2007.07.25

[May_God_Have_Mercy_On_ Our_Bloggy_Little_Hearts]

Hey guys.

We've had a great run here at WearingTheseChains. From our first post back in May of 2005, when we were just another free stop on blogspot.com, and the primogenial Dear Trent, which in and of itself set the blueprint for pretty much everything to come, we've gotten to partake in a lot of good times with all you guys. The Meathead Wars, Dierdre's engagement, and a whole lotta haiku... it's been a good haul.

But passion is elastic, the progress of time is constant, and things... well, things change.

With that, I'm here to announce that WearingTheseChains is going on extended hiatus. For the record, this isn't me acting unilaterally; this was a decision reached amongst all current staff members (and yes, that means Iris and Maise, too). It wasn't a decision that was reached lightly, either. It involved a lot of arguing, back and forth, slammed doors, thrown soft drinks, and broken monitors. Two people got hit in the head with staplers, significant others became concerned, the police were called in... it wasn't pretty folks. But point is, we're now all out of the hospital, and on the same page.

Except I'm still gonna get that bitch Maise. Just you wait.

"But Gabriel!," I hear our legion of fan crying out, "Blink 182 went on an extended hiatus and they've never come back! We know what you really mean!"

Well yes, that is always a possibility I suppose, but Blink 182's hiatus also gave us both Box Car Racer AND Angels & Airwaves, so maybe it was sorta AWESOME, no?

And in that vein, I am REALLY happy to finally be able to announce our very own BCR/A&A, Places Parallel.

Birthed from the snarky loins of Maise and Iris, Places Parallel takes the commentary and conversation (and straight up obnoxiousness) of WTC, and uses the entire music scene as its target. Really good stuff (and if you're a Pumpkins fan you'll definitely want to read). We'll all be making stops in there from time to time, so please check them out, leave a comment and support our ladies -- they did some great work here, and Dierdre and I are really looking forward to what they've got in store.

And that's it folks. I want to thank everybody for all their support and readership over the past couple years -- it's really been fun. And Dierdre did want me to emphasize that this is not a closing... eventually that Formerly Angry Now Seemingly Well-Adjusted And Isn't That Dull? Midget is going to put out another record, and I'm sure we'll have something to say when that time comes. We'll have the folks at PP give everyone a heads up as well when there's new content.

In the meantime, comments will remain open, enjoy reading some of the old shit if that's your thing, and keep on listening to Trent Reznor and digging your Nine Inch Nails records. Some great fucking music is what all of this was about, and no matter what comes and goes in our respective lives, that will never change.

Much love to everyone (except for those fuckers we don't like -- you know who you are)

Gabriel, Dierdre, Iris, Maise, & Mimi
WearingTheseChains.com

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink | Comments (38)

2007.07.17

[I_Told_You_So]

Hey bitches!

Remember when I posted this, exactly three weeks ago, about Trank having a new iPhone?

Well, Trank just posted this this.

Yes, I know, I'm amazing.

I also know what the next album is going to be called, because he texted my iPhone from his iPhone. I then emailed Angelman's iPhone with the information. Jealous yet?

You should be.

Posted by Gabriel in | Permalink | Comments (242)

2007.07.09

[Guess_What?]

Posting as a guest author is cool, because that's what you've been invited and authorized to do.

Getting PWNed at the hands of Angelman ands yours truly is cool, because that's what you were born to do.

Fucking with the HTML of the very site, changing it's page title headers, like you were the webmaster?

That shit gets you fired.

Sorry kids. WTC has two less authors on its staff as of RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Viva L'avril.

Posted by Gabriel in | Permalink | Comments (153)

2007.07.09

[The_Stewart_Revolution: The_Reckoning]

Isn't Stewart Copeland awesome, everyone? Perhaps some of our readers may not be very familiar with Stewart; they may feel he's "before their time." Shit, the Police were almost before my time, only I was very fortunate to become a fan during my very impressionable years--around 5 or 6. Anyway, if you get a chance, I highly recommend that you check out his drumming prowess at one of the Police Reunion shows this summer. Stewart is even harder working than Josh Freese on stage...he plays like 15 freaking percussion instruments back there! He's so gangly and good-natured, who couldn't love him as much as I do?

