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2005.07.30

[How_Dumb_Are_You_Fuckers, Part_Deux]

Well today brought a nin hotline announcement and subsequent topic posting on echoing the sound regarding the nine inch nails themed branding of the upcoming Game Shark Media Manager for PSP from Mad Catz Interactive.

In a nutshell, this application is something that you install on your PC (no Mac support mentioned) that lets you organize your media, games, files, etc., that you have on your PlayStation Portable. You know, kinda like what iTunes does for the iPod, but we’re talking about a Sony product here so of course you need a third party application to make real use of what’s a basic functionality. But I digress…

Apparently, consumers are going to be able to buy a Nine Inch Nails version of this product, which will feature prominent use of the NIN logo on the packaging, and feature some “exclusive” live footage with the device when you buy it.

Now, as the one intelligent ETS reader on those boards pointed out (his name is OsseusLabyrint; who knew??), Trent’s recently made comments about how lame Jimmy Page was for letting Cadillac use a Led Zeppelin tune in a Cadillac commercial (Trent's biting closing line was, “How much money does Led Zeppelin need?”) Well now, of course, we’ve got the NIN Branding tie in from Trenty McChange His Mind.

As much as I would love to bust into a major rant here about the utter hypocrisy of this, that some people would agree with, some disagree, and Dierdre would simply not care about because it’s not directly part of Trent’s music, I thought I’d address some of the ETSers statements/questions/concerns instead (though for the record, TRENT’S A FUCKING HYPOCRITE):

1. This isn’t hypocritical of Trent at all; he did music for Quake (a/k/a Doom 2) That’s like the same thing, don’t you think, hmmmmm????

Yes, douche, he sure did. You know how that music was credited? Oh, let me check: MUSIC BY TRENT REZNOR, not Nine Inch Nails, fuckfaces! Was there a NIN logo on the packaging of the game? NO. Was it whoring out the identity of the band and using it to sell more product? NO. Would the average consumer have even KNOWN that NIN was involved with QUAKE? NO NO NO NO YOUR COCK IS SMALL NO.

So I guess it’s not the same thing, is it?

2. Sure, Trent complained about Bowie letting Microsoft use “Heroes” in an ad, but this isn’t the same thing as an Evil Corporation! Mad Catz is a homegrown, small, independent cool company!

Hey, ballsack – your frontal lobe called. It’s glad it left and it's never coming back. What Trent had said in a recent Kerrang interview was,

I constantly have to remind myself what the goal is. Should I say yes to that Microsoft commercial because I could use a new house? Or do I say no because this is something precious that would be tarnished if I did that… My feelings were hurt when I heard David Bowie's 'Heroes' on a fucking Microsoft commercial. It's like 'Why? Fuck!'"

Well maybe it’s just me, but I see NOTHING GODDAMNED WHAT SO FUCKING EVER in that quote about “Evil Big Bad Corporations” being a problem while “Fuzzy Bunny Independent Vendors” being a big thumbs up. Seems to me it was about the music being important, and not taking a paycheck if it would harm the nobility of the music. Well, when it comes to getting my Brand Spanking New PSP Complete With Nine Inch Nails Media Manager, I’m thinking the nobility of the music has been tarnished.

You may not think that, ETS readers, but that’s because you’re eating your own shit.

3. “Supporting games aint a sellout” [sic]. Trent and his crew have always been hard core gamers!

Okay, first things first. Did you read Queston #2? Are you eating your own shit? Okay good; now die.

Just because you numbskulls happen to be fans of the arena in which Reznor has decided to whore the NIN identity does not make it okay. I’m sure the 50 year old NIN fans out there would think it would be fucking AWESOME if Trent did start using his music to promote Viagra, as one of your suggested in some attempt to be “amusing”. There’s always going to be a crossover audience, jackhole, and not everybody is 14, lives with their parents, and spends all their time playing videogames. Most of us masturbate instead.

And just because Trent Fucking Reznor is a FAN of games himself does not make it alright, or “cool” for him to use the NIN logo in such a frivolous way! Hey, guess what – he drinks Beet juice! What about a NIN-branded juicer! What about a NIN-branded treadmill! Or, from the makers of Soloflex: the Happiness In Slavery Home Workout System? How’s that grab you? Sound good?

Actually, knowing you ETSers, it probably does.

Christ. I don’t even know why I’m so wired. I guess I should just sit back and be entertained by the sheer inane idiocy of the lot of you. But instead, I shall create:

How It Came To Pass
words by Gabriel

My father always said
Pregnant women
That did meth
Would have deficient children

For once that man was right

Zip, Bing, Secret Code, Smasho!
Fuck You.

Posted by Gabriel in the_words_of_misery, things_i_hate | Permalink

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Comments

Gabriel said: Or, from the makers of Soloflex: the Happiness In Slavery Home Workout System? How’s that grab you? Sound good?

