill the animals" and all that crap. Which is what your sensitive fanboy poem sounds like -- what are you, fucking 16 again, Gabriel? Oooh, so you saw Trent in shiny PVCs. Oooh, so you got laid by a redheaded stepchild. Come on...you of all people should not be fooled by the allure of the shiny rock star, and the substitute sexual escapade that satisfies the lusting for 25 seconds after the show is over (or, in this case, cancelled). What kind of drugs did Alex slip in your drink, dude? Really, I have a hard time (pardon the pun) believing that a pair of fucking PANTS has turned you into a shrieking newly-deflowered fangirl, especially at your age. Who really wrote this, and what have you done with Gabriel?

Or are you just trying to make my sister cry, bitch? I can't find her anymore. She's not at school, she's not at the 'Bucks where she works, she's not anywhere. Yeah, okay, anger is my prime motivation here, but still...you're being a little overdramatic about fucking shiny PVC pants, dontcha think, bitch?

Posted by: Buttercup J. | Sep 20, 2005 7:28:39 AM

What is this? Where is Mimi??????

Posted by: maise | Sep 20, 2005 7:36:54 AM

Seeing Pastor Reznor embrace his previous deviance with a wide-armed embrace was a revelation for me. Should we toil under the moral and social boundaries put upon us by our forefathers? I have for years... and the pants reflected the light of truth into my eyes finally.

Baal, stop name dropping -- referencing Witkin to sound like a cool nine inch nails fan went out in 1994. Judging from your "strident" use of extraneous vocabulary, you're either a thesaurus-humping high school kid, or a desperate college freshman. Either way, don't bother trying to impress us -- just be who you are, my friend. You'll be happier for it.

And can I just comment for a moment on the reports filtering out about last night's show: TRENT PLAYED "DEEP"? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT????

Posted by: Gabriel | Sep 20, 2005 8:24:21 AM

Gabriel, I thought you might enjoy this fanfic in which Trent gets fuct by Kevin Spacey.

Yeah. Finally.

Posted by: Jane | Sep 20, 2005 8:29:47 AM

God, are you there? It's me, Maise. I know You're busy and all, but would You mind sending out some divine inspiration? Because I'd really like a PVC pants/"Physical (You're So)" combo. Then I could die a happy woman...

I'm trying not to peek at the setlists, but if Trent thinks I'd rather hear "Deep" than, say, "Dead Souls," he is sorely mistaken. But you know, maybe I should give "Deep" the song a chance. I only associate it with the dreadful visuals of the Worst Video Ever Made.

And Jane? I don't know what's scarier...the fact that Trent/Kevin Spacey fanfic exists or the fact that you found it.

Posted by: maise | Sep 20, 2005 8:57:26 AM

And should I be worried about Mimi right now? Because I'm the type who always worries about people who aren't where they're supposed to be, even if I don't really know them so well...

Posted by: maise | Sep 20, 2005 9:01:06 AM

when are we having the coming out party for you, gabriel? i'll bring the rainbow flags if you bring the dildos!

i'm so happy for you! i didn't think you'd ever come to your senses.

kisses,

denise

Posted by: denise | Sep 20, 2005 9:55:16 AM

Why would you immediately jump to the conclusion that I'm a loud and proud member of the rainbow community, Denise?

If anything, I think I've entered a phase in my life where I simply am open to exploration of all kinds -- this is no different an exploration than my mescaline trip in the desert, or my re-acceptance of Christ. There are no need for labels, rules, or boxes to put oneself in.

I am merely Gabriel, a creature of experiences -- like all of us are at heart. And that is to be celebrated.

Preferably in a pair of vinyl pants.

Posted by: Gabriel | Sep 20, 2005 11:43:15 AM

I like your attitude today, Gab.

Are you attending any more upcoming NIN shows?

Posted by: bex | Sep 20, 2005 12:00:27 PM

Actually, I think that anyone who is accepting of all sexual orientations is a loud and proud member of the rainbow community...although I suppose that definition isn't entirely up to me, as I'm a woman who likes men in shiny form-fitting pants.

Posted by: maise | Sep 20, 2005 12:05:36 PM

Thanks for bringing the hate you profess to hate, Gabriel. Christians usually make the best hypocrites.

"Merely" Gabriel, indeed. After lurking around WTC for about a month, I think I can safely say I have never encountered anyone more desperate to impress us all with his Enlightenment than Gabriel. Why is being right(eous) so important to you?

Finally, please eat a bowl of dicks, my friend. You'll be happier for it.

Posted by: Baal Glyttr | Sep 20, 2005 12:07:07 PM

I'm glad you see my explorations in life as Enlightenment, Baal. It feels good to know I'm making a differnce in our readers out there.

Do you prefer your dick bowls with soy or rice milk?

Posted by: Gabriel | Sep 20, 2005 12:23:20 PM

'Eat a bowl of dicks'...haven't heard that one before, that's fucking hysterical.

Posted by: Jessica | Sep 20, 2005 1:23:18 PM

I am merely Gabriel, a creature of experiences -- like all of us are at heart. And that is to be celebrated.

Fucking hell, Gabriel. I BARFED. Does this mean you'll be drinking your salvation from both sides of the bar from now on? You are such a fucking headcase.

Plus, aren't you going to respond to the ever so pertinent accusation of hypocrisy leveled at you with total justification above?

Don't get me wrong, bitch, I'm glad you've come to your senses and gotten the deep-dickin' you so clearly needed in a BIG WAY.

I'm just sayin'.

Posted by: Dierdre | Sep 20, 2005 1:44:52 PM

pfft!

gabriel, you're gay.

and that's okay. don't let your friend jesus tell you otherwise.

you are, however, too old to be turning your everyday experiences and feelings into dark poetry. but, i am merely denise, trying to guide a troubled goth boy to his own salvation through a good old fashioned boyfest.

i love my gays. please get in line, gabriel.

love,

denise

Posted by: denise | Sep 20, 2005 2:58:42 PM

Just thought I'd let you know, he was wearing the PVCPLEATHER pants again.

Go to NIN's MySpace and look down on the left side of the page for the video... if it's showing THTF video, do a hard refresh. You should get some footage from Phoenix last night.

Posted by: Kim | Sep 20, 2005 6:49:26 PM

OMFG,why is sex so much fun? Jesus fuck.

Posted by: Jessica's drunk AGAIN | Sep 20, 2005 9:17:52 PM

That video on My Space is awesome, the pants notwithstanding. I'm glad to see that they aren't 100% shiny. I should have known Trent would be cleverer about his vinyl pants than to go totally shiny. Have years of cornstarch taught me nothing?

Also, I'd just like to say, in response to this update:

[09_20_2005] Finally, we got through the 1st show! It felt great onstage, I hope those in attendance left feeling the same way. To those planning on coming, do yourself a favor and show up early. It's well worth getting there for Autolux, and you know QOTSA are fucking awesome. 5:08pm_PST

That while I whole-heartedly agree about Autolux, whom I have seen a million times in Los Angeles, I must say that I don't really KNOW that information about QOTSA, whom I have tried to like, really I have, but they bore the living hell out of me.

I like it how Trent never fails to whip out a "fucking" at some point, though.

OMFG. What's happened to me? I've gone all critical lately! Whatevs. The good lord knows how deep, deep, deep my love is.

Posted by: Dierdre | Sep 20, 2005 9:39:38 PM

"Plus, aren't you going to respond to the ever so pertinent...."

D., you little Reznorette!

:)

Posted by: bex | Sep 21, 2005 5:50:40 AM

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