Well, Gabriel won't. In fact, he is going to have a fucking aneurysm when he sees this post. Angelman will likely have a smaller, toadie-like aneurysm. Yet ANOTHER reason to support the Stewart Revolution!

I'm still trying to figure out how to change that HORRID, DETESTABLE, LOATHSOME background image of ours without breaking the site. In the meantime, you can admire just a few of the many gorgeous faces of Stewart here:

Stewart in his prime:

Hunky Red Carpet Stew:

And oh God, hottest of all...FIERCE STEWART RAWKING OUT!

Now, I'm not saying that Stewart Copeland is superior to Trent Reznor because I do sincerely love them both. (If, for example, Josh Freese was ever too busy drumming for, say, Avril Lavigne, Trent would be wise to add Stewart to the line-up!) However, it should be pointed out that Stewart tends to be nicer to his fans when responding to them on message boards.

Here's some more Stewart trivia!

--The dude has seven children!
--He provided the voice of "American Soldier #1" in South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut.
--He's fluent in Arabic and grew up in Egypt and Lebanon.
--His soundtracks were probably the best things about some very bad films.
--He's only 13 years older than Trent, so he's not that old.

So take a moment, everyone...celebrate Stewart! After all, his birthday is next Monday!

Posted by maise in maise_bites | Permalink | Comments (21)

2007.06.26

[The_Future]

Hey folks. I've decided to try to boost readership to the site by increasing the influx of traffic from the world's various search engines. Ready? Here we go:

I heard Trent Reznor already has a new iPhone!

Posted by Gabriel in | Permalink | Comments (135)

2007.06.20

[Dear_Trent_#_41]

Dear Trent,

I'm flying in the face of Gabriel's bullshit embargo, because, apparently, I am the Paris Hilton of the NINternet, and moreover, this is my website and if I want to send a missive of LOVE to you, dear Sparklepants, my veritable raison d'etre, I fucking well will. I feel like it's time I told you that I love you with the same pure fire, the same undying and eternal flame with which I have loved you since forever.

Dearest Trent! Nothing has changed. My love is true.

I know that with the whole Avril thing that's going on here, the embargo, and all the total bullshit that never seems to stop being manufactured around this website, coupled with our relative silence lately on the topic of your every move and breath -- or even your latest recording -- that maybe I don't love you like I used to. It might seem like that, but, in point of fact, that is absolutely false.

Here's what's true, baby: I haven't been that big into the whole ARG thing. I know, KILL ME! But, I've never been much of a video game/sci-fi fan. I'm a snob, quite frankly, and speaking as a girl who, at one time, read literary theory for a hobby, I have to tell you that it is my somewhat professional opinion that there are, relatively speaking, only but a very few examples of that genre that are worth more than the paper they are printed on, and the narrative contents of this particular example of it have only resisted that generality insofar as they are not actually printed on paper... but that's neither here nor there, in the end.

My sweet love, I know you're all about looking forward into the future of your work, but I'm not sure you've brought your vision to it's full flower in this episode. The truth is it's left me with not so much to say, really. I like your record, of course, because it's yours, and I like you. I mean, I really like you. I like what you are in your bones, and I like what it means that you do it. I like everything about the unfolding process that is your pilgrimage in the land of your work, and when you send us your postcards from that land, I recieve them eagerly, and gobble them hungrily. They have never disappointed me, and nothing about them -- nothing whatsoever -- disappoints me now, because more than anything, it's the process that thrills me.

I am patient, dear Trent, and I await the next communique from your empire as eagerly as ever before. Journey on, my darling, I will always be here, my romantic heart throbbing your sweet name with such ceaseless insistence that it will be as if Avril Levigne and Gabriel Miller NEVER EXISTED.

Love,
Dierdre

Posted by Dierdre in dear_trent | Permalink | Comments (50)

2007.06.19

[Maise>Avril]

It's been almost a full week of living under the tyranny of the embargo. And although free speech is no longer free at Wearing These Chains, I refuse to worship false idols. Especially when said false idols are so blatantly lame. I mean, come on, even I am awesomer than Avril Lavigne. And I'm not even all that awesome, truth be told. But it is true--I am greater than Avril Lavigne, and here are just a few of the many reasons why. To wit:

10 Reasons That Maise Is Awesomer Than Avril Lavigne:

10. Avril may be oh-so-adorable at 5'1". Such a tiny little thing! I bet it makes her even HOTTER, right? Well, I'm 4'10". If short is good, then shorter is better. OBVIOUSLY.