You know, that would be so fucking funny, except you know that there WOULD be some dumb fuck out there who'd buy it, because they'd think they could get those Hulk muscles in only 20 days.

Once again, my friend, you prove yourself wise beyond your years, and demonstrate how, although I still love him, Trent's mind is being taken over by those male menopausal mood swings. (By the way, is it just me, or does every guy over 40 want a fucking PSP???)

Posted by: Buttercup_J | Jul 30, 2005 4:09:29 PM

"Or, from the makers of Soloflex: the Happiness In Slavery Home Workout System? "

OMFG! LOL!!!! Need I say more?

:)

hugs,
bex
:)

Posted by: bex | Jul 30, 2005 7:22:25 PM

For my money, the funniest part of this entry was: "NO NO NO NO YOUR COCK IS SMALL NO."

Brilliant.

That said, you're right - this is lame. I hate video games. When people play video games for too long, they become total fucking retards. When I read this news, I not only knew this rant was in the proverbial pipes, but also, I was inclined to say "Fucking hell, Trent, WHY VIDEO GAMES?! Dude, it's so middle school."

Still, when I read ETS, and know what "market" Trent is dealing with I totally get why he thinks it might be a good commerce-related decision to get in on the "gaming market."

Which brings me to my second point of agreement with you, Gabriel, and that is on the topic of my thoughts regarding Trent Reznor's commerce-related decisions. You're right. I don't give a fuck.

However -- and you can quote me on this -- the day Trent is involved in a decision that allows his music to be the backdrop of a fucking Dodge commercial, or some shit, I will fucking find him and eat his cold, dead heart in the fucking marketplace.

Now, bow down before my Shakespeare references, bitches.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jul 31, 2005 2:41:30 AM

I give him 3 years until the music of NIN is hocking Ford or Honda products.

If his tunes weren't so damn angry, it would've happened already.

"I want to drive you like an animal".... it's on its way.

Posted by: Gabriel | Jul 31, 2005 2:51:02 AM

You are SUCH A FUCKING HATER, Gabriel.

That said, I really hope you are wrong, because all I can think of when I hear "Rock 'n' Roll" by Led Zepplin is Cadillacs, and if one day it comes to pass that all I can think of when I hear "Closer" is a fucking Ford, that will be a sad fucking day, because right now the only thing I can think of when I hear that song is, um...

Much nicer.

However, I am fully in favor of the NIN branded Soloflex if Trent will be in the late night cable infomercial and I will fucking BUY ONE if you get a Trent Reznor Super Power Workout video to go with it where he says "Hi, I'm Trent Reznor, and I will PUMP YOU UP!"

Posted by: Dierdre | Jul 31, 2005 3:02:02 AM

""I want to drive you like an animal".... it's on its way."


ROFL.........stop it..my side hurts from laughing!!!

Diedre, I agree...if T. does a workout video to go along with his exercise machine...I will at least get a hold of the video.
:)
Okay, sorry, I'm going to have a fangirl moment...when you work out hard..some of the faces you make straining, etc....well..Trent is the master at making sexy growly faces, etc. I think most of us might have to watch that tape in private.
:)

hugs,
bex

Posted by: bex | Jul 31, 2005 8:41:16 AM

Bex, if you ever apologize for having "a fangirl moment" on WTC again, I will have to flog you.

That said, I would fully lick my television.

Posted by: Dierdre | Jul 31, 2005 9:08:48 AM

"Bex, if you ever apologize for having "a fangirl moment" on WTC again, I will have to flog you."

******Oh my..I usually dish this out, instead of receive..but if you must......
:)

"That said, I would fully lick my television."

****Now that's more like it!
;)

Posted by: bex | Jul 31, 2005 2:56:48 PM

Was there a NIN logo on the packaging of the game? NO. Was it whoring out the identity of the band and using it to sell more product? NO. Would the average consumer have even KNOWN that NIN was involved with QUAKE? NO NO NO NO YOUR COCK IS SMALL NO.

*cough*

Posted by: Mark | Aug 13, 2005 7:58:21 AM

on the other hand if any consumer ever took the time to look at the nail gun ammo boxes in quake theyre clearly branded with the NIN logo, not trents face, so although he may be accredited with the audio clearly allows the use of the logo of HIS band (so as far as im concerned he can do what he likes with it) within the game, the same goes for the use of the logo in an area of final doom.
Basically though, stop bitching, trent can do what he likes, its his music, his band, his logo and if he wants to whore it out he can, i couldnt give a shit so long as he keeps putting out music I enjoy, when he stops that ill stop listening.
Oh, and to that idiot who seems to use insulting peoples genitals as a defense mechanism, fuck off and grow up.

Posted by: Valcian | Nov 5, 2005 4:19:56 AM

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