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2005.05.23

[What’s_Up_With_Your_Crappy_ Song_Selection,_Old_Man?]

I’m going to go out on a limb here, people, and say something that I think everybody’s been feeling, deep down inside, but nobody wants to admit.

Trent Reznor’s a middle-aged man playing it safe.

Yeah, I know, I can hear you seeth already – so come on, bring on the hate mail. Address it to Gabriel or post it in the comments section below.

Now if you don't have a lot of things to compare NewTrent™ to, my ideas may reek of madness as you probably think Trent is "still super hard, bro!". Maybe some of you are relatively new to the Nine Inch Nails scene, or perhaps you've only been fans long enough to see the band live when the fragility tour came through your part of the world. If you’re just discovering NIN, welcome. If you were a casualty of fragility 1.0, 2.0, or fragility fucking pi, I’m sorry.

See, cause when I was 13 my brother took me to the self-destruct tour. This was something new. Perhaps you’ve seen it on closure. In it, Trent Reznor is a man possessed. Out of control, out of his mind, and let me tell you --- it was riveting and downright fucking holy to witness. And in that show he played almost every song off his new record – even the stupid ones, like “the downward spiral”. Who would've ever thought some wheezy background loop and out of tune guitar could sound good live? But it was riveting I tell you, and when the second half of that song hit, what with the manic screaming, and the “he couldn’t believe how easy it was”-ing... you were in the throes of ecstasy.

Well now it’s 2005. We have an astounding new record. And Trent’s touring again. He’s calling it live: with_teeth_2005. “Well, Gabriel!”, you must be saying, “I bet you really enjoyed Coachella, and cannot wait to hear so many great tracks from [With_Teeth] at the two shows in San Diego you’re going to! With all the new songs, those club shows will be even more powerful!”

Well sure! If the little fucking midget would play any of the new tracks! Oh, of course we get “love is not enough” and “you know what you are?”, because they’re big and loud and dumb, and we get the obvious hit single “the hand that feeds” (which is cool because of the Orlando Bloom connection), but what about the songs that make your new record great, Trent? What about “only”? What about “all the love in the world”? What about the fucking BEST SONG YOU’VE EVER WRITTEN, “right where it belongs”?

See, I guess I was under the mistaken impression that you were still a rock star. That you didn’t give a shit about what The Man thought, and that you were the guiding light of your own destiny. Well, Trent, either there was a misprint in the marketing materials and somebody forgot to mention that live: with_dentures was a Greatest Hits tour, or you’re just being a pussy.

Lemme tell you something –- we don’t need to hear “piggy” anymore! We’ve heard it already! “march of the pigs”? BORING. And your good friend “starfuckers, inc.” that you keep feeling the need to dust off almost every other night? Well I hate to be the one to break the news, but it BLOWS. It always has, and it always will. Notice how it’s one of the few songs that you co-wrote with somebody instead of masterminding all by yourself? That’s your first tip to its suckage, right there. Have some balls! Take a chance! Play the new material!!!

And what’s with this new look? There’s no vinyl, no fishnet, no rubber… none of your fucked up dirty creepiness is left. Instead it’s this buffed up, crows feeted, buff guy shit. I mean what the fuck, Trent; you look like the guy that would have beat you up in high school, not that guy that wants to get fucked by the devil in the back of his car.

I’m not saying you have to do the old routine again (though it’d be a lot cooler if you did). But if you’re going to be this new, healthy, and happy Trent (rumor is that you can even see yourself getting married and having kids these days? What the fuck, dude!) then at least sell it by playing the new songs. That’s what we want to hear anyway. Because all the old songs are coming off like Kool-Aid without the sugar added, 'cause we’ve already seen that shit done way better than you’re doing it now.

Sorry to be so critical, but I just want you to be the best you can be. Come on, man. Stop being such a bitch.

Gabriel

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink

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Comments

I'm so appalled by this post that I can't stop sputtering, let alone reply, but here goes:

What happened to the love, Gabriel?

I guess the tune you're singing is: "Better to burn out than fade away." Well, I say that Trent doesn't have to do EITHER, and he's just finding his way. Personally, as much as I miss his pale gothic beauty of yore, I'd rather see him change without fearing it than get fucked by the devil AGAIN.

I'd like to see you call him a bitch to his face, without the internet(s) to protect you. I think he could (and would) kick your pansy goth/emo ass.

Oh, and Trent? If you want to get married, I'd be delighted to have about a million of your babies.

Posted by: Dierdre | May 24, 2005 7:28:19 AM

I agree about the new songs tho. He should be playing them. Especially "Right Where It Belongs". Plus, he should play "Burn" every single night. Naked.

Posted by: Dierdre | May 24, 2005 7:31:09 AM

Me again.

I second (third?) the need for more new songs live. I've considered sending the man an email: "If you do 'All the Love in the World' live when you hit Detroit, you can guarantee that I will go batshit. Keep an eye out: I'll be the super-pale redhead singing harmony at the top of my lungs and flailing like I'm at a Baptist revival during the second half. And I'm a Pagan."

And you can have his millions of babies, dear. I just want to interview him. (This doesn't mean that I don't feel an overwhelming need to jump his bones. I'm trying to keep it professional here.)

Posted by: emerald527 | May 24, 2005 11:16:27 AM

Professional schmofessional.

This post makes me mad! MIDGET? PUSSY? BITCH? Gabriel, you are SO on my shitlist.

Posted by: Dierdre | May 24, 2005 11:33:58 AM

Right on. TR's acting like he's totally given up on everything he's ever said. This new record makes me queasy, and it's as if he doesn't even believe in it himself, if he won't even play the songs. I'm really disappointed with everything about the new TR.

Posted by: Hanky | May 24, 2005 12:56:07 PM

Right on to you both emerald & Dierdre. As for you, Gabriel, why the sudden bashing of a man you once called hero? His aging is inevitable and I think he's still fucking hardcore. You would rather he prance around like Mick Jagger, a 60 yr old man in tight leathers? I bet my left nut that behind closed doors he still gets as freaky as a lubed up she-devil in heat. I think he's traded in the needle for some weights and if that keeps him rockin for more years to come, good...as for the song selection, yeah, it licks. He needs to realize that he has nothing to hold back anymore. The now is now and he needs to lay all the cards on the table. Whip out the new fucking songs, bust out the rare ones you never play!...ok, I'm done.

Posted by: Tormented_Soul_3 | May 24, 2005 6:19:36 PM

Amen. Trent sux. What a fucking loser.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 24, 2005 6:37:19 PM

Hey Gabriel - it looks like some of your loser, turncoat compatriots who don't feel the love have joined us on Wearing These Chains. Good work.

Trent, some of us LOVE YOU, man.

Posted by: Dierdre | May 24, 2005 7:57:59 PM

I wish more NIN fans would have the balls to tell it like it is.

Posted by: Peter | May 24, 2005 10:48:25 PM

Not everyone's seen them before dickhead! Some of us live in countries that he very rarely, if ever, visits so if he plays the "predictable" old stuff too fucking bad for you.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 25, 2005 5:13:30 AM

You are entitled to your blog, but you are a tool.

Posted by: Anonymous | May 25, 2005 6:07:52 AM

this is a warm up tour. wait for the actual with teeth tour.

they'll be playing loads of new stuff.

anyway, everyone is entitled to their little shitty blog on the internet, and this one is awful, but whatever, it's a fucking awful boring read. You should take some english classes, or some journalism classes.

fuck fuck fuck fuck

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