9. Unlike Avril, I keep my terrible singing to myself in the car on the way to and from work.

8. As a meat-eater, I can more fully participate in "steak and a blowjob day."

7. I didn't piss off Johnny Rotten.

6. Unlike Avril, I haven't peaked too early in life. My Great American Novel? It's on the way, no rush. Meanwhile, with regard to Avril's 15 minutes of fame, she's at about 13:48.

5. I have attained a higher level of education.

4. "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife/And from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you." So although I'm not HOTT, I'm clearly more desirable in the long-term. (That otherwise dreadful song is Kid Creole and the Coconuts, in case you're curious. Bet Avril doesn't know that one. EDIT: I was led astray by the Internet on the name of this band, but JR set me straight. The original point still stands, though.)

3. Avril spits on the paparazzi and tells autograph seekers to fuck off. Mmm...classy. Granted, I'm sure all the intrusions and lack of privacy can be trying, Avril, but I know your mama didn't raise you to spit on people. At least MINE didn't. I don't spit on people, knowing that not only is that sort of behavior disgusting, but it also constitutes battery. Therefore, I am greater.

2. She has stupid tattoos. I do not.

1. Considering that she married that guy from Sum 41, I CLEARLY have better taste in men.

And Gabriel says I'm the one in denial? Please.

Posted by maise in maise_bites | Permalink | Comments (18)

2007.06.17

[Ban_the_Man]

I don't know about you, but I've HAD IT with this Avril Lavigne shit. She's "okay" but it's time to get back to what made this site great...YOU KNOW WHO I MEAN. Besides, I've received something VERY COOL in the WTC inbox and simply must share.

Although The Old Man's been really quiet lately, it seems he's been making a LOT of progress on the Year Zero movie. He's been working extensively with visionary auteur Terry Gilliam and some very impressive A-LISTERS. Here's a sneak preview, just for WTC readers...

Posted by Iris in iris_gushes | Permalink | Comments (70)

2007.06.15

[Which_Avril_Is_Hotter]

Here at Avril Is Resistance, it's hard to know which era of our FAVE ginger/blonde/black-haired angel is the bestest. There's so many SEXXXY looks to choose from, there's only one thing to be sure of: No matter which Era of Avril you're looking at, it's gonna be HOTT!

But we're like to hear from you, dear readers -- which Avril Is YOUR Favorite?

A. Classic

B. Classy

C. High End

D. The Starlet

E. Old School

I don't know, it's hard to know which era of Sparklehair I love the most. But vote away, Avril-ites! Who's your Fave?

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink | Comments (37)

2007.06.13

[The_Trent_Embargo]

Well folks, it's come to this.

Maybe it's the fact that the ARG died so abruptly, without fully delivering on the immense promise it held, that had has all so excited. Maybe it's the fact that "Year Zero" didn't really come through on the whole "makes you wanna fuck" vibe we were hoping for. Maybe we're just older, and tireder this time around -- and maybe Trent is too.

Either way, pickins is slim when it comes to talking about Herr Reznor these days, and here at WTC, it's pretty much boresville. Earlier today, the topic of TEH SEXXIEST EVAR -- Ms. Avril Lavigne -- came up, a GODDESS who Maise will not acknowledge the hotness of because Maise is bitter and jealous. Between the two, we found this former home of scathing sarcasm and hopefully funny insight turned into a turgid turd of denial and lethargy.

So that's it folks. Until Maise owns up to Avril's hotness (or until Trent does something fucking interesting, which won't be for another like 10 months, if we're lucky), there is now an EMBARGO ON ALL THINGS TRENT at WTC. Any comments about Trent Reznor will get you banned.

This may also be referred to as The Boredom Embargo.

I hope you're happy Maise. Nice work.

Praise Avril!

Posted by Gabriel in gabriel's_ponderings | Permalink | Comments (116)